• Member Since 30th Apr, 2019
  • offline last seen Yesterday

MlpHero


Where headcanon becomes absurd and canon absurder

More Blog Posts2177

  • 4 weeks
    Canon+ Lore Dump 1: Bolt-Throwers and Magi-Throwers

    Information:
    Bolt-Throwers are a new weapon, introduced in my headcanon. Bolt-Throwers are loaded with… well, bolts, which are essentially big nails.

    Read More

    0 comments · 16 views
  • 4 weeks
    I should really make a come back here

    Gotta do my redemption arc lmao

    The next BFR chapter is at 1670 words. It's coming

    It's just my tism has me working on like

    8 different stories lmao

    I might start dropping Canon+ stuff tho. Mainly lore dumps

    I'm also working on the cover art so yippeeeeeee

    1 comments · 22 views
  • 12 weeks
    Not Dead Yet. Surprisingly

    So uh… where the fuck have I been?

    So as some of you know, I don’t log onto Fimfic that much anymore, unless it’s to update a story (I might change that, but Fimfic doesn’t seem to get a lotta traction anymore-)

    So what’s up? Where are the stories? Why am I dead?

    Well, it’s mostly because I’m not particularly smart. Basically, I have a *bunch* of side projects I’ve started working on.

    Read More

    0 comments · 54 views
  • 23 weeks
    New Blue Fang chapter out

    Gods above, I really gotta get a schedule or something.

    0 comments · 83 views
  • 33 weeks
    Current Projects

    This is a list of ongoing or planned projects

    Firstly, I have a new saga that’s not MLP!

    Introducing

    Journeys

    This is a new fic series based on a Pokémon AU I’ve had for some time now, but it’s out now on Ao3! Two chapters so far, but many more to come!

    Read More

    1 comments · 110 views
Sep
30th
2020

Hero Tries · 11:28pm Sep 30th, 2020

“Okay Zen, welcome to Changeling Mating 101.”

“Yay!”

*Chuckles nervously* why couldn’t Hive teach you this...? “Okay, okay. So, I assume you know what your ovipositor is, right?”

“Mhm!”

“Heh, okay. So, I should probably teach you about orgasms.”

“Org-what?”

“Orgasm. It’s what happens when you have intercourse.”

“Wait, why would I need to know this? The chances of me and Flutters having—”

*Covers ears frantically* “No! No Zen! No! I don’t need another mental image! I’m still trying to get over the one with Smolder and Ocellus!”

“What?”

“It’s a long story that involves a lot of blackmail, and a whole lotta tickling. Anyway, we have two orgasms. First is the eggs. See, unreformed ovipositors call split open the a flower. It’s called a blossom, and it’s how we implant eggs into our mate.”

“Ooh.”

“Eeyup. Reformed changelings have it harder when it comes to eggs. Then, we have the liquid form, which we call 'fertilizer'.”

“Why’s that? Do we use it on plants or something?”

“What? No! We use it to fertilize the eggs! Why would you— what?! How do you slay demons and use bullet weapons, but not know the basics of sexual intercourse?! I bet Flutterwings knows more about this field than you!”

“How do you know?!”

“I don’t wanna know! Why can’t Papa Pharynx teach you about this?!”

*Breaks down the door* “Hell no! I already taught Flutterwings what the buck a lesbian was, I’m not teaching Zen how to fuck someone!”

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck yourself!”

“Bet!” *Raises butterfly knife over his ovipositor*

“Hero, no!!!”

Report MlpHero · 98 views · #Hero #Zenex #Pharynx
Comments ( 14 )

I've never seen someone take the phrase "Go fuck yourself" so literally before.

5367754
That’s my charm!

:rainbowlaugh: Hilarious! Nice callback to Pharynx What The Buck Is A Lesbian, too!

5367758
Heh, glad you enjoyed

5367759
Heh, of course, that was hilarious

5367770
Heh, of course Bez

:pinkiehappy: Smiling the whole time... untill the end...
:facehoof:

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