Friendship is Card Games: How Applejack Got Her Hat Back & Cute-pocalypse Meow · 12:24pm Jul 26th, 2020
I admit, I haven’t been keeping up with Pony Life. It doesn’t help that it still isn’t airing in the States. Still, it is happening, it is pony-related, and there is enough to work with. Bearing all that in mind, let’s see what I can do with the next two episodes.
How Applejack Got Her Hat Back
The title cards for this one are fantastic. In the first, AJ’s hat is apparently being abducted by aliens. In the second… Well, we’ll get to that one.
“This is a love story… about hats.” Yeah, sounds about right.
Also, Pommejean is apparently canon.
So… do the others work at Sugarcube Corner, or did Pinkie just call in some favors? I’m going to lean towards the latter.
Only when Rarity’s wearing a cowpony hat do I truly appreciate how weird the proportions are. Even Applejack’s is more of a fascinator than something that would actually keep the sun out of her eyes.
Well, if the theme song didn’t confirm that Rarity has a house beyond Sugarcubee Corner, this definitely does. Honestly, I wasn’t sure.
Given the literally instant delivery, I’m just going to assume that Pony Life Derpy is an omniscient alicorn until proven otherwise. (If she never shows up, I win. If she does show up, she’s in Pony Life, and therefore I win.)
Don’t worry, Applejack. Twilight saying “Y’all” makes me uncomfortable.
I do appreciate how the hat jumps out of the box of its own volition for Fluttershy. In this world, is it any surprise she’s picked up a little chaos magic?
One thing I do appreciate about Applejack developing fourth wall awareness (aside from supporting my hypothesis that it’s a dark art of earth pony magic) is that she can directly question the premise of an episode. Truly, she has never been more relatable.
I do appreciate Pinkie bucking the trend.
Fancy Pants? Wasn’t expecting to see him of all ponies. And yes, I’m aware he factors more largely into a later episode, but still, him as a Ponyville background pony? Most unusual.
Who puts on the fudge after the sprinkles? The whole point of sprinkles is visual appeal.
Oh, right, and Applejack’s existential crisis. It makes sense that she feels her identity’s being diluted by her friends adopting surface level affectations of it. Though Pinkie’s advice to reinvent herself seems… dubious at best given AJ herself.
On that note, “I’m a country filly from peel to core” is a genuinely great Applejack line.
Yes, because when I think “trying on new hats,” my immediate first thought is “Chug unidentified magic potions.” And there’s probably a TF2 joke in there somewhere.
The riff on “Danger Zone” as Applejack contemplates the pilot’s hat really sells it. And I do like how it isn’t clear whether the cutaway scenes are Applejack’s imagination, dissociative episodes caused by the potions, or a combination of the two.
Hmm. The prop plane is one thing; we’ve seen pedalothopters on Friendship is Magic. But the fire engine definitely looks to be gas-powered. I know, I know, we saw Twilight tugging on a plug-in vacuum cleaner less than a minute ago. Pony Life’s general tech level is definitely higher than FiM’s. But it’s still interesting to note.
Ooh, space helmet. And space fungus. And a silly pony who really should’ve checked the atmospheric analysis before lifting her visor.
“What’s a hat that says ‘I’m havin’ an identity crisis?’”
And then she gets a beret. Perfect. Though the fact that Applejack’s enjoying something with strawberries on it really shows just how discombobulated she is.
Seriously. Look at this horse. This horse is amazing.
As is Applejack’s whole opening monologue in Part 2. But I’d like to highlight “But this black beret matches the core of who I am now. Dark. Alone. French?”
Also, it’s hard to take any inner turmoil seriously when the camera keeps panning over a doodled playground with giant carrots in the background.
AJ immediately noticing the issues with a group of people collectively deciding to go against the group delights me. I also do like how the alternative ponies’ cutie marks work together, emphasizing their self-defeating mission statement.
Derek pointing out the alt ponies’ relatively bizarre names is one of those cases where pointing out the problem actually does solve it. Of course they’re going to defy Equestria’s usual naming conventions.
I do love how Applejack fixates on finding some practical use for the squishy cube. No matter how bad the identity crisis, she’s still a fundamentally practical pony.
“Do you smell toast?”
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate that Rarity just asked Applejack if she were having a stroke? That may be the darkest joke this franchise has ever produced.
And so Rarity uses her social engineering abilities to fix the problem they caused. (Also, what are those hats made out of if Gummy can take bites out of them. you know, the alligator named after his toothlessness?)
Interesting that Rarity put words in Twilight’s mouth. It’s not clear what social and cultural cachet Twilight might have, if any, but I would think that the word of an alicorn still carries some weight.
