• Member Since 9th Sep, 2016
  • offline last seen March 20th

spike the lone wanderer


Just a lonely dragon walking to his next adventures.

More Blog Posts107

  • 16 weeks
    Facts with Spike: Turkey edition

    Spike Drake was in a classroom, wearing a brown three-piece suit with glasses, he was speaking to a group of children about the magnificent Turkey bird, '' The Ottoman Empire was one of the most powerful and fearsome empires of all time and...What do you mean by Turkey, not Turkey? Oh you mean the bird, not the country of kebabs and tea! Well, I guess I need to inform Mr.Illitch

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    1 comments · 52 views
  • 21 weeks
    Spooky facts with Spike II: The season of the spooky dick!

    Spike Drake was sitting at his parent's kitchen table, he was sewing two pieces of pink fabric in order to turn it into a lovely dress for his niece, '' Oh hello buddy! Look like you are finally here, it's nice to see you so soon at this time of the year...Nah I'm joking what the fuck are you doing at my parent's house? What am I doing? Can't you see I'm being a great uncle for the

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    1 comments · 56 views
  • 38 weeks
    Happy British Colonies Days

    Ponyville was experiencing one of the most important days in the kingdom's history, Independence Day. Equestria was for a long time ruled by dragons and their tyrannical king, George William Frederick Dragoon Lagoon the Third. For the occasion, The girls were dressed in colonial-era clothes, simple brown dresses while Twilight, Celestia, and Luna spent a quarter of the kingdom's budget on

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    5 comments · 74 views
  • 65 weeks
    Facts with Spike II: Electric Boogaloo

    Spike was sitting in his brown leather chair reading A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

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    3 comments · 115 views
  • 73 weeks
    Facts with Spike

    Spike was sitting in his brown leather chair reading The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving,

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    4 comments · 131 views
Aug
4th
2020

Cooking is cool...pussy! · 4:27pm Aug 4th, 2020

In the quiet rich town of Canterlot, everything was going as usual, birds were singing, children were playing on the road without any parents to look after them. Everything was calm when suddenly a bitch ass angry Dragon came out of Princess purple Manor:

''FUCK OFF YOU STUPID CUNTS! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO COOK YOU BITCHES!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA!!'' Spike Drake ran away while crying like a small child.

Ten minutes earlier

The Mane Six, including Spike and his friend Fallout, were gathered in Twilight's pleasure room for a tea party. They were gossiping about the late rumors in the kingdom

''Haven't you heard Darling? Apparently Fleur de Lis cheated on her husband!''

''Really? I thought it was Mr. Cake who was dippin' his biscuit into someone else milk cup!''

''I'm pretty sure that Shinning's brat is not his daughter! This dumb fuck still believe that babies come from roses and cabbages!''

''You're talking about my brother, Rainbow! Better watch your peasant mouth!''

''What was that, egghead!''

''Try me bitch!''

Rainbow and Twilight were on the edge of war when they were interrupted by the sound of the Television

" Do you love the smell of melting butter in a pan? Are you fond of the view of boiling water? Do you love to DEEP meatballs in some Barbecue sauce? ''

''Yes!''

'' Then you pasta-loving son of bitches you are going to love the next cooking show named ''COME DINE WITH ME!''

'' Pff! Everypony can cook! Even my stupid ass friend living in his mom's basement! Even I can cook, right girls?!''

The girls looked at him and laughed their asses off

''AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!'

''Silly Spike!''

''I'm sorry darling, but you and your people don't know the art of the cuisine!''

''It's quite true Partner! Yesterday you've opened a can of ravioli and gulped it in your throat without even chewin' it!''

''Im pretty sure you don't even know what is a beef Wellington or a risotto!''

''You're a dragon! That's all I have to say!''

''I saw you put some salt on your crips! who put salt on already salted crisps?!''

'' Your chicken was kinda dry, really dry!''

Spike tried to fight back the tears in his eyes, but just like everything he undertakes, he failed miserably:

''FUCK ALL OF YOU!'' He ran down the hall, giving fingers to his friends, ''I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S THE KING OF THE CUISINE IN COME DINE WITH ME! I'LL PARTICIPATE AND WIN THE SHOW YOU FUCKERS! WAAAAAAAA!!!''

The room was silent until Fallout opened his mouth,

''That was not very nice of you, girls!''

''Relax Pepsi Cola! He has no chance of being chosen to participate in the show! ''

Meanwhile downtown

Music was heard in the city center, this music came from the podium installed to inaugurate the brand new program. In its center, there is an urn where everyone could write their name on a piece of paper.

"Come on, come everyone register, registration will be closed soon! Even children can register and ...

"Let me pass you bitches!''

''What the-''

Spike took the guy by the throat and screamed.

"LET ME IN! LET ME INNNNNNN!"

''Get the fuck out of me!''

''I WANNA BE THE NEXT KING OF CUISINE!!!''

Comments ( 3 )

5329025
I’m ok I missed ya man! How ya been

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