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TheClownPrinceofCrime


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Jun
17th
2020

My Review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (OUTDATED) · 11:10am Jun 17th, 2020

Rating Scale
12/10—a complete
masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; might not watch it again but still happy I watched it for the first time
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made

*********


Hey, fellas. Here is my review for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.When I saw the trailers for this movie, The Fallen’s face on the posters, and Demolisher in those trailers (whom I thought was The Fallen at the time), I was heavily hyped for the film. After enjoying the first film which I still do to this day, I was really looking forward to watching the movie in theaters. In 2009, I went to the movie theater with my dad and watched the film; at the time, I was blown away by its “awesomeness”. I also loved the ROTF toyline as well (which were quite better than the first toyline). My mom and sister watched the film at home, and from what I remember, they didn’t like it at all (none of them are Transformers fans btw).

I honestly haven’t watched the movie in years. It wasn’t until last year or so that I watched it again. Everything the fans complained about were predominantly present throughout the movie. And boy was I unimpressed. But then again, I was recently like, “Well, maybe I’ll give it a second chance. It might have some form of decency therein, right? So I’ll watch it again.” Just last night, I watched the full movie. It... didn’t work for me. At first, I simply disliked it, but now I downright hate it. No beating around the bush:


1). The prologue retconned the whole reason the Transformers came to earth. Optimus established that they arrived on earth for their search of the Allspark since it landed there. Here, he says that ancient Cybertronians came to earth during... pre-historic times? They were storing energon in Star Harvesters? Why aren’t they searching for the Allspark?!

2). The Fallen was this brand new villain never mentioned or established from the first movie, and is given the most poorly written motivations for revenge. “Revenge of The Fallen”? How about the revenge of those who have fallen? Like Megatron for example? Why did they even bring The Fallen in this? He lacks depth of character, lacks adequate screen time, and is just so boring. “Only a Prime can kill me!” Umm, Megatron killed a Prime, so does that make him more powerful than his master?

3). It would’ve been better if Starscream was the main villain. If they had taken elements from The Reign of Starscream IDW comics, Starscream would’ve been a much better written character and antagonist! He’s even in one of the film’s promo posters for crying out loud!! Instead, they made him a complete sycophant and a chicken (figuratively and literally lol).

4). Megatron was... okay. I like his second design way more than the first one, and I love the fact he had almost ten minutes of screen time (even more than The Fallen had). But him groveling at his master’s feet was... unusual. However... it somewhat works. I saw it like this: The Fallen as Darth Sideous, Megatron as Count Dooku, and Starscream as General Grievous. However, what was the point of saying “There is no command but mine!” if you are sucking off The Fallen’s bolts off? That’s just bad writing.

5). The camera kept rotating constantly!!! It was sooo irritating to see it spin around certain scenes like Optimus Prime’s transformation or Megatron and Starscream talking with each other.

6). Too many characters that were just forgettable. It did introduce me to Sideswipe for the first time, and for that alone I’m grateful.

7). The incessant sex jokes were downright cringey. Also, why did we need to see Agent Simmons’ ass on camera??

8). Skids and Mudflap were the worst parts of the whole film. I hate those immature idiots, their stupid jokes, and their dumbness despite them being advanced robots. Tom Kenny and Reno Wilson were wasted in their roles. Is this what Michael Bay thinks of teenage African-Americans? Talk about racist stereotypes...

9). The Pretender Decepticon named Alice was not needed. Seeing her seducing Sam was... illogical. What was her motivation in doing that? Wouldn’t it be better to just kill him instantly? Clearly, she saw him write down the ancient symbols of the Allspark both in the party and in class!!! She didn’t THINK about extracting that information from him or even interrogate him??

10). Sam, Mikala, and his parents were at their worst points. I’m sure those actors and actresses were cringing in the inside when they read the “script” (not script) for this film. Sam mistreating Bumblebee like a dog? Judy eating pot brownies? Leo having his underwear down after leaving the bathroom? Sam’s professor hitting on female college students like a pervert? I even gave the middle finger at the screen when Sam and Mikala were having their “romantic moments”. COME ON!!!!

11). The Constructicons were both the best and the worse at the same time. They had some of the best designs of them all (except for Devastator’s scrotum), yet they had very little personality and minimal screen time! Demolisher and Mixmaster are the only Bayverse Constructicons I actually like.

