Some Writing Epiphanies. Also "WHERE'S MY CHAPTER?!" · 12:38am Sep 26th, 2020
Okay, so... you might have noticed that chapter 6 still isn't out yet. Unfortunately, it's going to be that way for a little bit longer, somewhere between one and four weeks longer. Half of the thing is, I had a sort of discovery of my own writing style that I knew and yet didn't fully understand how much it impacts the way I write.
About three weeks ago, chapter 6 seemed to be coming along nicely. I got about 8K words into it (and then work happened, but I'll get to that in a bit) and took a little break. Then, a few days ago, I got back into it and started an editing pass on the half-ish of the chapter that's written so far. But about five thousand words into the editing session, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was just something... wrong with it. So I finish up and call it at that, heading off to tend to my normal life tasks.
Yesterday comes by and I have time to edit some more. I stroll through, fixing all the weird grammars, making sure actions flow into other actions, and all sorts of other stuff on the technical side of writing.
But then I notice something. I stopped looking at the technical bits and began reading it, not for editing, but for feel. For characterization and depth. And I was distressed to find it wasn't there. Yeah, the characters were doing and saying things, but they weren't being. They felt stale, like they weren't really... there. Cardboard cutouts, almost. And that's when I realized it.
All I was doing was writing.
Yes, I know, "Amazing epiphany," you're thinking as you roll your eyes, but bear with me. When I write, especially for the emotion-laden scenes, I try to put myself into the character's (horse)shoes. I try to feel what I think they would feel. Try to experience them and their scene, whether it be happy, sad, exciting, angry, or terrifying. And as I'm doing that, I put words onto the page, moving and feeling alongside the characters.
Except I didn't do that when I was writing chapter 6, and it showed.
I honestly hadn't realized how big of an impact that made on my writing. It's like because I didn't try to experience my characters feelings and emotions, they didn't get to experience anything. They ended up just going through the motions.
So, what does this mean? Well, it means I have to go back and try to fix what I have and possibly, worst case scenario, rewrite those 8K words. Which, I hate to say it, could take up to another four weeks.
Though, you may be wondering, "Why didn't you write the way you have been? If it was working, why change it?"
It wasn't really intentional. The other half of the problem stems from that one pesky thing we can't ever seem to get away from: work.
A few weeks ago, work had started to ramp up in pace. Then on top of that, my work schedule changed, but my sleep schedule was rather resistant, as it won't to be. Then I got a kick in the stomach and was scheduled to work two twelve day weeks in a row. Yes, that's twelve days on, two days off, twelve days on.
As such, I've been rather exhausted. I wrote and edited when I could, but it seems that wasn't for the best. I had no emotional energy to dedicate to my characters and they languished because of it.
In response to all that, this weekend, I'm going to take a few hours of breather time for myself, then jump right back into it and try to get as much done as I can. Not just because I want to get you guys more to read, but because I want to get the chapter finished and out.
So, even though I've learned it's unnecessary with you all and you'll just tell me to stuff it... sorry for the disappointment. Life happens and sometimes it prevents us from doing the things we want.
But rest assured, I will get a chapter out to you. It's just going to take a little longer than I wanted. Again.
Hu
Hey, it's fine. Take your time.
Also, I looked up your Word of the Day, and that's what actually peeved me in all this. Octothorp... I thought I was gonna learn a cool new word.
I don't really write (and certainly not in English) but I've been translating some Fimfiction stories into Chinese since early 2018. It's no easy task to master the art of translation, especially when the two languages are vastly different. I don't have to face the problem of characters behaving like emotionless machines, but I must give the them a voice that sounds distinctly Chinese, not some weird, cold, twisted stuff coming out from Google Translate (essentially, a machine) that doesn't really make any sense. I was so bad at this at the beginning and I'm still not quite there, but I'm improving. Sometimes I go back to the things I wrote down like a year ago and have to resist the urge to rewrite the whole thing again. So yeah, I feel for you. Kind of. Don't push yourself too hard, we'll be waiting patiently.
