Kill Your Darlings · 10:46pm Jun 24th, 2020
What an awful year.
It's a very strange thing, to wake up and 'commute' 10 feet across the room to work. To pull up the news, and think that I must be in an episode of Fringe, or the first act of a Roland Emmerich film.
By comparison to many, I'm blessed. I still have fulfilling work that supports me. I still have family close-by to isolate with, if only for a while longer.
They say moving is a trauma equivalent to a death in the family, or a fire, for some. I find aspects of it exciting, but boy is it exhausting and stressful, getting ready to sell a house. I never expected it to happen, but it has consumed the last year and a half; Getting my folks and their house ready, so that they can go to greener pastures (I dream of following soon... I've always wanted to live among mountains).
I've learned to do so many things that would have once seemed very intimidating; Flooring, Roofing, Painting, Window repair, Plumbing, Basic Electrical, Appliance Repair...
And somewhere in the middle of all this; Watching, praying, fretting over a world that seems to be going down the tubes, and learning so many new skills, juggled together with all the great projects at work, I've changed and grown. I've read more, and watched more, and written a little for smaller side projects.
Now, I've finished a re-read of my main works here; A task I was starting to dread. In the end, I found some cringe-worthy beginner errors, as I knew I would. But I unexpectedly also fell in love with my characters all over again, and I found more that I am willing to say I'm proud of, than not.
I still feel a compulsion, a need, to close the loop and finish the last of my Hegira trilogy. I still plan to.
First, I'm going to start by passing through Books 1 and 2 again, beginning tonight, and nibbling away at them with any spare time I can muster. I have more of it now that 99/100 of my renovation tasks are complete with the house.
I'll be looking for any extremely overt grammatical errors, spelling errors, missing letters in words that never got caught, etc etc...
But I'll also be doing my best to Kill My Darlings. I not only have a better grasp of these characters than ever before, but I also know more about writing than I did when I began.
Though 99% of major plot details are not going to change, I'm going to trim a little dialogue fat here and there, address some clunkiness/cringe in a few spots, cut some (but not all, you'll never pry it all away from me darn it! I'm too much a Trekkie!) technobabble, patch 5 or 6 continuity errors... And I'm going to make some adjustments to a few key moments in Book 2.
Anyone who's read it will have their opinions, hopefully strong, hopefully not all in agreement either. I want my writing to provoke thought, and debate. But I also want to stay true to my characters, and there is a difference between showing protagonist flirting with the line of morally gray actions, being a hardass badass, and crossing over into just being a jackass.
Fyrenn's characterization definitely suffered from a combination of intense exhaustion, and interpersonal burnout and anger on my part, that were going on as Eternal Delta was being finished. They say not to go to bed angry, drive angry, or shop for groceries when you're hungry.
I think it's ok to write angry/stressed/tired, but I think you should never *proof* angry, stressed, or tired. Waiting until you cool off, and have a clear head allows you to sculpt with finer tools and a steadier claw/hoof/hand/paw.
I have a chance to go back now, and not only re-immerse myself in this world, and these characters, but also to create a 'director's cut,' with the benefit of hindsight and a little more (only a little) maturity as a writer.
That will then provide a perfect launch rail to get me back into finishing Book 3. Once and for all.
I increasingly feel a need to finish, not only to do my characters the service of an ending, but also to free myself.
If you're the same must-finish-what-I-started type, you'll understand what I mean when I say that I can't start anything new, not really, until what's old is done.
What does this mean to you, any readers who still care at this stage?
If you are a casual reader, you don't need to do anything except wait for Book 3. I thank you for your patience! At least I'm not as bad as George RR.
If you're a really detail oriented reader, or just hated Fyrenn's characterization in the back half of ED, then you might be interested in a re-read of one or both books. I'll post again to indicate completion of my edits.
If you're a super-fan (and I'm not self important enough to think I have any, but I'm also not pessimistic enough or humble enough to assume I don't) then reach out by PM, as I'm always looking for folks to bounce ideas off of, get feedback/pre-reading from, etc. I'm not shy about giving access to Book 3 early, if someone wants to help with that too.
If you're still with me thus far, thank you once again for your patience.
And I wish everyone safety, and hope, as the year spirals on to the inevitable end of civilization as we know it.
~GG
Nice to hear from you again. I am very interested in seeing how book three happens. Good luck on your writing!
Hmmmmm. All good things must eventually come to an end but the next great thing is around the bend. But you need to reach that ending before the next great thing can come. :D
Glad to hear you are alive and well. I'm not on much anymore but sometimes i just want to re-visit good friends and i'm looking forward to my visit with wrenn/fryenn