• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Saturday

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts430

  • 1 week
    Short Hand: Aftermath of Science

    Shepherd: "Twiliiiiight! What the hell-Where did all these bits come from?!"

    He gestures to the pile of gold bits on the kitchen table.

    Twilight: "Ummmm..." taps her hooves together "I asked for donations from all the research participants... I set fifty bits as the minimum donation and well..."

    Shepherd: "... If I didn't know any better, I would swear you were pimping me out."

    Read More

    2 comments · 404 views
  • 1 week
    Short Hand: Tea Party

    Shepherd is invited to a tea party with Fluttershy and Discord.

    Shepherd: "Oh hey... Flying s'mores. Nice."

    Fluttershy: "Oh, I quite like them!"

    Discord: "Do I detect a hint of criticism in your tone, Shepherd?"

    Shepherd: "No. It's nice that you're still as food obsessed as a wine aunt on Twitter. Maybe you can put it on Instagram to impress other childless weirdos"

    Read More

    5 comments · 425 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: A New Generation 2

    Old Man Shepherd had taken Sunny and her friends to an ancient cavern, far from Maretime Bay.

    Hitch: "Uh huh... There a reason we're out here?"

    Izzy: "Is it a good reason? Like a secret candy stash? Ugh, two thousand year old candy! Gross!"

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    11 comments · 440 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: A New Generation...

    In the future, Shepherd, now an old but badass looking man, fell asleep... And then woke up in front of an Earth pony with orange fur, purple mane and tail, and a big smile.

    Shepherd: "Urgh... My head... What the hell happened...?"

    Sunny Starscout: "YES! IT WORKED! THE MAGIC WORKS!"

    Shepherd: "I... Who are you?"

    Read More

    13 comments · 509 views
  • 2 weeks
    Short Hand: Staying over at Rarity's

    After two straight days of his hostess pulling all nighters and exhausting herself, Shepherd finally has enough. He picks Rarity up and carries her to bed, even as she caterwauls and screams about it

    Rarity: "Shepherd?! What do you think you're doing?! Put me down this instant!"

    Shepherd: "You've been up for two whole days! Sleep time now!"

    Read More

    11 comments · 390 views

Short Hand: Blue Apples · 7:02pm Sep 10th, 2020

Blueblood: "Shepherd."

Shepherd: "Blueblood! What's up, mah stallion?"

Blueblood: long, tired sigh "Please, don't."

Shepherd: "Wow. This is serious. What's up? Is it war?"

Blueblood: "No. I dare say it is far worse than a mere war."

Shepherd: "So, what is it?"

Blueblood: "..." sigh "I'm in love."

Shepherd: "... Ummm-"

Blueblood: "Not with you."

Shepherd: "Oh thank God."

Blueblood: "But rather, with the Lady Ponyville. And I need your help."

Shepherd: "Lady Ponyville? I don't think I know her."

Blueblood: "You probably know her better as Applejack Apple."

Shepherd: "... Wait what?!"

Blueblood: "You're surprised she is of nobility? I certainly understand that."

Shepherd: "How do you even know her?"

Blueblood: sigh "When I was younger, my parents had me mingle with foals at meetings of nobility from the outlying provinces to prepare me for my role. I was... Well, to put it mildly, I was ill prepared for how brutish other noble colts and fillies could be to me."

Shepherd: "They bullied you, huh?"

Blueblood: "Extensively. They dumped mud on me, set my quill on fire, gave me swirlies-It was miserable! I hated it... And then some minor noble my age came, and beat them all up. She didn't care about their threats, and she protected me. And she became... Well... My first real friend. That was Lady Ponyville."

Shepherd: "Wow..."

Blueblood: "Our meetings were infrequent but I... I always looked forward to them. Even now, just talking to her is such a refreshing break from the backstabbing and political intrigue of Canterlot. I always know where I stand with her, and she doesn't mock me or use my weaknesses against me. She's so caring and strong and... Well..." He looks bashful "I admire her deeply. Even more now that she's a national hero."

