TTISI: Payday 2 · 2:45pm Aug 11th, 2020
Okay, so, I got this game a long time ago, when it was on the 360. However, I completely hated it at first because I thought the controls were wack. DOUBLE HOWEVER, I saw The Russian Badger’s video on it recently, and I was like: Damn, I don’t remember it being that fun. So, I got it again, and started playing, and holy shit is it fun.
BeeP
Me, with a blue mask with a yellow skeletal smile on it, decked out with a light vest, a Tommy Gun (Chicago Typewriter), akimbo white streaks, and going with a rogue deck: I seriously don’t remember having this much fun.
BeeP
Bain: Okay, you got one van, get the other.
Me, playing Vlad’s California mission on Very Hard: Got it.
BeeP
Bain: Remember, get the other van.
Me: Where the fuck is it!?
BeeP
Me: I can’t find the- *hears vulululululu* What the fuck-
Cloaker: *comes out of fucking nowhere and drop kicks my face* CRY HARDER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!
Me, getting beaten by his baton: Ah! Fuck! Ow! Shit! Wolf! Fuck- Dallas!
Cloaker: REMEMBER, THE SAFE WORD IS POLICE BRUTALITY!!!
Me: POLICE BRUTALITY!!!
BeeP
This shit is so heavy, I can’t jump. The fuck are in these things?
BeeP
Not gonna lie, this music (Razormind) be jammin’ though.
BeeP
Me: OKAY!!! I finally found the- *vulululululu* Oh FUCK-
Cloaker: *comes out of a sewer grate and somersaults before slamming his foot against my jaw* YOU CALL THIS RESISTING ARREST!?!? WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTY TWEAK!!!
Me: NOT AGAIN!!!
Cloaker: HOW ABOUT YOU GO TO THE FORUMS, AND CRY LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE!!!
BeeP
*mission ends* Okay, straight up, my favorite enemy is the Cloaker. They are literally ninjas with vendettas! Like, I know Badger talked about them, but holy fuck they are amazing.
BeeP
Hector: I want you to take out a bus of gangsters, but first, we need to cook drugs to find out where they are.
Me: Okay.
BeeP
Me: *gets ingredients*
Bain: Okay, I’m gonna talk you through this. First step: add *ingredient, I can’t remember the name*
Me: *adds it*
Bain: WAIT, THAT WAS WRONG!!!
Me: Oh you sonova- *the lab bursts into flames*
BeeP
Bain: Okay, add *ingredient*
Me:...
Bain: Wait! You didn’t add it right?
Me: With your bullshit, no.
Bain: Sorry, these websites are a bit iffy.
Me: Is he looking up how to make drugs on fuckin’ Wiki-How?!
Beep
Tazer: I’m the fuckin’ Spark man!
Me: *headshots him* Now you’re a fuckin’ dead man!
BeeP
Bain: Okay, remember, we don’t want to start any trouble with them, so calmly give them the drugs, and they’ll give you the info.
Me: A’ight. *gives gangsters drugs*
Gangster: Cool, you’ll find the info in the second floor of this building.
Me:... *makes sure Tommy gun is loaded before I start calmly walking* ... *passes several gangster, all of which are eyeing me*... I don’t like this... *climbs stairs until I find the info* Alright- *fuckin’ sprints all the way back* fuuuuck this, let’s go.
BeeP
*after we trapped the bus on a bridge and took out a bunch of gangsters, we await for the helicopter to arrive, as well as a helicopter to come and pick up the bag of cash we stole*
Me: Fuck this shiiiit! *shoots off some rounds, catching several guys in the head* God I love this gun!
*helicopters arrive. I see one of them awaits next to the bridge, where I have to throw the bag across* Me: Finally! *throws the bag... it misses and falls into the water below*.... ARE YOU FUCKING-
BeeP
Bain: Nice job guys!
Me: Oh shut up.
Ah, I see you too are a fan of the Russian Badger!
Huzzah, a memer of quality!
5333525
Yep, he also got me to play it again too.