• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

PresentPerfect


Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect

More Blog Posts2550

  • 6 days
    Twilight the 没用

    Yesterday, a fellow named SoothingBell asked if they could translate Twilight the Useless to Chinese, and no way was I gonna say no. :D

    And they turned it around in 24 hours, amazing!

    https://fimtale.com/t/64723

    4 comments · 134 views
  • 1 week
    Idle musing

    so-called because that's what led me to the realization

    What is so compelling about the idea of "warrior woman runs afoul of a wizard and is flung centuries into the future" that I made it happen twice?

    ...And with slightly more musing, I also realize, in a roundabout way, it was with the same wizard. >_> Huh.

    Read More

    7 comments · 169 views
  • 1 week
    Fic recs, March 20th!

    Posting a day earlier than usual because the next reading is a long one!

    H: 1 R: 2 C: 1 V: 1 N: 3

    Read More

    6 comments · 196 views
  • 2 weeks
    Fic recs, March 14th!

    Lotus Moon has done a reading of Fleety's What's Philomena's Name?!

    Hey, help out Regidar, he's looking for experimental fics! Self-promotion allowed!

    Read More

    5 comments · 237 views
  • 3 weeks
    Fic recs, March 8th: Top Ten of 2023!

    Whaaaaat, two review blogs in a row?

    Well hell yes, because I have done much better with the top ten this year and I am inordinately pleased with myself! :3 here's the explanation of the setup, for all that it has never adequately explained what's going on to like, literally anyone:

    Read More

    19 comments · 274 views
Sep
13th
2020

Fic recs, September 13th: Dr. Renegade edition! · 6:59pm Sep 13th, 2020

ajvasquezbrony really likes shipping Sonata and Octavia, so much that's running a contest for it! Details within.

Scribbler's newest reading is Estee's Five Hundred Little Murders, with Illya Leonov, Jessie Borgman, Caitbug and Wuten! What a lineup for a great fic. :D

This is a reader blog! Razor Reviews is now KoraxCatalyst and focused on anime stuff, so our next reader is Dr. Renegade! And he's actually still active as of this year, though it seems he's doing nothing but clopfics anymore. c.c The List, which of course I can't include links in:

Akumokagetsu's Octavia Makes Sweet, Hot, Dirty Love to a Cardboard Box
Nintendoboy1000's An Angel of Generosity
Super Trampoline's Derpy Writes Erotic Poetry; Twilight Gets to Deal With It
Branded Penguin's WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO
Jot Jiggety Jog's Electrotica
The Abyss's Vinyl's Early Morning Birthday Surprise
errant's Paparazzi and Symphony

I skipped over so many readings because seriously, he just does clopfics! D: Just four of these are not clop, so be warned! I retain the right to abandon any of these mid-reading, and I absolutely did. :B And apparently should have skipped more.

H: 0 R: 3 C: 4 V: 1 N: 4

Five Minutes Flat by cooopercrisp
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Appledash Clop
AJ and Rainbow are both drunk. Good time to make a bet about how fast Dash can make her orgasm.
Yaknow, this has some pretty fun banter (though, oh boy, it sure is weird to hear ponies just using real-world swears, and lots of them), but once it gets to the sex, it becomes very bare-bones, dry, and altogether boring. I mean, I'm definitely bored by the concept of ponies having sex at this point, so I'm setting myself up for a bad time here, but there just wasn't anything to this. I guess I'd hoped it would be funny.
Not Recommended

Pegasus Smiles by Mustard Is Best Pony
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Weird Clop
Fluttershy has a dentist appointment. Unfortunately for both of them, Colgate really likes teeth.
This was equal parts pleasantly bizarre and just unpleasant. If this had cut off before they got in the shower together, it would have been amazing. Instead, there's just some weird — and I do mean weird — sex and a whole lot of fluids, which dampened (heh) (ugh) my appreciation for the strange fetishes. I get the feeling this is something of a hallmark of this author's writing, and I'm surprised no one's ever sicced me on them before.
Recommended If You Like Weird Stuff

You Are Special by Ianpiersonjdavis
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash doesn't usually cry this much.
Travel with me, back to a time when Rainbow Dash's family consisted of herself, "Rainbow Dad" and probably-Firefly-I-guess-because-we-like-G1-cameos. Rainbow Dad goes to investigate his daughter's crying and finds her upset over something that, admittedly, I would consider more of a problem in the real world than Equestria (and to be fair, no context is given beyond an expectation that this is something anyone would be upset over), but that is otherwise handled well. That said, the main problem with this story is its rambly, often telly writing. We get the entire backstory of her family, including extra context for the "Cloudsdale doesn't get the Equestria Games" scene from Games Ponies Play. Very little of that is necessary for understanding the main conflict, though it does at least inform her relationship with her dad. In the end, this may not be anything too special, but its affirmation is important.
Recommended If You Like Positive Stories About LGBT Issues

Note by Note by 007Delta
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Romantic Clop/Fetish Fic?
Vinyl Scratch gets a note telling her to show up at the Ponyville Auditorium. What could Octavia have in store for her?
Well, guess what, it doesn't matter. Chapter four of this story includes the exchange, "But that's rape!" "Not if they don't wake up." So fuck. It. The rest was boring, unoriginal and generally confusing anyway.
Not Recommended