I can understand lazy animation as a time-saver for “blink and you’ll miss it” moments. But this Flutterstampede went on for a very noticeable few seconds.
“Applejack, darling, you’re my muse!”
Hmm. The tech level may not be the only thing this world has in common with Equestria Girls.
I wouldn’t eat those cubes if I were you. For one, I can’t imagine very healthy ingredients go into them. For another, they’ve been sitting on the floor for quite some time. (Though, to be fair, Sugarcube Corner’s been cleaned to within an inch of its life, so there’s that.)
A good message in this one: Chasing trends and running with the herd isn’t going to bring lasting happiness, nor is defining yourself by others’ metrics. Even deliberately running against the sensibilities of the majority just means you’re running with a smaller, possibly more obnoxious crowd. Be you, be proud, and… eat cubes, I guess. 
Cute-pocalypse Meow
There is something deeply disturbing about Pinkie flexing her mane.
Girls, this entire universe is adorable. You know, barring the hair-flexing. Calling Fluttershy cute is just being redundant.
So. Bubbles. (No, not the Powerpuff Girl.) At first, it isn’t clear if we’re seeing Fluttershy’s animal communication in action, but later, it’s clear that other characters are talking to him directly. I could just file this under “It’s Pony Life; don’t question it,” but what fun would that be? Especially given that Opalescence is still a thing. I can’t let a Goofy-Pluto paradox of this magnitude go unresolved.
No, clearly, Abyssinians work like Khajiit, with a wide vairety of physiologies influenced by some supernatural element. (Not necessarily lunar phases, since Equestria doesn’t have as many moons as Nirn, but the moon could certainly play a role in such things.) Bubbles isn’t a cat; he’s an Alfiq.
I have to agree with Pinkie on the matter of savory desserts. It’s not dessert at that point. It’s an appetizer. Possibly an entree, depending on the serving size.
Very interesting to see Celestia’s cutie mark on Fluttershy’s tablet and phone. That could say quite a lot about this world. (Part of me can’t help but wonder if a different sun-marked pony provided the specs for the devices.)
Fluttershy favoring a dark sense of humor does make some sense. Discord isn’t the only one who reaches across the aisle in their relationship.
“If he’s a friend of yours, he’s a friend of ours.”
A.k.a. Geek Social Fallacy #4. Friends like you for who you are, but different friends will like different parts of you, and there may not be much or even any overlap.
The girls doing regular workouts together… unexpected, but certainly healthy.
Meanwhile, Bubbles is definitely a sapient cat. All of the malice with a mind more capable of directing it.
And here we see the depths of his scumminess. Doing horrible things, insincerely apologizing, and buying affection with trinkets and baubles. The only way this could be more of an abusive relationship would be if Bubbles got Fluttershy to say she fell down some stairs.
Spike is voiced by Tabitha St. Germain, and just sounds weird as a result, especially with the Mane Six having their usual voices. It’s honestly more disconcerting to me than his Steven Universe-esque bubble powers.
Okay, I do feel bad for him, but why did that pony spend three months making a book sculpture?
Um, Pinkie, first issue: The cupcakes crunch. I’m going to blame that on the baked cheese.
I mean, I agree that reality TV is garbage, but there’s such a thing as tact. Especially in the face of the overarching story. It’s not “sugarcoating reality,” it’s being considerate of others’ feelings. Because you’re not a sociopa…
Right. Cat. Moving on.
Oh dear, monochrome confetti explosion. That doesn’t bode well.
Good to see that Fluttershy can at least somewhat look past the kitty eyes and bribery on her own.
“He just looks cute and gives me a gift whenever he’s mean.”
And I thought the stroke and concussion were dipping into dark places.
Of course there’s a Starbucks. And of course it has free Wi-Fi. (At least, I hope it’s free.)
Ah, excuse me, Sugar Packet Place. Which is actually a pretty great name for a rival to the Corner.
Oh my. Hipstershy budded off of Fluttershy’s psyche and formed into her own entity. Let’s hope none of her other mental fragments follow suit.
Ah, a cuteness contest. Bubbles doesn’t stand a chance… thoguh the competitors taking flying leaps into the Uncanny Valley very quickly. Good thing Fluttershy has wings.
And Team Rocket’s blasting off again, apparently.
Soup and salad cake… It just sounds wrong. I love balsamic vinegar, but I don’t want it anywhere near a cupcake wrapper.
This does a surprisingly good job of demonstrating how someone can sink the hooks of a toxic relationship into a friend, including the bit where they try to tempt that friend back. As I’ve said before, Pony Life seems to teach the lessons you can learn from your enemies as much as the ones from your friends.
