The Stars Revolt: Pony Religion · 3:50am Jul 20th, 2020
Somepony knocks on Shepherd's door at 6 in the morning. The human groans, rolls out of bed, and pulls on his robe. He pads in his slippers to the door, and opens it on...
Shepherd: "... Mister Waddles?"
Waddles: "Aha! Priest Waddles right now! I've got the collar on!"
Shepherd: "Okay, Priest... What can I do for you?"
Waddles: "Well, Shepherd, I was hoping you might come to service this Celesday and speak about the glorious humans who protected us long ago! Megan the Wise, Molly the Pure, and Danny the Brave!"
Shepherd: "Um... I'd love to, Priest Waddles, but I've never met them."
Waddles: "But surely as another Human sent by Harmony's Will to defend our world, you are familiar with your fellow defenders-?"
Shepherd: "Priest, sir, with all due respect, I'm not supernatural. I'm not divine. I'm just a plain old sinner, like you."
Waddles pulls out a religious text of some sort, as Shepherd yawns.
Waddles: "But-But-But-You helped saved all of Equestria! So it is written in the Gospel of Firefly! 'Behold! My messenger clothed in flesh shall come forth and deliver you from Eternal Night!'"
Shepherd: "Wait, what? That passage right there? That's clearly referring to a unicorn, not a human. The passage above it refers to the 'follower of the sun's hoofsteps'. That's not me."
Waddles: "By Celestia's teats, you're right! I've been totally wrong! You aren't the divine Messenger of Harmony! You are a Disciple of Harmony! No, the true Messenger is... TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
Shepherd: "You should definitely go tell her then!"
Waddles: "I will! THANK YOU SHEPHERD!" *He trots off quickly*
Shepherd: *Sips his coffee* "She is going to be so mad..."
This makes it even funnier if he’s lying and Faust her self comes down and said yes you are the hero human
As Winston Zeddemore says, “...when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!”
Didn’t Ghostbusters teach you anything? You missed an opportunity there, Shepherd.
I wanna see the rest of this.
"I'm not the Messiah. She's across the street. Don't worry, I get half of her mail as it is."
When a Religious nut-ball wakes you up in the middle of OMG-IE you "Nope", and redirect to some one entertaining.
5316376
Twilight: "Shepherrrrdd... Why do I suddenly have a cult devoted to me?!"
Shepherd: "Well, seeing as I already had one I figured, why not be generous and share with you?"
Ahh, schadenfreude! ...What's even more amazing is that I finally managed to spell that correctly on my first try without first looking it up.