Surprise Help by Xvern
Reading
Genre: Dark HiE
Cadence and Shining Armor defeat the changelings in a slightly different way.
A better question for this story to ask would be, "Do you think the wedding in Canterlot would have been better with more gratuitous violence and death?" This was clearly just written as military wank, and I get the sense the writer didn't even care that much about ponies. I mean, the first half is a blow-by-blow of the wedding, with a pause to remind us that scenes of war and bloodshed in history books are generally kept from the Equestrian populace at large. Then two helicopters show up and blow the changelings to kingdom come in a shower of gunfire and impenetrable military jargon. And it's not even that good! This could have been a comedy, or it could have been an interesting dive into the ramifications of humans just showing up in Equestria, but instead it just shrugs and delivers a high body count. Pointless.
Not Recommended

Headphones and Butterflies by Mustard Is Best Pony
Reading
600th Review of 2020!
Mature: Sex
Genre: Shippy Clop
Fluttershy's been looking to push her boundaries, but a concert might be too much too soon.
Well, I may have been hasty in my evaluation of Mustard as a writer, because this was actually pretty darned good. Actual story, some adorable character moments as Fluttershy opens up, and horse sex that's actually well written and interesting! Dare I say it, this may just qualify as erotica. And I can't say I've ever seen this pairing before. This was surprising on many levels, and the only downside was the random inclusion of a pony iPod at the end. If you like clop, check it out.
Recommended

A Blissful Change of Rhythm by canadianbrony91
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clop
Vinyl has been overworked lately. Octavia thinks she knows a way to help.
There's something to be said for ambition, and there's something to be said for writing above your ability. Early references to markets crashing due to high sales and copying somehow being different from plagiarism gave me a big hint that this author had no idea what they were doing. And I mean, this is their first clopfic according to the A/N, but that's not actually relevant? These problems are the conceptual equivalent of using large words you don't know the meanings of because you think it makes you sound impressive. And the sex was really boring, just bog-standard stuff you'd expect in a first clopfic. If the sex isn't going to be good, it needs a better story, or at least better writing, to back it up.
Not Recommended

The Sleep Snuggling by HoofBitingActionOverload
Reading by Dr. Renegade and Winged T. Spears
Mature: Sex
Genre: Cloppy Shipping
Rainbow Dash and Applejack have their first sleepover, just them. They're about to learn a lot about themselves.
Hey, more actually good clopfiction! It's good shipping, too. I particularly like how Rainbow is portrayed as quite vulnerable, almost cute. I don't think I have a lot more to say about this, other than I wouldn't have expected less from HBAO. :)
Recommended

30,000 Feet by The Grey Pegasus
Reading
Genre: Flight Fic
Rainbow Dash stands on a high cloud, looking down.
I've never been one for flight fics, really, and this one has a major issue with being, like, mostly numbers. It's more problematic with the reading, which gets really boring in the second half as he reads every single number, but it nevertheless stands to reason that there are long strings of numbers and zero writing in many parts of this story. I had to read the last few hundred words myself due to audio issues, let's say, so I can say the writing has some editing issues. The imagery and so forth is good, at the start of the story when Rainbow's just taking everything in and marveling in the wonder of the moment, but I found the rest dull.
Vaguely Recommended

Fluttershy Has Sex With Her Sofa by Oatmeal Beast
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Sad Clop
Fluttershy stumbles home, drunk and very alone.
From the title, I would have expected some goofy comedy, so the Sad tag was a surprise. I thought I was the only one who wrote sad clop! This is therefore about what you might expect, if you have any expectations at all going in, though it's maybe the only story I've ever read where Fluttershy gets super drunk on purpose. I thought there might be something going on as Fluttershy compares the sofa to her friends, but no, she's just alone and sad and filled to the brim with self-doubts and loathing. :B Relatable.
Recommended

Fluttershy's Alone Time by Fluttersilly
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clop
Fluttershy pleasures herself on a sunny day.
So this is a very light, fluffy sex piece that gains an awful lot when read immediately after the last story. It's kind of a dark — or maybe it should be "bright"? — mirror to that fic, putting the same character in a similar situation and being significantly more positive about it. The fantasy section was nice, not just because it involves Big Mac, but because that's not something I see written often. Otherwise, there's some decent imagery and a weird section where Fluttershy seems to be getting off on the fact that she's getting off? Like, maybe that's a public sex kind of thing, but not even the narrative seems to know what the deal is. Also they shoulda called it "Pleasuring Ponies in the Park".
Recommended After Reading Fluttershy Has Sex With Her Sofa

Fluffy Feathers or: An Unashamed Twida Ship by Toasterwafflekun and Tethered-Angel
Reading
Mature: Sex
Genre: Crack BDSM
Having no interest in the material, my reason for reading this was seeing how it justified its central ship. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Twilight and Gilda are in a dom/sub relationship just because, so deal with it. So the only draw is the sex, which I am not in a place to evaluate.
Recommended Only If You're Into That

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Comments ( 3 )

Also they shoulda called it "Pleasuring Ponies in the Park".

for a Tom Lehrer reference even if you struck it out

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5354904
It's a shower thought, not a review. :V

Yay 😀
Took me a few days to get to this 😓 but appreciated heartsong

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