TFangs and Gangs
MLP: FiM
Dark
Adventure
Comedy
Two changeling gangs must put their differences aside and work together to infiltrate the Queen Chrysalis’ new hive.
Violence
OC
Chrysalis
Changelings
Thorax
Pharynx
MlpHero · 11k words · 12 3 · 372 views

HeroSins #2 · 1:09am Jul 8th, 2020

Everything Wrong With

Fangs and Gangs: Prologue

This is a joke

(Duh)

Manehattan
2nd Lt. Blue Fang
Fang Gang
0950pm
Today, we got orders to assist in a hostage situation. Our plan is to have me, Mantis, Stinger, and Dagger repel down the building and meet up with Hivehunter, Zen, Brokenwing, Mitchell, and Kydra and secure the hostage.
—Blue Fang

Quickest. Plot advance. Ever.

Sin Count: 1

Blue Fang looked down the side of the building, watching as ponies, both civilian and guard, watched them from the ground.

Must not be a very tall building if they can see who’s watching them.

Sin Count: 2

Also, why is the Royal Guard there if they’re doing absolutely nothing to assess the situation?

Sin Count: 3

He then looked over to some of his friends, who were also his comrades for this mission. He walked over to them.

I think everyone who can read this has a brain. We know what comrades are.

Sin Count: 4

“Alright Stinger, are we ready?”
“It appears so.”
“Okay guys, let’s do this.”

Everyone’s ready, except the Reader, who don’t know sh*t.

Sin Count: 5

Blue looked over to another and flashed his horn, and someone responded with horn flashes of their own. “Alright, Mantis is covering us, so let’s go.”
The three changelings set their hooks up and started repelling down the building. “Keep it up down there, Mantis!” Blue Fang called out.

So where the other Fangs? Why is the OG team on their own?

Sin Count: 6

Mantis nodded and continued lowering them down. Blue looked over to his friend, Dagger. “How you holding’ up Dag? Better than swimming?”
“Way better!”
“I hear you!” Stinger said, “you almost drowned over a typewriter!”
Dag shot an angry glare at him.
“Keep it together! No time for bantering!” Blue said. “Are your crossbows ready?”

Unnecessary character growth. Why do we need to know this? It would’ve been fine if the writers just said Dagger was scared of water, or drowning.

Sin Count: 7

“They were made ready!” Stinger answered.
“Alright! Mantis, stop!” Blue called out, and Mantis brought their ropes to a halt.
“Alright, we’re here. Mantis, you fly to that building over there; cover us with your scope.” Blue made a motion towards a nearby building facing opposite of them.
“Roger that!” Mantis flew to that exact building.

Does Mantis have a radio? How else would he hear them?

Sin Count: 8

“You sure we can trust him?” Dagger asked. “We’re trusting Mant with our lives.”
“He’s a better shot than you,” Stinger replied, pulling out his cutter with a smirk.
“Screw off…” Dagger replied, pulling out his cutter as well, followed by Blue.

Oof.

Sin Count: 9

Soon, they began cutting circular holes into the glass. They then broke through the windows, drawing their weapons as they did.
They looked around inside. “Clear,” Blue whispered. “Let’s go. Hive and Zen will meet us at the power room.”

The first time we hear Hive and Zen’s name is through dialogue. I feel ripped off.

Sin Count: 10

The changelings all began moving through the interior of the building, searching for the power room that their comrades were in. After a while, they stopped at a room, with the door being marked with a sign saying “high voltage!”

I get there’s no point in talking about scenery, but you’d think they add a bit more to this then saying ‘after a while’.

Sin Count: 11

“Well, this must be it alright,” Blue said to the others.

Well, thanks for the update Captain Obvious.

Sin Count: 12

“Well, what are we waiting for? Open it,” Stinger said, watching their rear.
With a strong hoof, Blue swung the door right open. On the other side stood a griffon, who tried drawing his crossbow, but was tackled by someone and thrown into a circuit breaker, both killing him, and knocking out the power. They looked up to see two changelings, one with a red carapace, wings, eyes, and a chipped horn, the other a nymph and with one green eye, the other blue.

Taking a sin off for Hive being a badass.

Sin Count: 11

However, adding a sin because apparently there’s electricity now.

Sin Count: 12

“Hive! Zenex!” Blue rushed up to the duo.

Thanks again Captain Obvious.