This reminds me of how I personally read stories. I picture myself in their world and become the character in focus. Whatever emotion they conveyed, in plain writing or implicit, I feel it. I even act out and overreact like a lunatic especially in critical scenes. When I don't do such things, the story seems to feel monotone and bland. I don't write (because I suck at it), but I can empathize in your epiphany of feeling the characters you write or read to truly make things natural and harmonizing.
Don't be too hard on yourself. There is value in rest and breaks!
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Attempting to translate...
Translating...
Translating...
Translation complete with a 17% certainty factor.
Attempting response generation...
Generating response...
Response generated.
Hah?
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Taking my time (even though I'm working hard at chapter 6 this weekend) is part of the reason I decided to delay the chapter release. I had no desire to push out a mediocre chapter.
As you've seen with some of the cliffhangers I've posed, there's a small part of me that sees an opportunity for evil and can't help but leap for it.
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I can only imagine the challenges of taking fiction from one language and transcribing them in another, while trying to keep the same overall impact and meaning. All I have to do is translate the ideas within the jumbled mess that is my brain and put them on paper. Either way, it sounds like both have their own skillsets and complications.
Pushing myself too hard is one of the things I struggle with. It's all about the guilt of feeling like I'm not doing as much as I could and tempering it with reminding myself that self-care is important.
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That's pretty interesting. I read somewhat similarly, putting myself into the character's world, but to a lesser degree.
One of the reasons I decided to delay the chapter was to make sure people like you had the opportunity to delve into my story with as few distractions and interruptions as possible. There's few things worse when reading a story than losing your suspension of disbelief or having your immersion broken.
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Rest and breaks are for the week!
Though, jokes aside, don't worry. I'm making sure to take time for myself. Getting this chapter out is a personal goal for me. Having readers who enjoy it makes it all the sweeter to get there.
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Meh
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Hu Hah Meh.
(Who, Hamay?)
Take all the time you need. Good writing takes time after all, and the cliffhanger from chapter 4 requires your best. (Still upset about it, but in a good way.) Can't wait to see it.
I suddenly know why I love your story so much. It's like this: If a story isn't emotionally deep, I read, get drained, and read slower, but then when it is emotionally deep, I find I've read 100k words in 4 hours or 7 words per second. At that speed, I don't have time to care about word choice or grammar and all of that. I'm just so invested that I hit warp speed and sink into the timeless state.
Your story does that for me, and that's worth waiting for.
and, umm... you wouldn't mind going just a... little faster... if that's not too much to ask for
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The comments are much appreciated. I'm sure you'll be... we'll call it "happy" to know that prior to finishing chapter 4, chapter 5 was going to be the next part of Firefly and Roast's dilemma. I decided to move it around for flow reasons.
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Hahaha, yes, well, I'm certainly trying to get the chapter out as much as my work, energy, and writing capacity will let me. Most of the 8K words I wrote have been rewritten with only some more minor touches and out-of-character problems left to address.
That's also very interesting how you read. I'm really glad I'm able to get my ideas of their feelings (agony and heartache, much?) out as well as it seems to.
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Truly, your work is the closest to real life as I've found on this site. Despite being in the forms of ponies and changelings, you've managed to convey the immense complexity and depth of the human condition with a story that reminds me of the Cold War period. Here we have a spy and a coffee shop owner falling in love with all the myriad consequences shown instead of ignored (like most amateur authors would do). I could substitute changelings for Russian spies in a Cold War America and the setting would translate perfectly. You have lying and suspicious neighbors and the tear between duty and love and police interrogating people at the drop of a hat.
Then you perfectly describe what I imagine it to be like to try and find your way in a big city with no connections to your name whatsoever. The sheer terror of the unknown here is overwhelming, and the way simple kindness is accidentally returned with pain is truly a form of agony and heartbreak to remember.
I know from my experience reading tens of millions of words that it's rare to find books such as yours where emotions are so clearly found in the physical world aligning with, explaining, and supporting the thought processes of the characters. Your characters aren't just well portrayed, they're perfectly themselves. It quite frankly blows my mind that a story can even attain such levels of photo-realistic characterization.
I could probably gush for hours, so I'll just stop here before it goes out of hand and starts eating into my sleep schedule.
You're the best, and I cherish every word you write.