• Member Since 14th Dec, 2011
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Steel Resolve

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  • 12 weeks
    Hello, how are you?

    It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry. I hope that you're well.

    10 months since I last blogged. Shall I catch you up a little?

    Read More

    14 comments · 959 views
  • 57 weeks
    It's been a long December and there's reason to believe...

    Maybe this year will be better than the last.

    I'd say more, but let's not tempt fate, she seems to be having a rough year too.

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  • 64 weeks
    Have you voted yet?

    This isn't an endorsement, I have no facts and figures to offer you, no scandals to mention. I'll just say that this election may well be the most noteworthy in quite some time for the turnout, and early voting is still happening tomorrow. If you mailed yours in, check to make sure it was received. If it wasn't, there is still time to vote in person and cancel the mail in. No matter how you do

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    12 comments · 303 views
  • 67 weeks
    Hello out there

    It's been a long while, sorry for the radio silence. I've... been going through some life issues of late. Long time readers and followers might remember my wife has had some medical problems in the past... and well...

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    15 comments · 653 views

Hello out there · 12:51am Oct 8th, 2020

It's been a long while, sorry for the radio silence. I've... been going through some life issues of late. Long time readers and followers might remember my wife has had some medical problems in the past... and well...

Since February she was so consistently exhausted we finally just broke down and filed for disability. That's been an ongoing process since then, but in June... she had a heart attack.

Now, this wasn't just chest pains. We got her to the emergency room, and... she leaned over and died. For a minute, apparently, before they managed to bring her back with chest compressions and defibrillator use. Left her badly bruised, and apparently in the scuffle they left a big gaping wound in her foot, but she lived.

They moved her to another emergency room with a heart specialist, with the intent of checking her for blocked arteries, and they found one that was 70% blocked, and decided to fix it with a metal stint. Then, things took a turn for the worse.

"How could it get worse?" you ask? Well, this was in mid-June, in Texas, and because we have a republican governor (meaning he has certain expectations of him by certain people who are less than cautious about this virus), he was trying out a partial relaxation of our lock down a little earlier than we probably should have. He's a smart man, and locked us down again after the numbers started jumping up, but by then, well...

My wife was in an ICU where we were only supposed to have 1 visitor per patient. As best I can figure, people got a bit lax in their precautions, because my wife got what they called 'pneumonia' the day after she had her exploratory surgery to check where the blockage was. Now, this was a really bad case of it, apparently, because she's had pneumonia and flu before, and never had symptoms this bad. They had to put her on a high flow bipap at 100% oxygen at the highest pressure it could manage. Basically, she was on a ventilator that had a mask instead of a tube down her throat. They wanted to put her on the tube, but she wouldn't hear of it because we... kind of lost her mom that way. Now, granted that was because her mom had severe lung trouble already and the tube was an effort to save her life, but it's hard to not associate that with dying, after the fact.

To make matters worse, my wife has claustrophobia, and anxiety, so... she kept freaking out and taking the mask off, which made her oxygen go from 90s to 50s in a matter of moments.

"Now, hold on..." You say. "This sounds really severe, are you sure it wasn't..." My thoughts exactly, dear reader, but the hospital assured me with multiple tests that she definitely did not have Covid. This was apparently just a severe case of pneumonia brought about by nothing in particular right after coming in for something unrelated. Though they did retest a few times, just to be sure.

So my life became continually spending every waking moment I could with her, while also talking to her as much as I could manage during breaks and lunches. She was on a lot of drugs, and while they helped her not to freak out as much... we're pretty sure they started to make her hallucinate, as she started fearing the various doctors and nurses were trying to kill her. It's... a bit heart breaking to have to explain to your very sick wife that she cannot come home because she would not survive even getting to the lobby.

After 3 weeks, she finally progressed enough in her recovery to move her from the ICU to a normal room. 3 weeks of terror and not knowing if the next time I saw her would be...

So, after all this time, it's finally time to address the heart; the one organ that wasn't trying to fail her in these 3 weeks. They did a blood test to check for abnormalities... and found Covid antibodies.

She'd had 2 swabs and 1 blood test prior to this, no sign. But the antibody tests are more reliable, if a bit useless for knowing if someone is infectious, since by the time you get antibodies the infection is over.

She's been out of the hospital for 3 months now, having had the stint put in successfully and going home with an oxygen condenser. She has recovered to the point where she's much more functional than she was back in February, and is able to be off oxygen for the most part, though we still have her on it while she sleeps. She has a brand new diagnosis of COPD, gets a bit out of breath taking stairs and if she has to move quickly... but her heart is strong, the stint solved the blood flow problems that had made her vertigo worse, and most importantly... she's alive.

