Craving and will · 1:25am Aug 3rd, 2020
When I try to understand my own motivations, I generally break them down into two buckets: cravings and values. Cravings are the natural motivations, and values are the ones pulled along by conscious force.
Celestia: I love you, sister. Equestria depends on me.
Twilight: I will not let Celestia down. I want to be with my friends.
Sunset: I want redemption. I’m just a whisper of my soul. [1]
A lot of my favorite stories are about the dissonance, the violent collisions, and (hopefully) the eventual resolution of cravings and values.
Maybe there’s something here worth investigating.
We have a lot of tools now to investigate abstract concepts. What’s the space of motivations? How can they change, and what distinguishes them? What fuels motivations, and how are they connected to one another? What observations do you associate with motivations, and what do those observations suggest about what’s fundamental to them?
I could explore these questions for hours, but right now I want to add one last tool to the list. This one is designed to answer the following question: what compels them to resolution?
What can a story do to resolve inner conflicts? What should you seek out when your own motivations are in conflict? I think these two questions have the same answer. The problem of resolving motivations feels important in a way unlike anything else, and the fight between cravings and values— a disconnect between conscious and subconscious desires— feels fundamental in a way unlike anything else. I imagine that’s why stories dealing with them come with such a strong pull.
I think of these resolution-forcing events as catastrophes, in connection to catastrophe theory. Catastrophe theory deals with bifurcation points, which are points where one thing splits into two or, seen backwards, where two things merge into one. This captures intuitive notions of things popping into existence or of things being unified. As I think of them, catastrophes are neither good nor bad. They’re just big, things-will-never-be-the-same changes.
What triggers these changes?
A shift in perspective.
Hopelessness gives way to a hidden path. You’re forced to make an impossible decision, and as your world goes up in flames, so too do the barriers that forced your hand. What was it that really held you back?
I’ve lived my dreams; all that’s left is to awaken. I’ve fought too hard to let the memories fade.
Overwhelming impulse.
Suddenly you find yourself confronted by a force too great to ignore. The remnants of your past flare up for one last stand, and the vision they inspire is more beautiful than anything you could have imagined. Isn’t that worth living for?
I will do what it takes to nurture the ponies in my realm. I will not be ignored.
A surprising discovery.
For years you’ve fought the urge, wielding memories of how badly they’ve led you astray. But now there’s a bridge to a new world, and in it lies answers you never thought you’d get.
I have a duty to my students now. I should be so much more than this.
Judgement with gravity.
You finally catch a break and a moment’s lucidity. You look over the ponies that helped you in your journey and the many victims along the way. In their eyes, you see your own reflection, and behind their eyes the mare they wish you were. Perhaps what you want to be is not what you need to be.
“You said I wasn’t the kind of pony you were expecting when you heard I was the Princess's student. Was that because you knew Twilight?” Yes. “Was she a hero? I mean… a good pony.” Yes.
- GaPJaxie, Siren Song
I will be worthy. You won't change what I know is best.
That’s the last of the “fundamental tools” as I think of them. Now that I’ve gotten these out of the way, I feel like I have a pretty solid base to write about a bunch of things. I’m not sure right now what I’ll write about next because every time I write a post, I come up with too many more ideas on things to write about. If you have a topic preference, let me know. I think for now I'll stick with either understanding stories, understanding friendships, or understanding (fan) communities. I can’t make promises on the quality of the output, but I’ll at least take the chance to practice applying ideas across domains.
The space of motivations feels related to the space of emotions. Motivations are distinguished by the kinds of resolutions that would satisfy them. Motivations are fueled by corroborating or exacerbating evidence, except when piling evidence makes a thing feel hopeless or inevitable, and they’re fueled by a strengthening sense of the role one ought to play. Motivations connect to one another to the extent that they push people to similar-enough outcomes or beliefs. I naturally associate stories with motivations, which suggests that motivations are determined in large part by the way people frame their situation.
Those half-baked thoughts are a little vague, and they would need to be expanded, clarified, and corrected a hundred times over, but they seem like reasonable footholds for a thorough investigation.
I'm not sure I've had time to fully digest this at the moment, but interesting; thanks. :)
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Thanks for reading! I think my post was a bit too terse, and it probably gives to little context for the stories it references. I'll try to fix that in future posts.
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Well, I was also tired and in a bit of a hurry at the time, if that helps. But in the absence of other comments so far, I don't know how much was that (with that including not going back and reading linked blogs that posted before I followed you), so good luck on making those improvements. :)
Oh, and you're welcome; thanks for writing. :)
(Oh, yes, and if it wasn't clear, I also find your first comment, the one before mine, interesting, not just the blog post.)
Learning psychological and philosophy, the former born of the latter, is depth found in characters and storytelling. It's good to the surface to each concisely broken down like this.
Keep up the good work!
~ Yr. Pal, B