PONID-21 Day 13 · 1:05am Jun 17th, 2020
#day-13
Bob 1/18/2021 6:03 AM
I got bigger overnight. It's really hard to type now, but I'm going to anyway because you're all my friends. Peter, the doc who's trying to work out ways to measure me, thinks I've almost doubled in height again. Wherever I walk on the grass, I leave impacts just from my weight, not that he can work that out. I'm also really hungry. Meat isn't cutting it. What do dragons eat?
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:10 AM
Do you want to talk about what happened? I could do an interview with you if you like?
#general
Bob 1/18/2021 6:14 AM
Wrong chat, @Celeste. That room's for change reports. I'll do an interview.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:16 AM
Whoops! Okay, that'll be great. When do you want to do it? After breakfast?
Bob 1/18/2021 6:17 AM
Yeah.
One condition.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:19 AM
What's that?
Bob 1/18/2021 6:21 AM
This sounds crazy, but I want to try eating your helicopter.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:24 AM
I don't have a problem with that. Do it on camera and it'd be great.
Why?
Bob 1/18/2021 6:29 AM
Docs don't know what to feed me. Meat's not cutting it. I figure if my saliva can melt steel and glass, why not try eating them?
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:30 AM
Well, I'll double check with my network, but I think they'll be fine with it. They weren't happy I crashed it, or that we're stuck in here, but my boss didn't for a second hint I was fired. This job, I swear…
Bob 1/18/2021 6:35 AM
It will probably get more interesting when you change.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:36 AM
Yeah. Doctor Simpson tried to get me to focus on that, but there's more important things right now. I want to document all this and film it. I want YOUR stories. I don't have time to freak out.
Bob 1/18/2021 6:38 AM
Doctor Simpson? Wait, you mean @Karen?
Hey, I'm cool with that, but if you need help, just ask. Got it?
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:41 AM
She's in chat here? That's a first. Normally psychs are all kinds of removed from their work. If anyone else wants an interview and wants to tell their story, send me a message. And I mean anyone.
Bob 1/18/2021 6:44 AM
Just so long as you don't edit this.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:45 AM
What if I give each a copy of their unedited video? Would that help?
Bob 1/18/2021 6:51 AM
Yeah. Talk to @Lisa and @Penny about it, though. They're the smart ones here.
Penny 1/18/2021 6:52 AM
You need a noodle?
Oh, reading backlog.
Okay. I think most people would be cool with that, you need to talk to @Lisa about the tech side of things.
Celeste 1/18/2021 6:58 AM
Right. Is she going to magically log on now you've pinged her name?
Penny 1/18/2021 7:00 AM
Nope. She's still sleeping, something I'd be doing if I'd been up all night stargazing with a dragon.
Bob 1/18/2021 7:02 AM
😛
Penny 1/18/2021 7:03 AM
She's not still out there is she?"
Bob 1/18/2021 7:05 AM
I sent her to bed earlier. We weren't up that late.
Penny 1/18/2021 7:06 AM
Of course not. Don't know what I was thinking! What with you being such an old man… you need all the sleep you can get.
Bob 1/18/2021 7:08 AM
Maybe I should try eating noodles instead of metal?
Penny 1/18/2021 7:09 AM
Eating a noodle's noodle? Bob! Lisa said not to talk dirty in chat!
Bob 1/18/2021 7:10 AM
🤣
Have some breakfast and then we'll do the interview, @Celeste.
Celeste 1/18/2021 7:10 AM
Thanks.
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:05 AM@Penny @Bob Keep that to private messages, please?@Celeste I think I'll try to catch you for breakfast so we can chat. Try to bring your camera guy too.
*News desk with a woman sitting behind it in a modern business suit.*
"… will shortly cross to our reporter on location in Alrude Biotech's testing lab where the promising COVID-19 immunization was entering its final trials. The trials have, according to an Alrude Biotech statement, been terminated and the patients it was being tested on are convalescing at the company's expense.
"It was assumed we'd have to wait to speak to any of them, but thanks to our own Celeste Cunningham, we'll have a unique view inside the facility and spend some time with the patients as they tell their— I'm being told Celeste is about to go live. Celeste, can you hear me?"
Celeste Cunningham's picture appeared static at first, then after a crackle it animated and the reporter smiled. Behind her was a blue-gray pattern that looked a little like a waterfall. "Thank you, Becky. You'll have to forgive my attire, but things have been a little trying of late."
