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Not Enough Coffee


"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." ~ Marcus Aurelius

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Jul
25th
2020

The Art of Stoicism and Overcoming One's Self · 2:33am Jul 25th, 2020

(Art by Racoonsan).

I think it's good to reflect on a teaching that has shaped my current worldview, as I believe it is relevant to the current climate we live in. That being the teachings of stoic philosophy. 

To start, I know many of my peers and I have gotten into a fair number of debates and discussions these past couple weeks. With them came emotion, and with emotion insults and loss of control. In a sense, people painted themselves in a bad light. There is a keyword in there that represents where debate often went awry. That's "emotion."

Emotion is something that is taught to be within our control for a reason, and is part of the stoic way of life. We may not control what is said to us, what is done to us, and what the future holds for us way down the line, but we do have full control over how we will react to such circumstances. In debate, we have no control over what our opponent may say, but we can control how we react to it. Did they insult you, did they try to sully your name with demeaning, manipulative shame tactics? You can lash out with anger, or you can take a measured response and tackle their falsified lies with precision.

In doing so you proved yourself more collected and well reasoned, and thus one the debate in one swift motion. By having disciplined control of your emotion, of yourself and how you take the words, people, and world around you, you have taken a vast step in the right direction of being stoic. In a sense, to be a mountain that stands firm in the face of a rushing river. 

(Art by Mirroredesa).

But what is within our control aside from emotion? Time. Time, and grit our in our control. Time is important. Ask a student who failed a class the importance of a year. Ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby the importance of a month. Ask the person who missed a train the importance of an hour. Ask the person who nearly escaped death by a mere second the importance of said second.

When taking your life through a critical eye, you will see the most important resource given to us is time, yet it is so freely thrown away. When presented with an hour to spare before work, what do you do? Do you relax and watch YouTube, grab a bite to eat, or catch up on the latest drama within the fandom?

I personally think of what I've neglected to do, or what I want to accomplish in the long term and work a little towards that with the little free time I am given. How else will I accomplish the tasks each and every hobby and chore present? It's a shame many have died on their deathbed wishing they spent their limited time more wisely, in a sense saying they wish they could have spent that little bit of time holding down an obligation to better themselves. To live a fuller life, to live a responsible life, to live a life where time wasn't wasted.

For time I and others have wasted. It is never coming back, but that is something that should be accepted. To grieve for it is to waste more time on something out of your direct control. Life should be lived in both the now and of what can be controlled in the future, not of the past or what is unreasonable of the future.

Life, to me, is the challenge of overcoming yourself. Inch by inch, step by step, mile by mile. Every push forward is a push towards a more fulfilled and better you via the indifference of what is uncontrollable. Focus on what can be done, and to stop making excuses for what wasn't done.

I have lost pets and family to death this year, I have lost friends and acquaintances to politics this year, yet I stand unshaken. Why is this? It is because while it does hurt, I don't let it control my time and my mental well being. I still must continue forward with life in the absence of what I once had. I had to come to accept what has happened swiftly, less I get caught in the past. My grief existed and still does, but to let the mourning overcome my life is to let life overcome me.

But don't let this push you into stubbornness or recklessness. Stubbornness in the sense of not seeing reason and holding your ground on a shoddy foundation for simply trying to adhere to remaining stoic in the face of opposition is foolish. Always be aware of yourself and others. It helps clear the confusion.

And to take the stance of "whatever happens, happens" while something I do enjoy to implement, don't let it make you make rash, reckless decisions. Thought has to be put into your choices, as you should ponder "What do I have to lose if I make this choice?" If it is too great, don't do it. To do so is to be foolishly reckless.  

(Art by Mirroredesa).

The essence of this blog is to explain the importance of being in control of yourself and what you can directly manage. It is unwise to focus on what you can't control, as it is a waste of your time and development as a person. Instead, overcoming your own obstacles with measured control of yourself and what you can directly affect will help you grow into the person you want to be.

This was something that has helped me greatly as of late, and even more so when it came to overcoming the deep sadness I used to feel deep within. But there is much that went into that, this is just one of many schools of thought that has shaped me as I continue my development as a person. I hope this brings interest to stoicism to those who read this blog, and helps you reflect on what you can directly do next time you are faced with an obstacle that pushes you to the ground and spits on your good name.

To that, the start of your reading into Stoicism should start with "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius, as it holds the foundation of the stoic's way of thought. 

~ Not Enough Coffee

Comments ( 20 )

Very nice essay. Very nice.

And tell me, how does one start to covet?

5321120

And tell me, how does one start to covet?

Unsure of what is meant to be said here. I'll take it as the definition of covet implies. That is, to desire. Which, everyone desires something. The perfect relationship, the dream house, a new, high paying job.

