Short Hand: The Dark Emperor Shepherd 5 · 2:35pm Aug 3rd, 2020
After tea and snacks have been handed out to everyone...
Twilight: "... You're telling me that the princesses deliberately faked their kidnapping and banishment and you going evil?!"
Shepherd: "You sound like me when they told me the plan."
Twilight: "All of this just so they could have a vacation?!"
Shepherd: "Now before you twilight out, Twilight, hear me out."
Twilight: "You made me into a verb?!"
Pinkie: "Ooh! It can also be an adverb! Neato!"
Dash: "Who cares?! Have the Princesses gone crazy?!"
Applejack: "Ah know! Jest up and leavin' their responsibilities like this?"
Shepherd: "Again, again! To be fair, Celestia has been running Equestria all by herself for the last thousand years, and Luna was possessed by pure evil and trapped in the moon. Also for the last thousand years. I think if anypony needs a vacation, it'd be them."
Twilight: "But-But Equestria being taken over! It could cause a civil war!"
Blueblood: "Actually most of the citizenry are adapting. We've told them we're humoring the "Dark Emperor' until the Elements of Harmony finish him off."
Shepherd: "There, see? Everything will be fine."
Fancypants: "Of course, now there's another problem. Many of the Dark Emperor's reforms have proven extremely popular, and the fact he has helped save the world a few times means a large number of ponies are fine with his coup."
Shepherd and Twilight: "Say what?"
Blueblood: "Well... How shall I put this? Many ponies are rather disillusioned with Auntie's performance in protecting Equestria as of late."
Twilight: "How could they-That's completely-!"
Rarity: "Well... To be fair, darling, I mean... Chrysalis did take her down."
Dash: "With one hit even!"
Twilight: "That's not fair! Princess Celestia is so powerful but she doesn't get any chances to really train! So she can either be at a low level of combat power, or at full! And at full, she would obliterate Canterlot along with the invaders!"
Applejack: "Still don't explain why Princess Luna wasn't helpin' during the invasion."
Shepherd: "She was outside the shield with the reinforcements since she had a 'bad feeling about this'."
Twilight: "Oh, right. Even so! What if the Ponies prefer having Dark Emperor Shepherd to the Princesses?! You know what that means?!"
Shepherd: "It means... I have to keep doing this stupid job and wearing LEATHER?!"
Rarity: "Oh yes, whoever cut that jacket made it far too wide in the shoulders!"
Shepherd: "Okay, I don't care about how long I agreed to let the princesses relax! You are defeating me and freeing me from evil, right now!"
Blueblood: "Look Shepherd, just two weeks! Just two!"
Fancypants: "Surely a full two weeks of vacation is worth it to them? They so need it!"
Rarity: "If any pony deserves a vacation, they do!"
Applejack: "Well... Ah mean, ah don't like the deception... But ah can see why."
Twilight: "So, how exactly do we explain that we got into here to fight Dark Emperor Shepherd and save him from evil... And now we're having tea?!"
Pinkie: "... I HAVE AN IDEA!"
Dash: "Oh good. Pinkie has an idea."
PInkie: "It's very good!" *Tears at the corners of her eyes*
Fluttershy: "Rainbow Dash! That was so mean!"
Dash: "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! What's the idea?"
Outside, Later...
Dark Emperor Shepherd: With a full cape, of course, and an evil looking helmet "Twilight Sparkle! You and your incredibly sexy friends could fight me in Canterlot! You might even win! But we would destroy Canterlot!"
Twilight: "Yes, I must agree! Therefore, we must decide the fate of our country and the battle of good versus evil in another way!"
Shepherd: "I also agree! I, Dark Emperor Shepherd, say we decide this via contest of wits and will!"
Twilight: "Yes!"
Shepherd: "But I decide the contest, thanks to my lovely new Dark Empress!"
Fluttershy: "U-Um... Oh, hello everypony."
Twilight: *Hissed* "Fluttershy! What are you doing?! You're not supposed to be the Dark Empress yet!"
Pinkie: *Whisper* "Come on, roll with it! It's improv! Just move on!" Louder "Fluttershy! How could you betray us like that?!"
Fluttershy: "Oh, I'm sorry. I hope we can all join the side of Dark Emperor Shepherd. My... My wonderful Shepherd who..." blushes "Who takes me in a-a manly way every-every night! With kissing, and-and nuzzling, and-and-and hoof holding! Oh!"
Applejack: "You lewd monster! Have ya no shame?!"
Shepherd: low voice to Blueblood "You did tell her we didn't actually get married, right?"
Blueblood: "Of course not! The Dark Royal Wedding isn't until next week!"
Shepherd: "Oh. Wait what?"
Pinkie: Hiss "Shepherd!"
Shepherd: "RIGHT! I choose the form of the contest! And I choose... Ogres and Oubliettes! Version 3! Here is your character creation sheets, get started!"
Twilight: "Who will be the Dungeon Master in such a contest? It has to be a neutral party!"
Shepherd: "All right, all right, we'll get a neutral DM. In the meantime, let us go over the rule book and make sure you all understand how it goes."
Dash: "Can't we just fight to the death? Or better yet-Skip ahead to dying?"
Applejack: "Ah second that."
Fluttershy: "Please give it a chance, everypony?"
Rarity: *sighs* "As long as I can design the character outfits, I'll be fine."
Twilight: *groans* "Princess Celestia and Luna had better be appreciating all that we're doing for them..."
Shepherd: "Tell me about it."
Elsewhere... On a beach in Acoltpoco...
Celestia: In a sexy swimsuit, enjoying the sunshine, drinking a margarita and eyeing some stallions working out nearby "Ahhh... Isn't this the life, Luna?"
Luna: In equally sexy swimsuit, doing a crossword, drinking wine and looking at the sexy stallions only slightly more often than Celestia "Tis, sister. You were right! Going out to see the world in a vacation was a wonderful idea. Art thou sure Shepherd can handle it?"
Celestia: "I'm absolutely sure he can. We told the Prime Minister, the Joint Chiefs, the heads of the noble families-They'll all help maintain the illusion."
Luna: "Didst you also tell Princess Cadence and Shining Armor?"
Celestia: "..."
Luna: "... Sisterrrr..."
Celestia: "... Whoops?"
- - -
We do need an adjectival form first, unless we go for "twilightingly." Which, to ne fair, sound better than "twilitly."
And remember, everyone, you don't say "No" in improv. You say "Yes, and" or "Yes, but."
Stars damn it, Celestia.
I look forward to the Dark Wedding
Oh here we go.
I miss Hands. I look forward to when you finally write the new one out. Or at least when you archive all of these shorts into an ordered colletion.
5328123
Um, I have. Check out my story "Short Hand".
5328282
loud sound of flesh impacting flesh Well... I have been informed thusly.
Part 6 is coming bois
I hope he took the opportunity to round up all of the royal guards with ceremonial brass experience and line them up on the castle ramparts with a rendition of the Imperial March followed by him giving a speech evoking Hamlet Act 4 Scene 4 to the ponies down below to establish his cred.