"Somehow, Celeste, you always manage to put a positive spin on things," the newsroom reporter said. "Now it's over to you and your interviewee, one Robert Cowell."
"It's just Bob." Bob's voice was deep, booming, and almost overwhelmed the ability for the professional mic on Harvey's gear to adapt. "I'm sorry about the helicopter."
"I should introduce you properly, Bob. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Bob." As Celeste spoke, the camera zoomed out but held focus.
First to be seen was the desk Celeste was sitting at that had a microphone that'd been out of view moments ago. The more that was revealed, however, the more blue-gray background was visible until new shapes started to become apparent. An elbow bigger than Celeste, a wrist thicker around than a car, and finally talons that were all longer than six feet.
Still the camera panned back, and still more of Bob became visible. His size was no longer something a person could easily comprehend as alive. He was physically larger than any creature that had lived on Earth. He turned his head from the profile he'd been holding to look directly at the camera.
It would have been easy to discount Bob as being CGI or a huge puppet—until he opened his mouth. "Hi." A puff of sulfurous smoke left his lips and nose when he finished the single word, and there was a slight glow from deep inside his mouth. What shattered any illusions that he was a fake was how much of him moved along with his words—and it was all in glorious 8K HD through a camera designed to pick out every contour of every scale in exquisite detail.
"We interrupted Bob at an inopportune moment last time, and he wasn't in a mood to give an interview, but he promised a little chat for us today. Let's start with a little about yourself. Where did you grow up?"
"Maine. Near Portland. Took after my dad laying bricks. When I saw this test needed people who hadn't caught COVID, I gave them a call. Building industry was dead and I was living off savings anyway. Might as well do something for my country and earn some dollars, right?" The raw pressure coming from Bob's lungs caused the grass between the camera and him to flow like the surface of a river. A small charred patch right before his head formed and the grass there was already turning black. "That's when things got odd."
Celeste seemed to take his pause as her cue. "Things got odd how?"
"Everyone started changing. A lot of them had problems with their hands and feet, some started growing fur and feathers, most were shrinking." Bob shook his head just a little, which is to say the huge horns he sported were waving nearly six feet side to side with the small gesture. "Not me. I got scales. I got bigger. My sight seemed strange at first, but we figured that out. I can see how hot things are."
"That's a lot of changes. How does it feel to have been changed like this? What are your feelings toward the research staff?"
The grass before Bob's face now crackled and visibly started to show signs of embers. "This wasn't their fault. They were doing their jobs. Everything passed the safety tests and they've done nothing but help us through this." As he spoke, Bob seemed to show more of his impressive teeth, then all the building anger seemed to drain out. "But it's been a little lonely. No one else is changing this much. There is another dragon, but she's tiny. Human-sized. No matter what, though, they all work to keep me grounded. I'm still a person. I'm still human."
Celeste didn't need to tell her cameraman to zoom in on the tears in Bob's eyes. "No one would dispute that, Bob. No one. Onto a different topic, I understand you've had trouble finding a food source?"
The camera quickly zoomed back out as Bob reached on huge talon up to rub one eye then the other. The effect made it apparent that one of Bob's eyes was slit and alien while the other looked completely human. "I am. We are, I mean. Everyone here's helping, but nothing I eat is more than a drop in the bucket. At my size, that's a big bucket."
"And that's why we've offered you something a little different to try. Your doctors made particular notes about your highly acidic and extremely hot digestive system. It's not hard to put two and two together and assume you need something a little tougher than normal food." Celeste still wore a big smile as she spoke, remaining calm. Gesturing to the side, somehow out of the huge frame she was in, Celeste's motion was tracked by the camera to show they were set up beside the hosed-down wreckage of the helicopter. "Which is why we offered our late helicopter."
With his back-end out of shot now to get the helicopter wreckage in frame, Bob reached out one of his hands and visually hesitated a moment. "Are you sure about this? I mean, it might be…"
The hesitation was the first sign of something unrehersed in the feed. Bob looked at the broken machine with uncertainty while Celeste's expression didn't change at all. "Go ahead, Bob. It's all yours."
One of Bob's big hands reached out and broke a bent rotor blade from the helicopter. "I guess I'll start with this."
