I have a confession to make · 11:27pm Jul 11th, 2020
This may seem pointless and not a big deal and maybe it isn't but I have my reason for doing this. When I first started writing on this site, I didn't think much would happen with it but then a lot more people ended up reading my work then I thought would and I wanted to keep that going. But then there was something I wanted to write and was very scared of what people would think because it was a very dark and controversial story. So I made a separate account and posted my story there. And just as I expected, not only it got way more views than any of my other stories, it got a lot of hate. I didn't tell a lot of people I wrote this story. Then a few months ago, I started to feel guilty about it. I felt like I was lying to my readers but also myself. I couldn't deny the fact that it was the fear of what people would think of me that prevented me for saying that I wrote it. Because yes, it did a lot of hate but it also got a lot of praise. And I did make quite a few friends from this story. But I was so afraid.
Then COVID hit and I left my college and moved in with my sister. At first, everything was fine. I helped her with some of the bills and I gave her a lot of money for food and I thought everything was fine but then I lost my job and things went downhill from there. I tried to find a new job but even now I still can't and my sister and I got into a bad fight. Her boyfriend made it very clear to her that he wanted me out and that he hates me. Then like 4 days ago she started yelling at me for no reason because she got mad at her dog and I said that she was worse than my mom sometimes. Because my mom had a huge problem with dislocated anger. I walked out of the apartment and when I came back I could hear them from the other side of the door talking very badly about me. I felt very betrayed and angry by how they were talking about how disrespectful and ungrateful I was. I gave them probably about $1,000 to support them because I felt like I owed them. I thought if I helped them they would feel better about me but it meant nothing to them. My sister owes me money and her fiance made it clear that they weren't going to pay me back and they still haven't. So I walked into the apartment grabbed two bags and told my sister that I was leaving and would return to come to get the rest of my stuff. At the moment I'm staying at my step dad's mom's house. I don't know how long for. I'm typing this with hardly any money in my wallet and no job with no clue what I'm going to do for the next month-and-a-half before I have to return to school. For so many years I did everything to make her feel like I could be a sister to her. we were never really close so I thought after my mom died if I could make a relationship with her then maybe it wouldn't have been for nothing. But now I see that some people aren't meant to be close and that sometimes you can't care about how people think of you even the ones close to or you are related to. Because it can consume you to a point that you're willing to do anything to be approved. And now I don't have much at all because of that. And to my sister here is what I have to say screw her. I don't need her approval and I do not care how she thinks of me anymore. I wasted so many years caring about it. I'm not perfect but I did more than enough for her to see that I am her sister and if she can't see it well I don't care anymore because I know I am a good person. I'm not perfect but I'm not bad. And I am not going to let the fear of what people think of me consume me anymore. And to that, I am now admitted that I wrote this story...
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/380613/a-broken-moon
And not only that I never regretted writing this story, but I also have plans with the story and I might even post it on this account because I'm not a shame of it anymore. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I will take in the criticism and the praise and see what I can do with it. But I'm done letting people make choices for me. I am done letting fear of what people think of me control me. I've been letting that affect me my whole life and at this moment I am done. Anyone else with the same problem, I know it's hard but it's so worth it when you don't like fear consume you. When you stop looking for approval and believe in yourself, you can do so many good things. If I listened to people I wouldn't be going to college and I wouldn't have graduated or got a job. I accomplish more when I didn't let fear stop me and that's what I need to keep doing and for that, I am now confessing the story that I wrote. You can hate me now or you can keep reading my work. This is who I am and all I can hope is that I become someone better. Regardless, who I become will be because of me and my choices and not someone else's.
Till next time!!!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, ANN!!
Quite a devisive story you have there, so many votes! Sometimes devisive is very good, but its not up to me to decide that.
Show the world who owns who! people may throw shit at you but in the end you control what you feel and nobody can take that away
HAHAHA, Yes!!!!!!! So happy when someone gets tired of bullshit. Things are hard, your path is unclear, bit you will be fine. The people that are worth it will be constructive and help you. Those that aren't won't. This post right here is what I mean when I say that others hatred of me makes me stronger. Keep rising. And good journey
I’m proud of you for telling us about this! I wish you luck with your money and sister. She and her fiancé sounds like they just suck. Worse then that! You gave your sis all this money and she up and acted like a buckin b
tch!! Normally I don’t ‘swear’ like this but this makes me VERY MAD. You gave them, what, 1,000 bucks?! And they talk bad about you and treat you like dirt! Ugh, I wish you good luck with where your staying and I pray you find another job.
Im proud of you. Proud to call you my friend.
Like many of the people here have said, I'm proud of you for telling us. I hope things get cleared up in your personal life and remember, we're all here for ya.
Wow...it takes some real courage to admit something like that
Also, I guess you could say that we're kind of alike in a way...my extended family wanted our money, possessions, etc, and when we had nothing to give them, they tossed us aside like we meant nothing to them. Very few we stay in contact with, but the rest were adamant to steer clear of us. Truly, those people embody the Deadly Sin of Greed.
But all in all, I'm still here, I'm still your friend, never forget that
You're right, it's an incredibly important thing to have courage and eschew what other people think and just be yourself.
Your sister sounds like one of my aunts - she blames the entire world for her problems, but not herself... It's good for you that you walked out, family or not, such people are toxic.
One question, though... Did you just took the story down on one account, and reposted it here, as a NEW STORY? Looking at the dates, it sure seems that way, but... this is against the rules
. Just recently, one of the other users tried to 'adopt' an abandoned story like that (with the author's permission), and it got removed by mods 
.
If that's what you did, you should take it down and ask mods to transfer the story from that old account, ASAP, before someone reports it.
5306695
oh. I did not know that. Umm who do I go to to ask about that?
Edit: Okay I removed it and PM a mod to transfer it. Thanks for letting me know
5306696
Sorry, its election day over here, as soon as I posted that I had to go and pass a vote
Anyway, you probably figured it out yourself, but these two links may interest you, or anyone else reading that:
https://www.fimfiction.net/faq/questions/177/i-want-to-transfer-my-story-to-another-account-is-this-possible
https://www.fimfiction.net/faq/questions/176/i-deleted-a-story-and-now-i-want-it-back-what-can-i-do
Hopefully, the mods won't make any problems
5306708
I am talking with one rn. It shouldn't be much longer
Ouch. You've had a lot of trouble in the last few months. Keep fighting, it will pay off.
5306708
It has been transferred. Thanks again
5306810
You're welcome, glad it worked
I'm really happy that you finally accepted yourself and you aren't ashamed of the works you created. While you may get some hate for that story's darker themes, do not ever let anyone accuse you of supporting (or even condoning) the actions found within. It's quite normal for creative minds to write about some depraved sections of the human psyche, and people should respect that.
Nowadays, there seems to be a lot of people who have no grasp of fiction vs reality and believes that every work of fiction is in fact an attempt at pushing a political or social message. That just isn't true and don't let yourself get roped or bullied into believing it to be true under the guise of "criticism".
I know how it is to feel ashamed of something you have written that's gotten a lot of hate. I made my story Passing on Together and while it's still at a Passing grade I'm gonna be remaking it and combining it with its midquel to try and make it have a better rating. Some people just dont like certain subjects like rape or giving up immortality.
almost a week late, but good on you friend, good on you.