Hero Tries · 11:28pm Sep 30th, 2020
“Okay Zen, welcome to Changeling Mating 101.”
“Yay!”
*Chuckles nervously* why couldn’t Hive teach you this...? “Okay, okay. So, I assume you know what your ovipositor is, right?”
“Mhm!”
“Heh, okay. So, I should probably teach you about orgasms.”
“Org-what?”
“Orgasm. It’s what happens when you have intercourse.”
“Wait, why would I need to know this? The chances of me and Flutters having—”
*Covers ears frantically* “No! No Zen! No! I don’t need another mental image! I’m still trying to get over the one with Smolder and Ocellus!”
“What?”
“It’s a long story that involves a lot of blackmail, and a whole lotta tickling. Anyway, we have two orgasms. First is the eggs. See, unreformed ovipositors call split open the a flower. It’s called a blossom, and it’s how we implant eggs into our mate.”
“Ooh.”
“Eeyup. Reformed changelings have it harder when it comes to eggs. Then, we have the liquid form, which we call 'fertilizer'.”
“Why’s that? Do we use it on plants or something?”
“What? No! We use it to fertilize the eggs! Why would you— what?! How do you slay demons and use bullet weapons, but not know the basics of sexual intercourse?! I bet Flutterwings knows more about this field than you!”
“How do you know?!”
“I don’t wanna know! Why can’t Papa Pharynx teach you about this?!”
*Breaks down the door* “Hell no! I already taught Flutterwings what the buck a lesbian was, I’m not teaching Zen how to fuck someone!”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck yourself!”
“Bet!” *Raises butterfly knife over his ovipositor*
“Hero, no!!!”
I've never seen someone take the phrase "Go fuck yourself" so literally before.
5367754
That’s my charm!
lol
5367756
Thanks
Hilarious! Nice callback to Pharynx What The Buck Is A Lesbian, too!
5367758
Heh, glad you enjoyed
5367759
Heh, of course, that was hilarious
5367762
Thanks
5367763
No problem
5367758
5367759
Yeah, thanks!
5367770
Heh, of course Bez
5367770
Heh, no problem!
Smiling the whole time... untill the end...
5367794
Whaaaaaaaa?