Celeste didn't so much as flinch as Bob's teeth sliced through aluminum, steel, and titanium as if they were nothing but paper. After chewing for a few moments, Bob swallowed the first bite he'd taken, then froze. "How is it, Bob?"
"This is great!" Bob took a far more enthusiastic bite out of the rotor and started reaching for another.
The camera panned back and zoomed in on Celeste as the sounds of distressed metal twisting, compressing, and being sliced filled the air. "Well, there you have it. It turns out dragons won't be hunting down herds of sheep anytime soon. Back to you, Becky."
As the picture cut to the studio again, the news anchor sitting in her chair looked stunned for almost two seconds before returning to full animation. "Thank you, Celeste, for a most interesting look at life within quarantine. Once again, I'd like to assure viewers that our crew are all fine and the patients involved in the medical trial are being quarantined until judged safe to leave."
#general
Bob 1/18/2021 12:09 PM
Just want to give a huge thanks to @Celeste for that. You freaking rock. If you need to get some shots from the air, you know the dragon to ask. Got it?
Celeste 1/18/2021 12:12 PM
You got it. I'm not sure how Harvey would deal with the camera gear, but I think it'd be great to get some aerial shots.
Bob 1/18/2021 12:16 PM
That fuel wasn't bad either. It was a bit like hot sauce. What'd James call it?
James 1/18/2021 12:17 PM
JET A. If it's too hot, you might want to try avgas instead.
Am I really discussing what fuel tastes the hottest to a dragon?
Bob 1/18/2021 12:20 PM
I could probably take hotter, but my burps might get explosive. The hydraulic fluid was more like mayonnaise. It was there, and it had some flavor, but it wasn't exactly exploding all over my mouth.
James 1/18/2021 12:21 PM
I'm still not sure if you should drink that or not. It's pretty nasty stuff.
Bob 1/18/2021 12:24 PM
If it causes a problem, it'll be good to know something can.
Interview with Penny DeSanto
female
age 28Transcript of conversation with notes added from my clipboard.
PD (Penny DeSanto): I don't think I can do this.
Notes: Penny is currently forming a figure-eight shape in the air and constantly twirling through the pattern. If I didn't feel so damn good about everything today, it might have been a problem.
KS (Dr. Karen Simpson): Do what, Penny?
PD: Stop myself from destroying the world. Keep being me. I don't know, Karen, what do you think I could do today?
KS: You could talk to me, and you seem to have that one covered already.
PD: This is not the time for comedy, doc, I'm literally flipping out right now.
Notes: It was right then that Penny did a back-flip from midair only to land on a chair.
PD: There's too much potential. You saw what I can do with just snapping my fingers, right? It's completely impossible to explain, but it will be easiest if I just do it like this.
Notes: This is hard to talk about and even harder to write. I know this happened, I experienced this happening, and if I'm locked up for committing it to paper later, I probably deserve it. She held up her paw and snapped her fingers (toes, whatever).
Notes: Penny DeSanto appeared beside me wearing a beatup cap and a pair of overalls. She held the handle of a gas pump in one hand. The sign on the pump read "Knowledge", and I couldn't even think what to say before she literally shoved the nozzle of the pump in my ear.
Notes: It should have been pure agony, just from the physical trauma, but it didn't hurt in the least. When she pulled the handle on the pump, everything became clear.
Notes: The world was reduced to events. Actions happening because rules stated they had to act that way. Then there was Penny, and when she snapped her fingers, those actions changed to ones she wanted to happen.
Notes: Nearly an hour had passed of silence on the recorder. I don't even know the full extent of it, but she'd been right; that had been the easiest way to make me understand.
KS: That…
PD: No charge on the first hit, doc. You get it now?
Notes: I did. I definitely got her now. She was raw potential. So long as an action in this universe had two or more possible outcomes, Penny DeSanto was a god.
KS: Yeah, I think I understand. Maybe a book would be better next time?
PD: But then I couldn't offer you a wax and a shine.
KS: You haven't done anything untoward.
PD: I just shoved a gas pump in your ear.
KS: And I give you my consent to do it again if you feel you must.
PD: Okay, that's monstrous. Don't give me permission to do things. Give me an inch and I'll take a mile!
KS: You don't get to limit how much I trust you, Penny. You saved lives just days ago, you helped me understand the extent of your problem. For a noodle, I think you're doing pretty good on the supreme part.
