So weary · 8:59pm Oct 18th, 2020
There are days I simply feel so weary and tired. Where every movement requires strenuous effort, trying to get any productive task started is an impossible challenge, and even my hobbies no longer promise entertainment (or at least relief).
I realize I'm spiraling downwards, deeper into depression, but I cannot find anything to stop (not to mention reverse) the process.
The good news is I still have someone who needs me and deeply cares about me. The bad news is that they have end-stage COPD, which has significantly worsened over the last year. So they are waiting for a lung transplant, hoping to get it before their own fails or they succumb to despair (not being able to breathe properly takes a toll on the mind, who would have guessed) - and even then only 80% make it past the one year mark... If I lost them, I honestly don't know what I'd do, if I could continue onwards somehow.
So, that's about it for now, it helps a bit to write things down, even if I'm probably the only one who reads or cares about it.