But, as I'm sure you know, having all of these is something most of us won't accomplish or have. Which, is perfectly fine. We aren't in control if we are born of wealth or good health, or where life leads dictates if where we went will have us stumble across the perfect lover.

But we do have control whether to let such desire control out rational thought. I might desire children, and a perfect partner, but to focus purely on that pursuit, or to fantasize none-stop about it, I give up the time and energy I could have used working on something far more important to me in the now. That being a balanced work life and better pay.

I fall for it's trappings like anyone else, but I try to work myself out of it. It's something to be worked towards over a life time. It requires work, and isn't handed to you by virtue of merely existing.

I'm saying this off the idea of what I think you meant by this question. I may have read it wrong, but this is the answer I give for what I think is asked.

Self control? Personal responsiblity? Not being a emotion gushing mental and physical wreck through actual improvement then feel good hippy bullshit?

Racist:pinkiesick:

Next you'll be espousing nonsense like Carolla

This is essentially one of my major life philosophies, and it’s really cool to see someone else discussing it. Having a thoughtful, careful response to stuff is always a good idea when you can do it.

Although it’s a bit different for me though. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, so understanding how people socialize is something I had to learn manually. Thankfully because of my training in this, I can generally look past the emotional responses of people to see what people actually mean and how to address it. That is what I think is one of the biggest strengths of stoicism.

Lastly, there’s a time and place to output emotions. I think true stoicism also involves finding the best times to do that. Where you can let it out with purpose, either to get assistance in solving a problem or simply letting steam out before continuing.

Anyway, A+ blog post man.

Well said, philosopher king.

5321131

Lastly, there’s a time and place to output emotions. I think true stoicism also involves finding the best times to do that. Where you can let it out with purpose, either to get assistance in solving a problem or simply letting steam out before continuing.

For sure. Bottling your emotions too long is unhealthy. We all need a good outlet to pour them into. Less you risk damaging your mental well being and having an outburst at the worst possible time.

Also, I honestly never would have guest you had Asperger's. You have always had real good social skills from what I've seen of you. Impressive, that's not easy to overcome.

I just... I just want everyone to take a breath, man. Like, just take a single fucking moment to realize that the person on the other side isn't just an "Evil Racist Asshole" or an "Evil Marxist Asshole." They're a person, and whether you like it or not, both sides have at least some validity to their arguments. That's the problem, though. We've stopped making good conscious efforts to be civil. I admit, I was guilty of this. I left smug and condescending comments, treating the other side as stupid or wicked. But I've grown so tired of it, and now it's too late. We've reached the point where my calls for calm are being met by rage and accusations of betrayal by both sides.

I've been spinning The Price of a Mile by Sabaton a lot lately, and it just rings eerily familiar. The idea that you should stop thinking of your enemy as human. That both sides are firmly entrenched and believe that the only way to win is to route the enemy and annihilate them.

"Six million men are gone." How many friendships have been ended by this? How many people have been told by a person they considered a good friend that "You're just a Nazi apologist/Orwellian tyrant! Never talk to me again!"

"Still no glory has been won." Has either side accomplished anything? Is there any prize that has been awarded?

"And as the men crawl, the general calls, and the killing carried on." The most fervent mouthpieces and figure heads keep on screaming for blood, demanding that no quarter be given, because the person on the other side is nothing but a disgusting failure of a human being who has no right to exist.

"What is the purpose of it all?" At the end of the day... what is up for grabs? If Aryanne is banned, Nazi and Alt-Right people will still be here. They'll just make some new mascot or symbol to rally behind. And if she remains, it just means that a lot of people will leave and never come back, leading to the death of the fandom. So in the end, if nothing changes, our options are a toxic fandom... or a dead one.

What is the price of a mile?

5321136
Sometimes I even surprise myself, but I have a few behaviors and feelings IRL that definitely remind me of my sperginess. :p

Im very fortunate that my parents had the foresight to take me to after-school groups specifically for practicing and learning social skills. I know I could easily be less than sociable without stuff like that.

5321138

That's the problem, though. We've stopped making good conscious efforts to be civil.

I've seen this from many different people of many different angles. I fall back on knowing there is nothing I can do to sway their thoughts and minds. I'll leave my thought piece and move on from there. If I'm challenged to a debate, I'll hunker down and explain myself thoroughly. If I am meant with disrespect and none of the same thought I put into it, I move on with my day. It would be wasted time and energy otherwise. I can let the stew swish and swoosh around in it's own grime.

How many people have been told by a person they considered a good friend that "You're just a Nazi apologist/Orwellian tyrant! Never talk to me again!"