PD: But I could turn you inside-out or make you not exist anymore just like…
Notes: She stared at her paw in terror. Stark, brutal terror. Her fingers were on the verge of snapping, and I knew what would happen if they did. But hey, if you're reading this, you know she didn't. Or she did and has a way to bring people back.
KS: But you won't.
PD: I almost did.
KS: But you didn't.
PD: I didn't.
Notes: More time passed. I wanted Penny to come to the answer herself rather than me giving it to her. This let me spend a little more time getting the new information she'd given me in order.
PD: I'm not evil.
KS: And?
PD: I can do anything and everything, but all I want to do is help my friends. That's not evil. That's not even misbehaving. It feels like I should misbehave at least a little.
KS: Do something selfish. Something just for you.
Notes: Penny looked down at herself for a moment and she held her breath. Holding up her paw again, she snapped her fingers. It had looked like nothing was different at first, but something had. In every way, in every part of her form, she looked female.
Notes: She had a slightly more pronounced heft at the top of her ribcage, her hips seemed a little rounder, and her face a little less… I'll have to ask her for a photograph to put on file.
PD: Oh. My. ME! This is so much better!
Notes: Penny did a series of loops in the room, twirling around and around and, at one point, tying an actual knot in her tail.
PD: I'm me again! This is great!
KS: It feels better? Will this stick?
PD: Who cares if it doesn't. I can fix it again with a snap of my fingers! Hey, doc, do you want to be a guy?
KS: I'm fine how I am right now.
PD: Pfft. That's not how this virus works, doc. I can tell you what you're going to get. No gas pumps this time, I promise.
KS: Alright, Penny, what am I going to…
PD: Unicorn! You get a cool horn and magic and all sorts of stuff. But I have bad news for you if you're attached to your…
KS: Penny, thanks, but at the same time I think I'll just take it as it comes.
Notes: My personal thoughts on her information will not be recorded here. In fact, I think at this point I can terminate this log because the rest is personal.
Post session notes: Penny DeSanto is by far the sanest god I've ever met. She continues to leak mental issues, but she deals with them in healthy ways and has the tightest moral compass of anyone I know. Would I be able to resist absolute power? I won't answer that here.
—Doctor Simpson
#day-13
Penny 1/18/2021 3:03 PM
Haha! I worked it out! I'm a girl-noodle! Chocolates for everyone!
#general
Steven 1/18/2021 3:03 PM
The hell? I just had a box of chocolates appear in front of me.
Suzy 1/18/2021 3:04 PM
Good chocolates. What gives?
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:04 PM@Penny
Penny 1/18/2021 3:05 PM
CHOCOLATES FOR EVERYONE!
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:05 PM@Penny stop!
One box is cool and all, but I don't need ten.
Bob 1/18/2021 3:06 PM
Do these have diamonds inside them?
Penny 1/18/2021 3:06 PM
Figured if you like steel and stuff, you'd love the hardest stones.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM
Bob 1/18/2021 3:07 PM
They're great!
Steve 1/18/2021 3:09 PM
How about some alfalfa too?
Penny 1/18/2021 3:10 PM
I wouldn't normally do requests, but I feel on top of the world right now! Supreme noodle powers activate!
You couldn't hear it, but I just snapped my toe-beans right now and there's a huge stack of alfalfa outside. Also, it's a little purple, but it won't affect the taste.
Steve 1/18/2021 3:13 PM
Can confirm it is purple, it is alfalfa, and it is delicious. You the best noodle, Penny!
Penny 1/18/2021 3:14 PM
I know.
Hey, how about some pie?
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:14 PM
A geek noodle at that.
Penny 1/18/2021 3:15 PM
Come on. I'm barely a nerd. Don't go using labels on noodles.
Mike 1/18/2021 3:17 PM
Wait, pie? Oh! 3:14!
—private-message—
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:20 PM
Look at you nerding it up. How have you been, Mike? I haven't seen you around much lately.
Mike 1/18/2021 3:22 PM
Yeah, I sorta get carried away reading lately. Plus I've been practicing magic with Trent, err @Rex in here.
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:23 PM
Sally's been pretty into magic too. Maybe you should try getting her in on your study sessions?
