• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts342

  • Wednesday
    Weekend Break

    Writing up three chapters last week was rather draining, so to avoid burn out I'm going to take a break this weekend.

    4 comments · 53 views
  • Monday
    Short Hand: New Dad Shepherd 1

    Button Mash and Shepherd are playing a fighting game in the young colt's room.

    Shepherd: "Ha! Combos upon combos!"

    Button: "Urgh! Take this!"

    Shepherd: "Weak! Foalish foal! You are but the learner, I am the master."

    Console: Game Over! Player 2 wins!

    Button groans.

    Button: "How'd you do that?"

    Read More

    11 comments · 403 views
  • Sunday
    Short Hand: Foalsitting

    Shining: "Shepherd? I need a foalsitter."

    Shepherd: sighs "Shining, dude. Please tell me you didn't bring me all the way here to the Crystal Empire just to babysit the toddler goddess."

    Shining: "Not... Just that."

    Shepherd: "Shining-"

    Shining: "Please? You are literally the only sitter she likes! Or won't turn inside out with magic!"

    Read More

    14 comments · 351 views
  • Saturday
    Plot Bunny Theater: Alicorn Life Cycle

    Twilight: Teleports right into Celestia's bedroom "LUNA WHAT THE BUCK IS GOING ON?! YOU TOLD ME CELESTIA IS DEAD?! HOW?! WHY?! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

    Luna: "Oh! Hello Twilight Sparkle. Yes, our sister has died."

    A little filly alicorn with pink hair is on the bed.

    Luna: "There she is."

    Twilight: "..." Twilight .exe has failed

    Read More

    25 comments · 404 views
  • Saturday
    Short Hand: Blue Apples 2

    Shepherd: "I mean Blueblood, there are worse ways to try and woo the one you love."

    Blueblood: "Oh?"

    Shepherd: "I mean it's not like you traveled to Sweet Apple Acres and tried to act like a hillbilly to get her favor."

    Blueblood: *laughing uncomfortably* "Of course! Alabama! What kind of fool do you think I am?"

    Princess Celestia enters, her face threatening to break into a grin.

    Read More

    9 comments · 297 views

Short Hand: The Price · 8:26pm August 6th

Weeks after the dramatic battle with the Deer... And Ponyville was back to normal... Shepherd was walking around, taking a day off. He headed up to Filthy Rich's store to do some shopping... When he saw them. His eyes widened as the Cutie Mark Crusaders happily bouncing out of the store.

Shepherd: "Huh. Hey girls!"

Applebloom: "Oh! Howdy Shepherd! Look what we got!"

Sweetie Belle: "They're on sale today!"

Scootloo: "And look totally awesome!"

Shepherd: "Oh? What do you have-?!"

It was an action figure of himself in battle armor with a cape riding a fearsome-looking Chewie. He was also wielding a sword.

Sweetie Belle: "Isn't it great? It has real kung fu stabbing action!"

Scootaloo: "And it has ten unique phrases!" She pulls a string on the back

Shepherd Action Figure: "Hello, this is Ser Shepherd! And this is my favorite store in Equestria!"

Shepherd: "..." *Takes a deep breath, and picks up an action figure* "Excuse me for a second."

Shepherd stalks into the store, and heads right to Filthy Rich's office. He throws the door open.

Shepherd: "FILTHY RICH." He held up the action figure "EXPLAIN. NOW."

Filthy Rich: smiles nervously "Now Shepherd, I understand you might be unhappy. But in this case, I'm just selling the action figures! I didn't make them! Though I did invest in the company that is making them. Good thing too! They're already in the Fortune 1000 for Equus and their stock just keeps going up-!"


Filthy Rich: Gulp

Meanwhile, in Canterlot...

Luna: "Sister, you did inform Shepherd that by becoming a knight of Equestria, his image can be marketed and he gets 10 percent of the profits?"

Celestia: "Of course I did!"

Luna: "Oh good!" Carries her Andrew Shepherd Body Pillow with her "I will see you this evening!"

Celestia: "Pleasant dreams, my sister~!"

Luna: "Oh, they will be..."

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Comments ( 12 )

Hello, this is Ser Shepherd! And this is my favorite store in Equestria!

Some things are obligatory.

Shepherd Action Figure: "Hello, this is Ser Shepherd! And this is my favorite store in Equestria!"

I would totally take that toy into whatever Barnyard Bargains competitor is.

"Cool, so I get a cut of your profits. Still beating the horseapples out of you for not asking first."

(This goes double for the body pillow, or whatever multiplier is appropriate for going from disciplinary brutality to actual murder)

I fully agreed even before I noticed that he had the right surname for it.

I can imagine one of his lines being "Be sure to buy all my accessories or Equestria is doomed"

I wonder what Shepards reaction would be If the entire mane six had a body pillow of him.

A shrug of inevitability?

Wouldn't that be better for the dolls, er, action figures of the Mane Six?

Comment posted by Ardashir deleted August 7th

Shepherd storms out of the store, with only a pause to nod at the minotaur guarding the front. "Wrex", he says, by way of greeting.

"Shepherd", the minotaur replies, with a nod of his own.

Joke would work better with a diamond dog.

Named "Rex", of course.

Luna: "Sister, you did inform Shepherd that by becoming a knight of Equestria, his image can be marketed and he gets 10 percent of the profits?"

They'll make a killing with the Shepherd Intimacy Kit. Replica hands and other various things. You know Twilight somehow took castings because it's Twilight.

Whaddaya mean "if"?

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