I've been on the receiving end of this. I am also tired of it, as I haven't gone down and called my opponents communist tyrants. When debating, I take time to think what is going through the person's mind, see what they see, and see what I have fault with it and discuss it and why I disagree with it.

To simply give up friendship because your ideals are different is being purposely blind to the other perspectives of life. I have friends on every side of the spectrum, and have many disagreements, but I respect them all, as they my friends. I may wish for the same respect back from some who ostracize me for my beliefs, but my anger can only last so long. I have to move on, and so I have.

If it was something so trivial to kill the friendship, then it was something that wasn't meant to last. Acceptance is key there to moving on.

You seem pretty stressed, Jake. Ever think of taking a week or month long sabbatical to get your bearings together? It might do you some good.

5321140
I'm glad to hear that. For what it's worth, I always enjoy our talks. Keep doing you, bro.

5321138
... Jake, neither I, nor most people I imagine on this side of the debate have in any espoused anyone as not human. The general seems to be how the catholics see protestants: we love you, we just think youe're retarded.

The only place I've really seen that has been coming from the so called "opposition" who didn't stop seeing anyone they disagreed with as human, they literally never did in the first place. They can't, because up until now anyone not agreeing with them entirely, never mind actually opposing them, is something that cannot enter their mind, and in the face of this notion, they can only fall back to their talking points.

I don't regard them as evil. I disagree with them, think them foolish and being used, but not seeing them as human is a decided bit much.

Now, mind, there are those on the Left whom I disagree and whom I can have a civil discussion, Heartshine being a prime example. I can respect and acknowledge our differences, but few seem on her side willing, or again, able to extend the same courtesy

JackRipper
Moderator

A lot of people have certainly shown me their true colors these last few weeks.

5321125
Oh, well, I was quoting a line from The Silence of the Lambs, in which Hannibal Lector discusses Marcus Aurelius

5321192
I have sinned and never seen the film. Rip.

5321193
Don't sweat it. You're forgiven

I think it's good to reflect on a teaching that has shaped my current worldview, as I believe it is relevant to the current climate we live in. That being the teachings of stoic philosophy.

You've been called a Nazi too, have you? (sigh) I see I'm in good company. That was really good on you to contribute to Marenheit 451. I contributed in a very small way myself by editing "I Did Not See That Coming". People like you and Clopficsinthecomments give me some small sliver of hope in these dark times.

(Art by Mirroredesa).

That's a nice image. Do you know Mirrorsea? Are you Mirroredsea? You did say you contributed to the M541 and there was only one story in the pack.

It's a shame many have died on their deathbed wishing they spent their limited time more wisely, in a sense saying they wish they could have spent that little bit of time holding down an obligation to better themselves.

We're all a little lazy these days, that's true. Evolution sadly pushes humanity towards the path of least resistance and despite having access to limitless knowledge we waste all the time we have being comfortable. The stoics certainly have a point.

Life, to me, is the challenge of overcoming yourself. Inch by inch, step by step, mile by mile. Every push forward is a push towards a more fulfilled and better you via the indifference of what is uncontrollable. Focus on what can be done, and to stop making excuses for what wasn't done.

But it's haaaaard! :pinkiesad2:

To that, the start of your reading into Stoicism should start with "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius, as it holds the foundation of the stoic's way of thought.

I'll keep that in mind but stoicism sounds like a lot like work. I think the thing that keeps me from fully appreciating this sort of philosophy is I come from a place of "none of this matters, we're doomed and the planet is dying". If all of us are doomed than what therefore can be accomplished by improving one's self through a lifestyle of self-deprecation? Too little too late, I say. Still, compliments on your blog and the time that went into writing it. You presented your points clearly and with solid reasoning.

5321341

You've been called a Nazi too

I have, but it doesn't affect me too much. I know it ain't true, and those that actually know me or give my character some thought also know it ain't true.

When called such names it speaks more to the character of those who call me it than of the character of myself. I have no reason to be blind with hatred over something so silly.

I'll keep that in mind but stoicism sounds like a lot like work. I think the thing that keeps me from fully appreciating this sort of philosophy is I come from a place of "none of this matters, we're doomed and the planet is dying".

There is a liberation in that, friend. If nothing matters, then it is up to you to make it matter to you. It is hard work, and it is through the hard work and daily reflection that you'll gain stronger character and will. It's what stoicism is all about; overcoming the obstacles through grit and indifference of what doesn't matter.

It's not easy. Life isn't, but to me it makes life more fun and worthwhile.

Also, no. I am not that artist. Though, I really enjoy their work. They are fantastic.

well said friend, well said. I thank you for this

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