So, that's been my life since... basically last year, as her health had been getting worse and worse up till February when we gave up even trying to have her work. I'm so sorry for dropping off the map, and for going on a hiatus on my stories. But things are starting to look up just a bit. While the lack of a second income is a problem, I qualified for some state help with food, and my income basically covers bills, for the most part. Disability looks like it might actually be approved, so there's that as well.

That being said, if you find yourself flush with cash for some reason (I know many of you may be having as bad if not worse problems, this is 2020, we're all in hell together) Here's my paypal. I certainly wouldn't turn down some help, as the fine doctors and nurses who helped save her sent us a nice stack of bills with some high numbers that we really have no means to deal with. There's one for 3 grand, another for 5, lots of smaller ones. I have her on my insurance but they didn't cover everything, so we're left with a lot of fallout. Some help would be greatly appreciated, as most of these places insist on some form of payment and we are barely squeaking by.

I've been in a better place to write, and while I don't have anything ready to publish just yet, I've had a couple chapters of stories in the works. I'll try to have something out for Folly before I officially pass one year without updates.

As a thank you for reading all of this, have a picture my dear friend Saturdaymorningprog drew me. More soon.

Report Steel Resolve · 653 views · Story: The Folly Of Princesses ·
Comments ( 15 )

Holy shit, dude. I don't even know what to say.

I'm just glad she's still alive so she can be with you.

I am so sorry you are going through this and your wife had to suffer. I hope you guys can get on some better financial footing , send my well wishes to your wife for me . I was wondering what had happened too you, was starting to think the worst when you disappeared. I knew your situation isn't the best , and was sad to think something horrible had happened. I barely get 3 days a week at work or I'd send some money your way. It's so hard for everybody now a days. It's frustrating when you want to help but can barely help yourself as it is.
Blessed Be

Take care of your wife and yourself. Wishing you both the best.

Holy christ that is a lot. I am so relieved to hear that her health is improving, if only slightly. I can't help a lot myself, but you two have my most sincere well-wishes. Best of luck to you two. You deserve it.

Damn, dude.

I'm glad you're ok, but... that's a lot of BS to deal with.

Stay strong, my friend.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Author Interviewer

shit, dude D:

Oh wow... I'm so sorry y'all had to go through all of that.

I'm very sorry for what you've been through. That sounds just awful. I'm glad she's doing okay, though.

Don't be shy about asking for help if you need it. Your request is buried at the bottom of a long post. Do you need this signal boosted?

EDIT: I sent something your way, but without knowing what your bills are like it's difficult to gauge what your need is. You should be more forthcoming, I think.

He's a smart man, and locked us down again after the numbers started jumping up, but by then, well...

I'm not sure I'd agree with that assessment. He's not particularly intelligent to begin with for ignoring the science, which at the time was very clear that loosening the restrictions at that stage was a big mistake. In addition, your governor has literally stated that the government should intervene to prevent people from having sexual pleasure when they're not making babies, hence his defense of the Texan ban on sex toys (and somehow I very much doubt he neither masturbates nor engages in sex when his wife is unable to conceive). I don't care if his position is due to his religion or his politics, he's still a fucking idiot.

We got one for 3 grand, another for five... those are the big ones, but a bunch of smaller ones. I'm hoping stimulus checks happen, but things are looking bleak.

Edit: Yeah... but on the lock downs at least, he's been cautious (I feel awful for saying 'for a republican' but these are the times we live in.) I feel like I have to give him some credit for having the guts to think for himself instead of just blindly following in line like that joke in Florida.

When I started reading, I actually began to fear what might be the end of this blog post. I am so~ glad that she made it. I don't know her - but I wish her the best anyway. And to be honest, with all this stuff going down, you being here, writing this at all? You're tough as nails, Steel. I hope you guys get enough support to deal with the financial fallout. I'm sadly still in a position where I can't help out as much as I'd like to. But I wish you the best!

I am so sorry that you two had to endure that. I'm glad that things are looking up. There's no need to apologize for making your life outside this site your priority. Much love.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Please make sure to contact the office each hospital has to handle billing. They're often willing to lower it or consolidate it because they'd rather get something and the bills off their books then sell it for pennies to a collector months from now. But they won't unless you know to ask.

I'm very sorry to hear what you went through and wish you both the best.

I'm so sorry this happened to you

While I may be late to this... I have every confidence that you'll make it just fine. I feel bad for not sending anything your way after all the effort you've put into making my days just a little brighter, but I'm dealing with some stuff myself...

At any rate, I wish you both luck on top of everything else going your way. That's my hope, anyway. Your writing has given me strength at times, and I just wanted you to know that you've made a difference.

Thank you. Stay strong.

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