Now, let’s see what I’ve learned from this:
First-Response Firemare 2W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Flash
As long as First-Response Firemare enters the battlefield this turn, prevent all damage that would be dealt by red sources.
Fires are the least of Ponyville’s concerns.
2/2
Friendship Bracelet 2WW
Artifact
As Friendship Bracelet enters the battlefield, choose an opponent.
If a source the chosen player controls would deal damage to you, prevent 1 of that damage.
Whenever the chosen player casts a spell, you gain 1 life.
Ride the Bandwagon 4W
Instant
Choose target Equipment you control. For each creature you control that Equipment isn’t attached to, create a token that’s a copy of it attached to that creature. Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step.
Existential Potion 1U
Instant
Target nonland permanent phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don't exist until its controller's next turn.)
What is the sound of one identity breaking?
Trend Chaser 2U
Creature — Pony Citizen
T: Exchange control of Trend Chaser and target artifact. Activate this ability only during your turn.
“It’s like dangling a carrot in front of them. Indeed, I could probably do it with a carrot.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
2/3
Artificer’s Inspiration 2UU
Sorcery
Draw cards equal to target artifact's converted mana cost.
“My friends are my muse, as is their choice in accessories.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Top-Shelf Archivist 4U
Creature — Pegasus Advisor
Flying
When Top-Shelf Archivist dies, draw a card, then create an X/X colorless Pony Golem artifact creature token, where X is the number of cards in your hand.
Books remember those who treat them well, and those who don’t.
3/2
Wicked Indulgence B
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has menace and “1B: This creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.”
Everypony has a dark side.
Buck the Trend 1BB
Sorcery
Target opponent chooses three card names. Search your library for a card that doesn’t have a name chosen this way, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library.
Foregoing conventional wisdom yields unconventional solutions.
Crumbling Hopes 2B
Sorcery
Devoid (This card has no color.)
Distribute two -1/-1 counters among one or two target creatures. If a creature with a counter on it would die this turn, exile it instead.
Joy fades, and leaves only dread in its wake.
Malicious Prank 2BB
Instant
Target creature gets -3/-3 until end of turn.
Draw a card.
it’s all fun and games until somepony breaks a bone.
Ischemia 3B
Sorcery
Choose two. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Target player loses 3 life.
• Target player discards a card.
Losing blood makes it hard to keep anything else.
Psychic Effluvium 3B
Creature — Avatar
As Psychic Effluvium enters the battlefield, choose a card type.
Psychic Effluvium’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards of the chosen type in your graveyard.
*/*
Waning-Moon Trio 3B
Creature — Pony Warlock
As long as you control no other creatures, Waning-Moon Trio gets +3/+3 and has lifelink and menace.
Running against the herd leads to dark destinations.
3/3
Firestorm Pegasus 2R
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying
Whenever Firestorm Pegasus attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each spell you’ve cast this turn.
Giving a pegasus a flamethrower yields the exact results you would expect.
0/2
Scourge of Haberdashers 2G
Creature — Crocodile
Whenever an artifact is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on Scourge of Haberdashers.
One mare’s trash is another creature’s breakfast.
2/2
Thrive in Obscurity 2G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
Enchanted creature has hexproof.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on enchanted creature.
Major developments often come out of nowhere.
Meteor Thallid 4G
Creature — Fungus
At the beginning of your upkeep, you get E (an energy counter).
Pay EE: Create a 1/1 green Saproling creature token.
The asteroid miners never thought something else might have an interest in the local minerals.
3/4
Rear-Mounted Tiara 2
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature assigns combat damage equal to its toughness rather than its power.
Equip 2
The alternative crowd loves anything that flies in the face of the predictable.
Solar Smartslab 2
Artifact
3, T: Search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle your library.
Solar Smartslab has all activated abilities of all cards exiled with it.
As long as Solar Smartslab has equip, it’s an Equipment and has “Equipped creature get +1/+1 for each card exiled with Solar Smartslab.”
Heavy Airship 3
Artifact — Vehicle
Flying, trample
Crew 4
Crew with Pilot 2 (Tap any number of Pilots you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
6/5
The Next Big Thing 1UR
Enchantment
Play with the top card of your library revealed.
As long as the top card of your library is an artifact card, creatures you control get +2/+0 and have haste.
UR: Mill a card.
Picnic Ants 2(bg)
Creature — Insect
Whenever another player gains life, you may gain that much life.
They’ll take the basket, the blanket, and anypony who sits still for long enough.
