• Member Since 10th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

TheMajorTechie


Oh, look at me... you've got me tearing up again. ◈ Forget about coffee buy me a cup noodle.

More Blog Posts2545

Oct
27th
2020

Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #49: [The Ultimate-est Pichu of Equestria]! · 6:32am Oct 27th, 2020

haha, pichu go brrr.

EThe Ultimate-est Pichu of Equestria
I challenge you to a 1v1 in Smash Ultimate... FITE ME.
TheMajorTechie · 1k words · 450 views

So, I've actually had a liking towards Pichu long before I ever joined the site. Naturally, when Smash Ultimate released with Pichu being playable again, I picked my new main without much hesitation. I was a Brawl Pikachu main anyway.

So, lingering ties to the Pokemon fandom aside, let's get onto the story!

One freakin motorcycle was all it took.

One. Freakin'. Motorcycle.

I busted Wario through two stocks already, and it looked pretty much like I was about to three-stock him, too. Of course, my player just had to try a different tactic at the very end to take out Wario, and guess what happened? I got creamed.

Huh. I don't remember writing this in first perso--

It's all about the player, I'm telling you. Who cares where the heck I am on the tier list? I was a meme character when I first joined Smash, and look where I am now?! One game I could be handing out KO after KO with my combo chains, and the next? I could be under the control of a move-spammer who only cares about my Down-Special.

Man, this level of self-awareness is normally quite rare outside of What If.

Ah. Well, looks like my time here is up 🅱ois. I guess I'll just sit around on the character selection screen until somebody good chooses me.

Head => Keyboard

... Nah, I've been smashing n00bs ever since I first hatched from the egg! Who cares if I'm cute on the outside? I, Pichu, have rightfully gained my place at the tops of the tier lists, after years of absence and heavy training since my early days in Melee. I'd laugh if this weren't actually some kind of hidden adventure mode.

*sweaty gamer moment intensifies*

Dang, my throat's dry already? Wait, why's my throat dry? Is this what being a CPU feels like? Am I actually acting on my own free will, or am I just following some crazy meta pre-scripted command coded somewhere into the ga--

I'm starting to think that I killed this story for being too self-aware.

"Okay, seriously, you're hurting my ears saying 'pee' over and over. I'm gonna go get Fluttershy."

Haha, funny funny pee word

*Teleports behind you*

Agility! Zip-zip, right up into rang-- a grab?!

"Alright, you're comin' with me, whatever you are. We're heading to Twilight's place instead."

Hm. Twilight's Place. Is that a new stage or something? I heard that there's still some unrevealed DLC for the game.

"Stop squirming! You're building up static!"

You betcha I am. I'ma gonna hit this mare with a thunder harder than Ness's bat.

And then Pichu proceeded to be nerfed out of top-tier.

Either way, this place is really weird. Weirder even than Galeem. It's this probably isn't even Smash Bros anymore weird.

This story is confirmed weird. The Pichu said so.

Comments ( 1 )

Mmm... Lucario is better

Login or register to comment