Hap Reviews: Contest Entries 10 · 7:58pm Aug 1st, 2020
Hello. We're still waiting on results for the shipping contest, so I thought it'd be interesting to go back one and return to some from the Imposing Sovereigns II contest that I had previously missed, as well as one from another contest I participated in last-minute with this story. It tied for third place, by the way (pretty good going for three hours work). Both of today's stories are pretty good, so I'd recommend you check them out if they sound like they're your deal.
On with the stories.
I was sent to this story after chatting with the writer on discord whilst talking about the Imposing Sovereigns II contest that I participated in and did a few reviews for a while ago. I frankly didn't go into it with any expectations, since I was really just looking for an excuse to read and hopefully review a story. This one in particular is about an Equestria in the far future (or rather, not about Equestria exactly since they're in space now) and the advent of some kind of magical technology that gives it a more sci-fi vibe than the original fantasy.
The story in question is a bit more about reconnecting with old magic, though, which is a pretty fun vibe. The story itself is about Luna, who is (as usual) struggling with 'the Nightmare', which I confess is a bit standard (I've seen plenty of stories about Luna struggling with the 'Nightmare' or the 'Darkness' or whatever they want to call it, either physically or internally or both), though the way the whole deal is contextualised into this world filled with ponies being turned into machines and this big spaceship rebellion is pretty cool. I wouldn't have minded something to hold my attention a bit more in terms of the Nightmare, personally, but it's okay and does its job.
The way it's written is pretty nice, too. It has a bit of a dreamy quality to it that I dig. It can sometimes get a bit 'floaty' in the sense that it can be difficult to get a real firm grasp on the environment and surroundings, but considering the circumstances I think that kind of adds to the vibe.
I think it's also well paced. It has a tangible conflict and high stakes, which is neatly tied up in about, what, 11K words? That's really good. It's not just a concept piece and doesn't just rely on its premise and dreamlike writing; it also can fall back on a proper obstacle for the protagonist to overcome which is not only appealing but pretty necessary in my eyes once a story gets too far past the 6K word mark.
Who would like this? Well, the obvious answer is anyone who is into sci-fi or space opera, but the story is written well enough that I'd probably be happy recommending anyone who also enjoys Luna and more OC heavy adventure-lite stories too without any real trouble.
This story was posted to the Role Swap contest, and drew my attention because, well, I helped edit it in about thirty minutes before it (along with my own story) got posted minutes before the deadline. It's really short, and I would describe it as largely being a concept piece that explores a possible premise without going too deep into it, but unlike others of its kind, it does have stakes and a conflict that is both explicit and inferred.
The story clocks in at 1.5K words, which is really tight. It's about an alternate version of events where Spitfire becomes an adventure instead of Daring Do, who takes Spitfire's career path instead. The story leans a little on this alternate universe and explores through implication carried by a little exposition (through dialogue) how each character goes down these different paths whilst retaining some elements of their original lifestyles and personalities. It's pretty neat. The conflict centres around, essentially, a lack of trust between the two following events preceding the story. Again, a lot of this is inferred, but the events leading up to the scene is more explicitly told in part.
It's hard to critique the story knowing the time restraints in which it was written, but the resolution I think could have done with being built upon more, but within the confines of the limitations presented I'm not really sure what to suggest other than potentially returning to the story later. It is what it is and is built realistically on the scene preceding it though.
Ultimately it's tight and compact, which are things I enjoy very much, and packs a lot into its short word-count.
Who would enjoy this? As a very short story, quite frankly I think anyone can pick this up without being worried about sinking too much time into something they wouldn't enjoy, but in particular, it'll work nicely for folks who get a kick out of looking at alternate universes. It's dialogue heavy too and fairly dramatic, so if those are things you enjoy I'd recommend checking it out for that too.
That'll be all from me today. I hope to see folks soon. Good luck!
