Story Reviews: The Side Character is a Deer · 1:55am Jul 17th, 2020

So, a few of you remember I may or may not have used to do story reviews. Then I dropped out of it. But now, I'm back. I don't know how many stories I'll be reviewing, but I'll be doing a few. Such as this one.

So, The Side Character is a Deer. I'll be the first to admit, this caught my interest for a number of reasons. Largely due to it's take on the Displaced Format. It sorta reminded me of that one old story with a character realizing he was a bad OC, I don't remember who did it so if anyone can remember for me, please do.

Now, the problem with me for this story? It doesn't use that potential as much as it should. The main villain, Derek? He's kinda flat as a character, just a one-note bad OC. Like, if I was writing this story or if I had to give advice to the author, which I consider myself doing as a reviewer, here's what I'd do. Have Derek realize he's a bad OC and that reality is bending to his whim. Maybe change his ways, or just go hell to the metal with it, and become a proper tyrant. He's very one-note. Look, I get he's supposed to be a whole deconstruction of the Gary Sue who falls in love with everyone and they love him back but... he's very evil for the sake of being evil. Let me give an example of why this doesn't work. I'm citing a recent example, Kamen Rider 01's villain Kamen Rider Thouser. His background recently got revealed, where his dad wanted him to be impossibly perfect. He even made him return his robot dog to Hiden Industries. The consequences of this echo throughout the series. Derek... has no such backstory and really I can't get inside his head.

Secondly, the pacing. Like, oh lordy the pacing. The chapters are barely over 1,200 words long on average, and really more could be done with the setting if they were longer or didn't progress so fast. Like, it feels as if the author's just barely giving the effort and the characters are going through the motions. I'm trying not to come off as rude here, but I'd honestly think you can do better, sir. Like, say double it with 3,000 words. That makes for a better prologue, honestly.

And then there's our other lead. Whoo boy, our other lead. I don't like him either, largely due to how undetermined he is. He has no drive to improve his situation, and instead just whines about it. Like, there's only so much of this I can take before it becomes grating. Aside from a few rare outbursts, he's kind of a wet blanket. He's very subservient, just does whatever he's told. Now, granted, this can be done well as a character flaw but the story doesn't seem to work to have Johan improve himself even after seven chapters.

It's... just not a fun read.

So, final score out of a possible 10?

TThe Side Character is a Deer - Legacy Edition