Sin Count: 13

“Heh. Told you we’d be here,” Hivehunter, the red changeling, chuckled.
The others stepped in with Blue and the others. “We almost shot your crazy flanks!” Dagger jokingly said.
“Says the one with a crazy flank.” Hive rolled his red eyes.
“Whatever…”

Oof. Again.

Sin Count: 14

Blue chuckled before looking at the broken circuit breaker. “Owner of this place ain’t gone like that,” he said.

Again, electricity exists.

Sin Count: 15

“It’s one circuit breaker in this giant buck-fest of a building! They won’t notice this one little thing.” He waved his hoof.

'Buck-fest'.

Sin Count: 16

“Anyway, here are the night vision goggles Mantis made for us.”
“Perfect! Thanks, guys.”
“Heh. No problem. Now let’s go find the others.” He and Zen flipped their goggles on.

Night vision goggles.

Sin Count: 17

“Alright then. Drop anyone who isn't friendly, and I mean anyone.” Blue said, also flipping his goggles down.

No duh.

Sin Count: 18

The rest of the group put the goggles on. Blue looked around the now green-lit room; the goggles would allow him to see things in the dark that his foes wouldn’t.

I think we know what NvG’s are

Sin Count: 19

“Okay, where to now?” Dagger asked

Weren’t you just briefed on this?

Sin Count: 20

“We work our way up this buck-fest. Three levels above us,” Blue said. “That means three levels of foes that we’re gonna have to drop.”

Blue just took a big info dump over that bit of dialogue.

Sin Count: 21

“Buck yeah!” Dagger whispered, while loading his crossbow.

Dagger is a bit too excited for justified murder.

Sin Count: 22

“Alright now let’s move.”
They began making their way to the first floor. The first floor was filled with office cubicles. Mantis came on through their radios. ‘Alright, looks like we got six Tangos in that room.’
“Six of them ought to be easy enough.” Dagger grinned.

Dagger needs a chill pill.

Sin Count: 23

“Alright. Let’s bag these buckers,” Zenex whispered, getting his weapon ready.

That’s a bit out of character for Zenex.

Sin Count: 24

They quietly opened the door. “Remember, we have the night vision, the darkness is our friend,” Blue said, looking around the room.

Damn, Blue enjoys being Captain Obviously.

Sin Count: 25

They crept through the cubicles. Blue found one looking around. He drew his knife and jumped his opponent.
“Axis? You alright?” Someone called out, referring to the griffon Blue had taken out.

Either Blue must’ve been a bit loud when taking out the griffon, or they have night vision.

Sin Count: 26

Also, how do they know specifically which griffon Blue took out?

Sin Count: 27

Some of the others jumped a bit, especially Zenex, who clung to Hive.

Remind me why Zenex is here. I get that he’s a part of the Fang Gang, but he’s thirteen and is this scared.

Sin Count: 28

Don’t worry, I got him. Mantis said.
An arrow flew through the window and struck the griffon.
“Perfect timing, Mantis,” Hive said.
‘No problem. The others look spooked, take’em out before they find the ‘mess’.’

So... none of the griffons noticed the glass shatter?

Sin Count: 29

Or the arrow flying through the room?

Sin Count: 30

Or the body dropping?

Sin Count: 31

The changelings quickly took out the stragglers, who had no time to react, and then moved quickly onto the next floor.

Another quick plot advance.

Sin Count: 32

The next floor seemed to be a dining or break room or something. “Huh, interesting,” Blue complimented before seeing the group of ponies and griffins.

It’s a break room! How’s it interesting?

Sin Count: 33

“We got a group of’em. Probably coming to fix the circuit breaker.” He looked at Zen, then to a vent. He pulled out some sort of belt. “Zen, crawl into that vent and drop these strobe lights on them.”

Strobe lights.

Sin Count: 34

“Okay!” Zen took the strobe lights and darted to that nearby vent and took the cover off. Because of his small size and the fact he was nymph made it easier to squeeze into the vent. He found the small space to be somewhat cozy. He crawled for a while until he found his enemies. He pressed one of the buttons and threw the timed flashing lights into the group.
The group of enemies looked at the lights in confusion for a moment, until…
Beep!
Before they could react, the lights became so bright and flashy that they couldn’t see anything.

A seizure salad anyone?

Sin Count: 35

Zen smirked. “Have a nice seizure.” He crawled back to the ground. “We’re ready!” He called out to the others.
“Great job, Zen!” Blue grinned.

