Why you shouldn't force anybody to do anything when you have no idea what they're dealing with - real talk about generalised anxiety and mental illness

You should always try and be mindful about the feelings of those around you, no matter who they are or where you are.

You have no idea what that person is dealing with. Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, fear of crowds, stage fright, etc. Everyone is entirely different and because they suffer from these issues, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with them necessarily. You don't know if that was how they've always been or if something has happened to alter their personality through a traumatic event, giving them severe PTSD.

This means, I don't know, let's say you're in a group of friends, all who are the outdoorsy type and are thinking of hanging out together in the woods, a wide and open space which is usually trafficked by people on a daily basis. There is this one friend who you ask to come along but they politely decline, saying they don't like to leave their home. You ask them if they're sure and they again politely decline. Maybe you keep trying and get the same response, maybe you get a bit agitated by this and say something to them, not necessarily mean-spirited but enough to trigger a reaction from their emotional delicacy.

If somebody says no, then once should be enough. Don't but heads over it, don't repeat your same invitation, just accept that they'd rather be alone in their comfort zone and leave it at that. A lot of people are like this, and I have encountered them before, as I'm one of them. I find socialising a bit scary and it makes me act differently, so I avoid it to stop any potential bad moments from taking place.

You may have noticed more than likely that while you were in school there was probably this one kid who sat in the corner, furthest away from the rest of their class and tended to keep to themselves and was very reserved, maybe noticeably getting tense when they get approached? Think of it like that. It's becoming more common and generalised anxiety is no laughing matter. If you've ever seen a panic attack take place, then you better believe me that it's bad.

I'll tell you a little story: I was about to start college in 2015-2016 following leaving school. The campus was still being built and it was directly next door to my house, so I have a nearby safe zone if things went terrible. I didn't even go inside on my own because it was crammed with new students. I stood outside, feeling my heart pounding away, the lining of my stomach tickling and i felt cold sweat. I only entered when I saw one of my friends coming along and I walked in with him, seeing as we were both applying for the exact same course.

When I got inside with him, my nerves were on fire. Like, I was hyperventilating, freaking out, I went pale, began sweating coldly and couldn't control my breathing. My friend did take notice and asked me what was wrong and i just mumbled out, ''Nervous.'' He said he was nervous too like nothing was wrong. I was genuinely on the very of a full-on panic attack. I can't say I've freaked out like that before. I mean, this was the start of a new chapter in my education towards a better future and here I am, in a crowd of people, all of my anxiety letting loose and almost making my heart explode from how fast my pulse was.

I try not to let anything show if I can help it, and my self-control with my emotions is usually well in-check, but that, being in a massive crowd...god, I'm surprised I was conscious the whole time and didn't pass out.

But the lesson here is that you should never pressure anybody nor make them do things they are not ready for or are uncomfortable with, full stop. You never have any idea what struggle any person you meet is facing, and even the most innocent and unintentionally hurtful lines can hurt them deeply, not like if it was another person who didn't suffer their mental issues. There is a difference between a mental issue and a general fear, and I wish more people were not so arrogant about that. Every time I hear ''you won't beat it if you don't face your fears'' really irks me, but I keep my mouth shut.

If you have a friend like this, take things slow with them and be patient. It's hard to understand exactly what might trigger them, so slowly allowing themselves to open up is a good start in understanding their insecurities and fragile mentality. It's a hard life to live, and most won't know what it's like to live this way. So, please, be patient and don't force anything on anyone or pressure them.