12). Most of the humor was forced and not funny. I legit laughed only once.

13). The military did the most damage in the final battle while the Autobots contributed almost NOTHING to the fight!! Why bring the Autobots if the military can handle the Decepticons themselves? It’s just pointless.

14). Why would you even scold Bumblebee for saving your ungrateful life, Sam? Those little Decepti-twats were trying to kill you, yet that’s how you thank him?! You guys see why I hate this character?

15). Galloway was, in Epps’ words, a complete asshole. He had no respect for the N.E.S.T team or for the Autobots. His nasty and rude attitude made me want to punch the screen when he showed up. He even had the audacity to call Optimus’s dead body “a pile of scrap metal”. That line alone angered me so much. Thankfully, Shockwave killed Galloway in the comics. Lennox throwing him off the plane was the BEST part of the whole movie.

16). The final battle was anticlimactic and average.

17). Jetfire was decent, but he was seriously wronged in this film. Why didn’t he go with the humans to find the Matrix? He acts all cranky and stuff until he falls down and... farts a parachute. Seriously, Mr. Bay 😑?? You might as well do that to Shockwave’s face 🙄.

18). Dogs humping each other............ I have no words.

19). Wheelie humping Megan Fox’s leg... how hot 🙄(sarcasm).

20). The action scenes were good but not that great. The forest battle was awesome at first, but now I’m bored of it.

21). How is it that Sam—a human being—went to the Matrix (robot heaven)? That just doesn’t make any sense at all. Also, if the Matrix of Leadership can only be earned, then what was the point of the Primes hiding it from The Fallen? Why did they even need to kill themselves for that matter? Did he earn it by using it for his evil purposes?

22). Worst of all the things I’ve mentioned... OPTIMUS PRIME DIES WITH LESS DIGNITY THAN HIS DEATH IN THE 1986 FILM!! Unlike in the original film, he is killed with no impact on the characters and is tossed to the ground with no respect like a bag of rocks. Sam and Optimus barely interact that much in this movie. Sam first tells him that he (Optimus) doesn’t need him (Sam), but now he’s willing to put blood, sweat, and tears in finding a way to revive Optimus?? NO!


I rate this a 1/10. This movie sucked gorilla balls, and I will never watch this filth ever again. Thoughts? I’ve ranted enough.




Peace.

Comments ( 16 )

I had a problem with how certain Decepticons like the one in Shanghai got killed off too quickly.
I remember playing the game first and that certain Decepticon from Shanghai(I don't remember the name of that guy but he took the form of some car) and he was featured kind of prominently but when I saw him in the actual movie, he only got like a minute or so of screentime before being swiftly killed off like he's one of those faceless mooks you fight in the Transformers games based on the movies.

5286603
The car robot you’re speaking of is Sideways. The other Decepticon you mention is Demolisher.

5286626
Thanks.
I remember Sideways got some spotlight in the game but I remember going "What?" when he actually just appeared only for a minute or so but gets quickly killed off in the movie.
That kind of baffled me.

Never understood why they used profanity in this one.

I would've loved to share my thoughts on this abomination of a movie, but you pretty much summed up every single problem I have with it.

5286677
Thank you. This movie made me wish I was watching Dark of the Moon.

5286649
Michael Bay is your answer... not that I had a problem with it.

5286690
I did. Had to wait years to watch it.

5286687
Yeah, I have to admit, Revenge of the Fallen does make Dark of the Moon look like a masterpiece.

My favorite part was Devastator transforming.

5286693
Exactly. Also, another thing. That ray gun that killed Devastator? They used it just for him, yet none of them even THOUGHT about using it on the Star Harvester or The Fallen! :facehoof:

5286695

I liked that part too except...

“I am directly below... ENEMY SCROTUM!!”

Great scene, right?! :facehoof:

5286697
Spawned a meme there pretty much.

5286696
Agreed. Also, I know I said this before but I'm going to say it again, how come a piece of the AllSpark can transfer Cybertronian symbols to Sam's brain but nothing happened when Sam was holding the entire cube during the climax of the first movie?

5286833
Yup. It really pains me the more I even try to think about it.

5286697
I also liked the Megatron resurrection scene and the flashback of the Fallen.

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