Dang Zen, that’s cold.

Sin Count: 36

The others nodded and congratulated him. Then they breached the room, successfully firing their arrows into the group. Once it was set and done, Blue looked up to Zen. “Hey Z! Can you crawl to the others?”
He nodded. “I think so!”
“Alright. If you can, tell Broken and the others we’ll be there!”
“On it!”
“Alright! We’ll meet you on the other side!”
Zen started crawling through the vent. Why is this so cozy? He thought

Again, why are they sending Zenex to do this?

Sin Count: 37

Also, more unnecessary character growth. We don’t need to know that Zen likes small spaces. Right?

Sin Count: 38

Blue looked at the others. “Alright everyone, let’s move.” They started making their way to the next room.
The third and final floor was their target destination. Now they just had to wait for the others.
Eventually, their other comrades, Brokenwing, Mitchell, and Kydra arrived. “We’re here,” Broken said.

More quick plot advances.

Sin Count: 39

Blue smiled. “Good to see you brother.” He looked over to Kydra. “You too Ky.” He smiled a bit.
Kydra walked over. “Hey Blue.” She nuzzled him a bit. He returned the greeting.

Taking off a sin for Kydrafang

Sin Count: 38

Broken glanced at the others, then back at Blue. “Are you ready?”
“As we’ll ever be.”
Zen emerged out of the vent. “There are about twenty six Tangos in there, including the boss,” he reported.
“Twenty six?!” Dagger exclaimed.

Again, why send Zen? I get that he’s small, but still.

Sin Count: 39

Also, why is Dagger worried now? He’s been excited about justified murder for past few minutes.

Sin Count: 40

“Yep,” Zen replied. “We’re twenty six to nine, or twenty six to eight if you don’t include Mantis.”

Math.

Sin Count: 41

Blue nodded. “Well, let’s cut’em down to nineteen. When I yell, ‘Checkmate’ we let loose. Until then, we take’em out silently.”

The hell are we reading? Hitman?

Sin Count: 42

“Good plan, Blue,” Broken said.
Blue nodded. “Alright, let’s do this.”
They opened the doors and crept into the wide room. There sat the hostage, a mare by the looks of it.
“There she is,” Kydra said looking at her.
“Alright. Let’s get her before they hurt her,” Blue stated. Soon they all spread out, and began taking out anyone who stood in their path.

The “damsel in distress” cliché.

Sin Count: 43

Zenex looked around the area and then took out a pony. After he discarded the trash, he noticed someone creeping up on Brokenwing. “Broken! Behind you!”
Broken turned around. “Crap!” he shouted, before knocking the figure in the head.

More OOC behavior.

Sin Count: 44

Also, why blow your cover? Just use your radio or have Mantis take them out.

Sin Count: 45

Dagger looked over. “Jigs up!” He rose up and fired.
“Checkmate!” Blue shouted, also rising up and firing.
“There it is!” Mitchell yelled. They all let loose and started attacking, satisfied with their new odds.

I think we get that your cover’s blown guys.

Sin Count: 46

Dagger and Kydra took cover together, not realizing that their legs were exposed. Before they knew it, an arrow tore past their legs, taking off some skin, but not piercing them.
“Aargh!” They both shouted before stumbling down.
“Ky! Dagger!” Blue yelled before running over, quickly followed by Stinger.
“You two alright?!” Stinger looked at their injured legs.
“Yeah, we’re fine… augh.” Kydra hissed in pain.

What are the odds that that would’ve even happened? It’s just lazy writing.

Sin Count: 47

Stinger stuck morphine needles into the legs and then carefully wrapped them up. “You’re both lucky it didn’t pierce your legs or bones entirely.”
“Obviously,” Dagger quipped.

Dagger would be great at HeroSins.

Sin Count: 48

“I’ll cover you!” Blue said, firing his crossbow.
After a while, Mitchell yelled, “Clear!”

Another plot advance. There’s way too many of these.

Sin Count: 49

Stinger helped the injured changelings up. “Come on, I’ll help you guys out of here. We gotta keep going.”

No duh.

Sin Count: 50

They helped over to the mare, who looked badly bruised. Broken got down beside her. “Hello miss. What’s your name?”
The mare looked up at him. “Who are you..?” she said weakly, recoiling at the sight of the changeling.
“Brokenwing.”
She looked at him some more. “You’re all… changelings… and not reformed…” she shuddered.

