Jul
7th
2020
Summertime Sadness · 11:38pm Jul 7th, 2020
It's summer. I live in a desert.
I wish I could write more, or just faster. I feel like I've been staring at the same paragraph for months, but it's only been days. I sit down to write, and then something pulls my attention away. I'm already so, so late on writing that thing I promised myself I'd do for Pride that I'm wondering if I need to shelve it for now and get back to the other stories I'm committed to working on.
The heat's just sapping all my energy these days.
I need to do something to kick myself back into high gear, but I just don't know how to motivate myself right now.
Oh. Legend of Trixie updates this Friday. Turns out a buffer was perfect for working on that... but now this heat is eating my buffer.
Sigh.
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Ninjadeadbeard · 149 views
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My methods to deal with that are either background music, like heavy storms, fireplaces or winter winds, a good coffee and writing in the middle of the night when nothing is happening, or just have a more important project that I’ve to complete but can't be asked to.
But hey, sometimes being stuck can help, I spent two days thinking what the fuck am I doing with this chapter and how it would affect the future and now I'm writing it with fresh ideas.
Don’t push yourself so hard, you’re worth the wait.
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I know, intellectually, that I can take a break or I can slow down and think about things whenever I want. But that doesn’t stop the anxiety from building every day and I’m not making progress on some thing. I already feel like I take enough days off as it is, to get stuff done in my own life.
It’s like a self perpetuating anxiety engine. Eventually I’ll achieve cold fusion neurosis and collapse into a black hole.
Venting helps. Talking with people helps, so thanks for taking the time.
I can agree with that. Hell with the way this year has been going so far it feels like every word is a complicated pregnancy .
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Yeah, I know how it feels, but taking it with humor is a good first step, I think.
Anytime you want and need man, one always needs venting to prevent unexpected explosions, no matter how dumb or insignificant the problem may be.
5303175
With me, it sometimes feels like I'm going too slow. I see writers pumping out like 2,3, or even more stories in a single week (some being featured), and I only wrote 2 new one-shots all of last month. Admittedly, some of those stories from writers that pump out stories in quick sessions have grammar errors that showed the speed it was written and released, but still.
Even though some of the attention is on an ongoing story that'll hit 100,000 words after 2 or three more chapters, it still feels like I'm going too slow sometimes. Blame it on being a slower writer and taking more time editing than I used to, I guess.
As for you, maybe you hit something of a rut? I know they can be a pain to break out of.
Hope things work out for you. Just relax and take your time and the words will come to you.
Although this is a community of writers, I often feel that the writing process itself often feels like a lonely endeavor—because, most of the time, it is. (Some people try to alleviate it by livestreaming their writing, but they're the exception, not the rule.) Even with editors and pre-readers, it's still all one-sided: they're doing their thing on their own, without the writer in the same room as they are in.
Still, an accountability or writing partner via chat or PM can help. You may think that venting on your blog here 24/7 isn't a good idea, but if you've got a close buddy here to vent to whenever you want to without shame (and they'll understand because they most likely will understand where you're coming from, having encountered similar things themselves), then I think you should take it.
To be honest, I also wish that I wrote faster: though I write or edit/revise every day (except Sundays), I'm a one-track soul—work on one story until a major phase of it is done before I move on to anything else. Couple that with my difficulty in writing short stories and one-shots, and it's easy for me to feel more like a surprise guest than a regular customer here.
Another thing to consider is that work alone isn't the end-all-be-all of life. Relaxation and rest are a part of life, especially when taken in moderation. If you feel like you're taking too much but you can't seem to get yourself up to it, try adding a little hard habit to your life: maybe lengthen your exercise a bit more to build up some discipline to get through the heat. The possibility that you've got a sickness should also not be dismissed: a check-up, after all, can tell you why you're tired like that and how to beat it.
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Yeah, the process can eat away at your sanity. Especially when what's in your head doesn't want to come out on the page. Seriously, that Pride story has gone from 400 words... to 800 over the course of a week. I think my first big story on here was fully written in that time, and that was 20k words. I'm just... struggling this week.
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Livestreaming... huh. I have never considered that. And I never will again. I feel bad just writing alone, let alone with other people watching me write! The rest of what you said is good though. I know I should just walk away for a while, even just a day or two. But it's hard admitting that.
I'm guessing it being a dry heat doesn't really help.
I know exactly how you feel; I've been going through a rough patch lately. It's okay if you need to take a break, we understand. and if people don't, that's their problem.