• Member Since 24th Feb, 2020
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


All that exists in me is everlasting moo

More Blog Posts1325

  • 30 weeks
    It is done

    Traditional version before I make it shitty for the memes

    ”Quit poking me with that shit!”

    ”Get offa me then!”

    18 comments · 65 views
  • 30 weeks
    I need to be way more present on this account tbh

    I keep getting startled by my profile picture on here because I forget that this is also my account. I spend a shit ton of time on my Alt. But I am thinking of transferring some of my stories onto my other account as well!

    Read More

    16 comments · 59 views
  • 39 weeks
    Another profile change because I have no life

    Apparently the name “Griffy” is already taken, so—

    4 comments · 66 views
  • 41 weeks
    Nom nom

    Griff is biscuit

    8 comments · 65 views
  • 46 weeks
    No one:

    Blu when his friends are posting like nine vent blogs about one drama:

    10 comments · 108 views

Animal Control Is Annoying · 9:33pm Jul 26th, 2020

”Hey, Saturn~”

(Saturn aggressively sips her tea in order to self consciously ignore him and hide her burning blush...)





(Passion nips her ear, then whispers...)

You’re gay.

(Saturn huffs, then punches Passion in the shoulder...)

”I’m only a third gay, you whore!”


”Ma’am, is this stray dog bothering you...?”



(Saturn slowly backs away from the five Animal Control Officers with at least five neck restrainers around Passion’s neck...)

Report ItsGriffy · 183 views · #Passion Fruit #Saturn
Comments ( 53 )

What the fuck-?

Welp, this sucks. I helped out the last few times, someone else take a turn.



*sitting in a cage* “I’m just as confused as you are.”

Oh great...

Don't worry, I'll handle it.

But why would they do this? Did Saturn...

”No. If she wanted to, she’d ask me first. Plus, she’s currently trying to see if she could get me out of here.”


You want me to help Saturn get you out?

Let’s hope she knows how to break cages then.


*Zeika walks in, carrying a few forms*
No need, I got it taken care of.

Zeika, what did you do?

I may or may not have adopted him to get him out.

God fucking damnit.

”Thatd be great, thanks...”


Too late, apparently...

I mean, if Zeika already got him out...not saying it was the best way to get him out but she did...


”I’m... flattered?”


”Whatever works, I guess...”

If these guys were dead set on treating him like a dog, then why not play along with them? Plus it'll help with any future problems, seeing as he isn't a stray anymore. Not that he was one to begin with. He just needs to wear a collar or bracelet thing from now on.

I hate the fact that her logic is sound.


I hate the fact that now he needs to be treated like an animal...though maybe if you make the collar look more like a necklace...


”Is... is it bad that I’m okay with this...?”

Er...well, it's not the weirdest thing I've heard...

That was one of the few designs I was going to suggest be made. Like military dog tags or something of the like. I don't like treating him like an animal either, main reason why I keep putting aesthetic in Oculus' drinks when he's not looking.

Ah. Yeah, can't fault you for the Oculus thing.

”You what?!”

Isn’t there another way though?

Hm...well...I mean, maybe if she was proven to be unsuitable for caring for an animal, they'd stop the adoption...then we could just break him out of the cage


What? Just be glad I'm putting him to sleep and not poisoning him or killing him outright. Cause I've had ample opportunities to do so.

And for some reason it’s considered “vile” when Oculus does that crap.

Never said it wasn't, plus he's not a trained assassin now, is he?


”Well, at least when he does it, he somehow prevents me from doing something stupid.”

Oh hush, you've done nothing stupid as of late. *starts stroking his head* Reckless maybe, but stupid? No. You can't help certain things and your mutation is just that.

(Passion sighs as he lays down by the cage door...)

”Apparently my existence is so ‘reckless’ they literally called me a stray dog. That’s insulting.”

”At least they didn’t call you a bitch.”

That would be misgendering him, wouldn’t it?


”No matter what it is, it’s insulting.”

True, now be patient, here comes the idiot who locked you up.

*the animal control pony unlocks the cage and opens the door*

Dude, I don't know what you've done, but I haven't seen her act this motherly since she... lost... everything...

(Passion cocks his head...)

”Lost what?”

I don't think-

Just tell them, he'd find out eventually.

Alright sit down, it's story time. Zeika was once a Queen. Her brood were her loyal subjects and she was kind and fair, albeit young. Exact opposite of Chrysalis. She tried making peace with the ponies after Chrysalis' invasion. Big mistake as she was fatally wounded upon entry to her court and her hive burned down from a solar flare from Celestia herself in a vote that was 2-1. Luna took pity that her niece and sister were unwilling to hear her out and act so violently, so she nursed her back to health amd trained her to be an assassin in her Lunar Guard. Few years after that, Ol' Sunbutt found out and tried Luna for treason. She killed Celestia and died doing so, which is how I found her. She honed her skills and learned medicine. She's never fully recovered from that. I think you've somehow helped her move on.

”Oh... suddenly, I... I feel like a dick for asking...”

It's a-alright. You couldn't have known. *she buries her face in her hooves and begins crying*

It's actually why she's never reformed. She literally can't.

(Passion shuffles awkwardly out of the cage and wraps her in a hug...)

”Hey, it’s alright...”

*she forcefully returns the hug, crying into Passion's neck*

”Shhh, shh... it’s okay...”

I-I know... I've p-personally seen their souls to rest... I-I just wish there was something else I could've done other than say s-sorry and pass them on. *she forcefully grips Passion, bringing him closer into the hug* I g-gave them the location of my Hive cause I thought they were gonna e-escort me home and out of their lands. I-instead I-I doomed my children to death... *she continues sobbing*

”It’s okay, you didn’t mean any harm...”

Heh, t-thats what they all said as they passed on... All 2,359 of them. *she lets go of Passion and wipes a tear from her eyes* A-anyway, we didn't all get together to hear my sob story. We came to get you out of here. *She hands him the forms* Thats your get out of jail free card. And this- *she hands him a crystal, giving off an evil purple glow* is your key to the house. I've got some things to do. Later. *she teleports out of the place*

Wow, never seen her open up like that. You need to stick around Passion, you've done more for her than I could.

”Heh... I can see that. I think she’s grown on me.”

Good, wouldn't want roommates to hate each other, that'd be pure hell. Speaking of which, your room is done, got a bed in there for ya so no more couch for you, decorate as you see fit.

“Thanks again. Both for getting me out of that hellhole and, uh... adopting me.”

The Adoption was all Zeika, I played no part in that.

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