3/1
Detestable Stalker 2BG
Creature — Cat Rogue
Deathtouch
Detestable Stalker must be blocked if able.
Some Abyssinians never grow out of playing with their food.
2/3
How Applejack Got Her Hat Back is unquestionably the greatest thing in the show so far, and one of only two episodes I've gone back to rewatch multiple times just for fun (the other being the also-excellent Bad Thing #3).
*goes back to rewatch it again*. Huh. Not sure I noticed before, but in the very opening shot before AJ flashes back, everyone is indeed wearing the hats.
"Cute-pocalypse Meow" is the last episode I've seen as I don't really want to deal with having to hunt down the episodes online. It was kind of weird watching it because I kept thinking, "are they dealing with abusive relationships? In a kids' show?" I mean, it's a good thing to have someone understand this is not okay, but it was still strange to see. I honestly expected that at some point, Bubbles would do something to Fluttershy, and then somehow make it so it was her fault.
I also feel the need to point out that when they went to confront Bubbles at Sugar Packet Place, he pretended he could not quite remember Fluttershy's name, then acted like the break-up was his idea.
Why? I think it could be a very entertaining story. Just imagine some pony going about there day, and then seeing not Fluttershy somewhere. Made all the more confusing by either seeing Fluttershy as well, or meeting multiples. Then there's the question of how it's happening. Is Fluttershy sleepwalking to the mirror pool? Is Discord responsible (albeit not on purpose)? Did she accidentally find something that is causing this? Is it simply changelings?
That's mad enough logic to work, my good FoME.
I'm just going to assume "Rule of Funny" is in effect, and move on.
…what? Wait, hold on, so the mi-go have shown up in Pony Life?
OMG, please bring her into the show. It would make me a very happy Voice.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: For best results with Ride the Bandwagon, target an Equipment that isn't equipped to anything yet, and then equip it to something if it has something that stacks. For even bester results, cast it during your opponent's turn after they've killed something that had a nasty equipment on it and then attacked into the rest of your creatures that they thought they could beat.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: You can send your opponent's Thrive in Obscurity to the graveyard by stealing either it or whatever it's enchanting. The former will probably be easier, because hexproof and the fact that the Aura itself doesn't have it.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Solar Smartslab only gains activated abilities, so it won't pick up the function of whatever equipment you exiled with it. And while you can exile artifact creatures, that doesn't make the slab itself a creature so a lot of abilities won't work, but two creatures exiled with it and you go infinite. Oh, and it only gets the abilities of artifacts you exiled with its own original ability, so your Legacy Weapon app is only better than the original due to not being legendary. And there's no cloud saving either; you lose the tablet, you lose everything it had saved on it even if you get the same physical card back onto the battlefield... and they stay in exile, so you probably aren't getting them back.
FOME. Buddy. I love you like a sensei, but there is something wrong with that statement.
I take it that this means Fluttershy is officially a Witch of Heart? :3
Huh. It appears that Pony Life is even more surreal than I'd imagined.
Glad to see you can still effectively make cards from it.
A weight great enough that Rarity can't shift it through talking?
I wonder if everyone's magic in this world is unique to themselves?
How Applejack Got Her Hat Back is better than any AJ-focused episode in FiM, try proving me wrong.
It's an odd non-sequitur, until you remember a line from earlier in the episode about AJ bemoaning playing with your food. Suddenly the cubes being edible turns into a brick joke.
I got to say I admire how Pony Life is willing to go weird.
My Little Pony Life: Enmity Is Educational.
Oh, Meteor Thallid is really cool. Rear-Mounted Tiara is hilarious, though I assume mainly because of the source material.
Solar Smartslab reminds me of Do-It-Yourself Seraph, and does some hilarious things. And as a nitpick to 5322379 , it *can* get the effect of the equipment, if you pick the right equipment, like Demonspine Whip or Shadowspear or Ring of Evos Isle, or my personal favourite, Sunforger. Umezawa's Jitte could work rather well too, in conjunction with some other way of getting charge counters like Gemstone Array, Lux Cannon or Magistrate's Scepter - all of which would be great to install on your Smartslab whether or not you go the Jitte route.
5324467
Even among those examples, only the Whip is giving its full benefits. Of course, Gemstone Array plus anything whose activated abilities assumed that charge counters would be harder to obtain results in shenanigans, although in the Jitte's case it's more of a sidegrade given that anything with double strike is four counters a turn for something you probably wanted to do anyway... at least until you combine it with the Palladium Myr (tap to add two colorless mana) and Pili-pala (pay two mana and untap it to get one mana of any color) to do things just in case you didn't draw your Fireball or whatever.