That’s racist.

Sin Count: 51

They looked at each other. “That doesn’t matter. We came here to help.” Broken untied her.
She smiled weakly. “Thank you… please, get me back to my family…”

So, they just forgave her?

Sin Count: 52

Broken was about to say something else when…
BOOM!
They all turned around. They saw a griffon holding a detonator. They quickly dropped him, but it was too late.
‘Hey guys! You better get out of there! There’s one heckuva fireworks display going on beneath you!’

Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious.

Sin Count: 53

“You heard him, guys. Let’s move out. Fast,” Blue said.
Before they knew it, the building was leaning, turning the once solid ground into a slope.

We interrupt Fangs and Gangs to bring you Call of Duty Ghosts.

Sin Count: 54

“Hold on!” Mitchell cried out.

Hang onto what?!

Sin Count: 55

“We gotta get outta here!”

No duh Mitchell.

Sin Count: 56

“We can’t fly through that smoke cloud! We’ll suffocate!” Stinger yelled. He looked around. “Grab the wounded!” Broken grabbed the mare while Stinger grabbed Dagger, and Hive grabbed Zen.

Stinger is pointing out more obvious things than Blue.

Sin Count: 57

The changelings kept trying to grab onto something. Blue looked down at the edge that was growing ever closer. Then he got an idea. “Grapples! Now!”
“On it!” they replied.
They fired their hooks before they fell off the side, much like a few unlucky ponies and griffons, only they were actually able to have somewhat safer support.

You lucky bastards.

Sin Count: 58

Blue looked over to Broken, who was carrying the mare, then to Stinger, who had Dagger. “You four alright?”
“So far so good,” Broken replied.
“Where’s Ky?”
“Right here.”
He looked over to see a small spider on his shoulder. “Uh… okay.” She changed into her normal form and held onto him. “Guess that’s everyone.”

Roll call.

Sin Count: 59

“Keep going!” Stinger said.
They continued to repel down the side of the building, watching for any obstacles.
‘Blue! Watch out!’
Blue looked up to see some debris falling towards him. He jumped out of the and nearly stumbled a bit, but he managed to regain his composure.
‘You alright?’
“Yeah, thanks for the call out. Missed me by an inch.”
‘No problem. Now get outta there before the building comes down on your heads.’
The repelling resumed. Mantis watched them as they made it down, calling out falling debris and directing them.
“We’re almost there, guys!” Mitchell called out, looking at the ground, which was getting closer.
‘Broken! Twelve o’clock high! Swing left!’
“Gah!” He swung away just as a huge chunk of metal and glass came pummeling down. He felt the mare tighten her grip on him. He looked back at her. “You alright?” She nodded. He nodded back. “Good call, Mantis! Thanks!”
‘Keep going! You’re almost there!’
They continued repelling down to the ground, where Shining Armor and the Royal Guard would be waiting. After a while, they’d finally reached the ground. They unhitched from their harnesses and walked over to the Royal Guards.

Taking a sin off because the writers didn’t skip ahead.

Sin Count: 58

“We… did it,” Zen said in disbelief, while breathing heavily.
“Yes we bucking did,” Hive replied, chuckling. He playfully rubbed Zen’s head and let him off.

Don’t think this is the time to be playing.

Sin Count: 59

“Well done, you lot,” Shining said as he trotted up to them. He helped the mare off of Broken. “You really saved a life today.”
“And we took a lot in the process,” Dagger muttered jokingly.

Well, he’s not wrong.

Sin Count: 60

The others chuckled at him. Blue looked at Shining. “Just doing our job. Right Fangs?”
“Hura!” they all cheered.

That’s a very American battlecry for a race that can speak Russian.

Sin Count: 61

Broken took a glance at the mare, who was wrapped in a blanket. He trotted over to her. “So, I uh… never got your name.”
She smiled. “Rose Petal…”
“Heh. Rose Petal… I’m uh, glad you made it out alive.”
“I sincerely don’t know how to thank you.”
“You don’t have to.” He smiled. “I hope you’ll be alright after this.”
Rose put a hoof on his shoulder. “I think I will be.”
He chuckled. “Okay.”

Taking off a sin for Brokenrose.

Sin Count: 60

The other Fangs smiled at the scene playing out. Dagger only rolled his eyes. “Psh. Get a room, you two.” The others looked at him. “Whaat?”

Adding another for Dagger.