Shepherd: nods "Sounds like you've been keeping this inside for a long time."

Blueblood: sighs "I know, I know... I sound like an idiot, especially to myself. Her place is the hearth and home of her farm, not with me. What would she want with me? I couldn't become a farm pony. And she'd never want to become a noble mare here in Canterlot. It's just... Forget it. Please, don't tell her. It would just ruin the one friendship I treasure the most-"

Shepherd: "Woah woah woah!" gets up "Blueblood! You can't just give up!"

Blueblood: "But there's no chance of it working out! And if I told her... What if it destroyed our friendship?"

Shepherd: "I know that's a scary prospect. Trust me, I get it. But you know Applejack. You know that she'd never end a friendship just because it was awkward! Come on."

Blueblood: "... I don't know how I would respond if she said yes though."

Shepherd: "And that's just as scary a prospect, I know. But you should tell her. Because if you're spouting this off to me, then it's clear that it's really getting to you. You need to be honest with her, just as she's honest with you."

Blueblood: "All right... She is going to the Grand Galloping Gala, correct?"

Shepherd: nods "Yeah!"

Blueblood: nods back "There... I'll tell her there. Somehow..."

Shepherd: pats him on the back "Come on Blueblood. You can do this. And whatever happens, I'll be there."

Blueblood: "You will?"

Shepherd: "Hey, you were one of my first friends here. That makes us bros. And the Code of the Bros is sacred on my planet."

Blueblood: "Thank you Shepherd."

Shepherd: "Hey, relax. What could possibly go wrong?"

Comments ( 15 )

What could... Shepherd, you're smarter than that!

Shepherd: "Hey, relax. What could possibly go wrong?"

Murphy: says nothing, just laughs maniacally.

Because that's the one way to make Rarity's first Gala worse. Splice it with the Trenderhoof Incident. :rainbowlaugh:

I immediately imagine Blueblood's treatment of Rarity is inadvertently also Shepherd's fault for telling Blueblood how to get rid of floozies without knowing that Rarity would be a target.

Wow, Shepherd hasn't learned his lesson about tempting fate yet has he? :rainbowlaugh:

I've always loved the idea that the Apples are nobility but don't act like it so most people don't know. Kinda wish the show had gone with it, because it would have blown Diamond Tiara's little b*chy brain,

To paraphrase Bender from Futurama:

“Andrew, if you don’t make this official canon to Short Hands right now, I will lose all respect for you and punch you.”

Sometimes Shepherd just gets a bit cocky... And the universe has to knock him back.

Shepherd: "Hey, relax. What could possibly go wrong?"

Something goes Wrong

I've always loved the headcanon of the Apples being a noble family, and it's even supported by the actual show. We saw a flashback of Celestia giving the land for Ponyville to the Apples, which would make them Landed nobility, so I've always liked to think of them as Baronets.
Glad to see that you think along the same lines :ajsmug:

Ah yes. Lady Applejack Apple, baroness of Ponyville :yay:

Shepherd: "I know that's a scary prospect. Trust me, I get it. But you know Applejack. You know that she'd never end a friendship just because it was awkward! Come on."

Also, she doesn't beat around the bush, so at least you'd know you'd get a straight answer :raritywink:

Blueblood: "All right... She is going to the Grand Galloping Gala, correct?"

And suddenly, him trying to shake off Rarity at every corner makes perfect sense :rainbowlaugh:

I like this Blueblood. Kinda want to see more of him in the actual story :moustache:


Shepherd: nods "Sounds like you've been keeping this inside for a long time."

...is that title a pun on blue balls? :facehoof:

It was Triptych that introduced me to the concept of Applejack being nobility. This is still one of my favorite ideas that never came up in the show. And it makes so much sense in-universe! I need more stories that incorporate this, whether for humor or drama.

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