Short Hand: The Dark Emperor Shepherd 8 · 6:45pm Aug 8th, 2020
Shining Armor slowly came to, and took quick notes on his situation: His horn had a magic resistant ring around it, he was tied up, and he was sitting in a chair. No doubt he was about to be interrogated and tortured by the Evil Dark Emperor Shepherd.
Shepherd: "Oh hey, he's coming around!"
He opened his eyes to deliver a spirited declaration that he would never break and Long Live Celestia and Luna... And his declaration stalled out as he perceived his surroundings.
Shining: "... What?!"
His sister and her friends, Spike, Cadence, and the Dark Emperor were sitting around a table with O&O figurines and boards set up, along with dice. They were in the Royal Canterlot Palace's gardens. A big manticore that hung around Shepherd a lot was playing with three fillies in the flowerbeds nearby. At the head of the table, Discord was acting as DM.
Discord: "Galstaff, you are confronted with the armored shotgun orcs! What will you do?"
Shepherd: "I cast Magic Hellfire Missile." rolls
Discord: "Ooh! 18! You do considerable damage and they have to file for an insurance claim!"
Shining: "What the Tartarus is going on?!"
Dash: "Oh hey. We're playing this nerd game to decide who gets Equestria. Since the 'Dark Emperor' doesn't want to risk damaging the city. Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike and Pinkie have defected to his team to make things fair."
Discord: "All right! Rarity! The Pudding Tentacle Monster wishes to extract your precious juices!"
Rarity: "Let's see... I will mug him!" Roll
Discord: "Ah! A 10! You do five points of damage, and you get a fetching pair of Ruby Slippers with plus 10 to sneaking!"
Applejack: "How in tarnation can you sneak in Ruby Slippers?"
Rarity: "Oh, it's actually quite simple. Here, watch!" She gets the Ruby slippers from Discord, and proceeds to gallop around in them quietly "Just takes finesse!"
Shining: "You can't be serious."
Shepherd: "Hey, I told you the truth but you didn't believe me!"
Twilight: "So did I!"
Cadence: "As did I."
Shining: "I just-How on Equus could the sisters be so irresponsible?!"
Shepherd: "You have met them, right?"
Shining: "... Well-"
Cadence: "I mean, there was the time Auntie left a plushy version of herself in Day Court and nopony noticed for four hours."
Shining: "It was very convincing!"
Twilight: "And the time she had an army of aged veterans assault the kitchen to end her diet."
Shining: "It was a good combat exercise?"
Shepherd: "And the time Luna hunted down a gamer who insulted her over Neighstation Network with a lightning spear."
Shining: "... That was probably going overboard." sigh "All right. Where do we go from here?"
Shepherd: "In one week, you defeat me in an epic battle, 'free' me from my evil spirits, and Luna and Celestia go back to work."
Dash: "And then we get them back for this."
Discord: "Come on, come on! Revenge later, roll the dice now!" huff "I'm not sure I like being ignored!"
Fluttershy: "We're sorry Discord! And I'm not ignoring you! In fact, I want you at our Evil Wedding!"
Discord: "As Minister?"
Shepherd: "Well, it is an evil wedding... And you're not ordained."
Fluttershy: low whisper "Don't worry, I'll fix that soon."
Shepherd: "What was that, Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy: "Um, n-nothing!"
Twilight: leans in to Discord "I'll get you Celestia's diary if you marry me to Shepherd instead of Fluttershy."
Cadence: telepathically "I'll get you both their secret diaries if you marry Shepherd to all of them at once."
Discord: chuckles "Honestly, turning good was the best decision I ever made! Now then, who's next?"
*cackles*
Oh my~!
Yes....Good....
I still hope and pray A Slice of Life will someday be completed.
Also, Princesses Don't Potty.
(harem ending intensifies)
Shepard: *seeing so many mare at his wedding* *chuckles* iam in danger
Processing to part 9
I like the way you think Candy Cane. Get Celestia in there just for kicks. She'd probably roll with it rather than get upset and attempt divorce though.
I love that Cadance here is all "just end the farce already"