Sin Count: 62

“Just let them have their moment,” Blue said. “Broken hasn’t been like this in a long time.”
“He’s never been like this. Or… has he?”
“Only time I’ve seen him like this was when he saw some mare in Canterlot. He was redder than a ruby.”
“You do know I can hear you two, right?” Broken glanced at Blue and Dagger.
“Hey man, he started it,” Dagger said.
Blue rolled his eyes. “Heheh… Sorry Broken, carry on.”

Broken’s come backs are as good as his wing.

Sin Count: 63

Broken chuckled. He looked back at Rose, who giggled shyly. “Sorry Rose, I just…”
She put a hoof back onto his shoulder.
He sighed. “I uh, don’t have the best luck with girls,” he admitted sadly. “I’ve tried going for other female changelings but um…” He sighed again. “Most don’t like me because of my right wing and the fact that I’m not reformed.”
“Aw, Broken…”
He looked down. “It’s okay. I understand if you’re not interested in me.”
“I am.”
He looked up. “Really?”
She nodded.

For once, there’s good character growth. Removing a sin.

Sin Counter: 62

As the two continued talking, Mitchell looked to Blue. Blue looked back. “Hey Mitch. Do you need something?”
“You wanna head back to the reformed hive soon?”
He nodded. “I’ll get Broken; you get the others.”
Mitchell nodded and walked off.

There’s the quick plot advance again.

Sin Count: 63

Blue walked over to Brokenwing and Rose. “Hey Broken?”
“Oh hey.”
Blue smiled. “We uh, gotta go. Say goodbye to Rose.”
Broken looked at her. “...Bye, I guess.”
She smiled. “Bye Broken.” She grabbed his hoof and softly kissed it.
Broken’s face went from its usual dark coal gray color to a bright red, almost as red as his fangs. “Tell you what. Meet me at the café tomorrow evening,” she said.
“Uh, I… okay,” he said, still blushing. She smiled before walking away.

D’aww.

Sin Count: 62

Blue smiled. “Aww! Broken!”
“Heheh… Tease about it all you want, little bro,” he said, still watching Rose walk away.
“Nah, that’s Dag’s job. I’m happy for you! You finally found a girl!” He hugged his older brother.
“Heh. Thanks, little bro.”
“Yeah. But we should probably get home. You got a date to get ready for,” Blue said.
“Heh. You said it.”
The two brothers walked back to the other Fangs, who were ready to leave. “Alright guys, let’s go,” Broken said, smiling. The nine changelings trotted back to the train station, which would take them back to the hive.

Removing a sin for double B.

Sin Counter: 61

As they waited there, Blue wondered aloud, “Say, I wonder how the brothers at home are holding up…”
They looked at him. “Why do you say that?” Kydra asked.
“Well…” he sighed, “Thorax was almost assassinated, and I’m just worried about him…” he looked down to the ground.
“Aw, Blue…” Broken wrapped a hoof around him. “We’ll hear more about it when we get there.”
“I guess… I just feel guilty about not being there to help. We were out robbing banks and trains and not worrying about our friends.”
“I know, buddy. I know,” Broken nuzzled up to his brother. “He’ll be okay.”
Blue nodded, still feeling guilty.
The changelings continued waiting for the train. After a while, it finally arrived. One by one, they boarded their ride home. I’m a few hours, they’d be home.

This is the first we get of MTCG in the "crossover". I feel ripped off.

Blue looked out the window, at the passing scenery. He watched the many countryside houses and trees pass by.
He sighed. He still felt guilty about not being there for his friend. Well, at least I know he’s still alive… but that’s all I know. He smiled a bit. He had to be optimistic as best he could be.
He curled up in his seat, shutting his eyes. It wasn’t as comfortable as a bed, but it was better than nothing.
I’ll be home soon, Thorax and Pharynx… Blue thought as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

I knew Blue is paranoid, but not this paranoid.

Sin Count: 62

Broken smiled as he watched his brother fall asleep.
He then looked down to his hoof—the one that Rose had kissed—blushing. He still couldn’t believe that she’d ask him out for tomorrow. He looked over to his little brother.
He lied down next to Blue, stroking his head. He snuggled up to his little brother as the train rode on. Soon, both brothers were fast asleep in each other’s hooves.

Removing a sin for brotherly love.

Sin Count: 61

Story Sin Tally: 61

Sentence: Trapped in the vent shafts. (Without Zenex)

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