Mike 1/18/2021 3:24 PM
You're kidding, right? Every time we talk to her, she tells us to leave her alone.
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:26 PM
Huh. I'll have a talk with her. She seemed to be struggling with the mental changes, but last time we chatted she seemed better.
Mike 1/18/2021 3:27 PM
I can come with you if you want. We're all in this together.
Lisa 1/18/2021 3:28 PM
Can you announce a unicorn meeting then? Maybe all of you together might make it less of a singled-out thing?
Mike 1/18/2021 3:30 PM
Okay, sent a ping out to everypony who's a unicorn. We're going to meet for a chat after dinner.
#general
Suzy 1/18/2021 5:30 PM
Special tonight! Alfalfa burgers! Thank @Penny!
Ass 1/18/2021 5:31 PM
You still have actual burgers, right?
Suzy 1/18/2021 5:33 PM
Yeah yeah. Still plenty of meat for the meataterians.
Bob and Kat can get their own, our resident bugs can keep eating whatever it is they eat. Penny, you get a big plate of pasta.
Penny 1/18/2021 5:34 PM
NOODLES FOR THE NOODLE GOD!
—private-message—
Karen 1/18/2021 8:30 PM
How'd it go?
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:32 PM
You heard about it? I take it Mike told you?
Karen 1/18/2021 8:33 PM
I have my sources. How is she?
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:35 PM
She wasn't doing so hot. She was scared everypony hated her, she was withdrawing from her friends, and she thought she was right.
Also, she's scary-good with her magic.
Karen 1/18/2021 8:38 PM
There's a lot of that going around.
I don't suppose you'd be up for a hug?
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:39 PM
OMW, Karen. You in your room?
Karen 1/18/2021 8:40 PM
Yeah.
#general
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:40 PM@Penny can you sort out movie night tonight?
Penny 1/18/2021 8:42 PM
Yes, wing-sergeant! All non-noodles, and @everyone else, please assemble outside so we can watch movies and hug dragons.
—private-message—
Lisa 1/18/2021 8:44 PM
Thanks, Penny.
Penny 1/18/2021 8:45 PM
For my friends? It's really no problem at all.
To Lisa: Can you tell the writer behind the curtain they're awesome and give them a hug for us?
P.S. If you can't find them I'll bet Penny can. ;)
"Writer? What the—"
"I totally got this. Okay, they're sitting at their PC typing everything I say. Say. Say say say. Poop. I'm literally controlling their hands! This is amazing! I AM A GOD! Oh, here we go, I gave them a headpat. Is that fine?" Penny asked.
So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.
Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!
Join me on Discord. Please use your FimFic name as an alias. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.
Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ender Voidwalker
KFS Crimson
Sirion123
Vi Watch
And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Lab
Good point. Not like they know how... well, anything might impact him.
Pony is one hell of a drug.
... Out of how many?
And looks like they just managed to pull Sally out of an especially dark pit. Thank goodness for that. This little community needs all the togetherness it can get. This may be the best possible way to introduce them to the wider world, but that's no guarantee of it going well.
But seriously, Dr. Simpson, is this just comparing Penny to divine exploits in mythology or have you treated other gods?
Ask Bob: Now that you know you can eat helicopter. Would you try to expand your horizon on other vehicles? I heard there are some plane graveyards that are in need of scraping.
5286374
Is that a question?
5286374
you would be amazed how many mental disorders revolve around beliveing yourself to be divinity.
5286387
Oh, it absolutely is.
5286393
See, that's the sane, rational, and much more likely explanation. As opposed to the fun one.
Headpats are good Penny, and crossing dimensions to do so is quite a feat. But we both know that’s not nearly as good as a Lisa hug. Thanks for trying though ;)
(Always fun to get your comment chosen!)
How long were you sitting on that line? :D
5286482 I'll never say.
I freaking love this!!!
Alas, the timestamp on Penny's message wasn't granular enough to show that it was also sent exactly 15.92... seconds into the minute.
My headcanon is that past a certain size, they don’t need to eat at all. They subsist on the magic in their own bodies, which they replenish while sleeping. That’s why they sometimes take century-long naps.
That’s the only way I can make sense of their existence. Cause let’s face it, Torch could eat literal mountains.
5335451 There's plenty of inorganic chemistry that could lean on breaking down metals/minerals for energy. I normally lean toward that as being the source of their chemical energy.