All Good Things… What’s Age Gotta Do, Gotta Do With It? · 11:10pm Jun 8th, 2020
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8th June 2020
Hello, Chaps and Chapettes,
Happy Monday! What’s left of it, anyway. Tell you what, it’s been one of those days when you cannot help but reflect on the past. It had been coming all weekend actually, what with friends discussing everything from the Pick n Mix at Woolworths, films like Land Before Time and American Tail, TV shows like the Rugrats and Doug, and those funny attachable showers you could get for bathtub taps where, if you turned the tap on too fast, it would force off and spray you with devilishly cold or hot water.
(photo: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Betterware-Double-Tap-Shower-Attachment/dp/B006UCW57I )
It’s strange to me to think that there are adults today who have never experienced the same childhood as me. The 90s still feel like they were less than ten years ago, we’re already into a new decade far beyond it. However, you may also be from a generation beyond mine, in the distant past where moon boots and tall hair were the crazes, or teddy boy hairstyles and swinging music. You might even remember when steam locomotives didn’t belong solely at museums and expensive day trips or when rations were still an important part of life. At the rate we are going, little brown books and stamps may make a resurgence in my lifetime too…
This might seem like old nostalgia, better left for people in the past while ours is the culture for always moving forward. Yet, so many still hold the years they’ve spent on the clock from day dot as a badge of honor, sometimes using it to lord over others. That goes for all generations, not simply old or young or in the ugly middle bit. How often do you hear, “they don’t know how good they’ve got it...”, or “back in my day…” or “it’s different these days…” or the now famous, “OK, Boomer.”
These things have come from each generational side not realizing that the other has had different experiences, challenges, and seen changes in many different ways. Our elders can reveal wisdom from their years to us, while our newest generations are seeing things with new eyes and thus providing perspectives without the rose-tinted fingerprint-smudged glasses affecting their visions. What occurs on all sides, is what Captain in ‘Cool Hand Luke’ called a “failure to communicate.” Yet, drastic measures are not required to help impact this for a positive change.
(Photo: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/88006/15-hardboiled-facts-about-cool-hand-luke )
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Part of what can make things less strained and more helpful for all generations to work together is if we are all prepared to listen to each other. That means everybody, the young’uns have to accept that the folks with a few more miles on their clocks than them have some important pearls of wisdom. Equally, those of us who have had a few rotations of the sun should be willing to hear what our kids and their kids have to say. Sometimes they do think of things that you haven’t thought of and give you a great deal of food for thought. Let’s not forget as well, they’re the ones picking a care home out for us one day, so a few niceties don’t go amiss.
The other part is the willingness to teach. That word there is TEACH. T.E.A.C.H. Not lecture. Not argue. Everyone must care enough about how to help each other that they gladly give the metaphorical keys that unlock the door of knowledge. Everyone learns something new every day, so long as they are open to doing so. Education is not over once you leave school to get busy earning a paycheck, or graduate, or however, you escape the school buildings. Learning can come to each of us in many forms, whether it is from hard knocks or a family member showing us the ropes. The deal is if you learn then you must also teach, but teach respectfully.
When those we want to teach are unwilling, it can seem frustrating. It can lead to us trying to force a lesson. This will not help resolve the fact that the listening has shut down, in fact, it will aggravate it. There are several ways to resolve this, all of which I could write a blog on alone (which I probably will do at a later date) but for now, here are my suggestions.
(Photo: Matt Brooks)
Firstly, listen to those you are attempting to teach. You might think their points are wrong but listening shows you are willing and open to their views, not closed off and demanding. This will ease those tensions. Next, try a Socratic approach. Ask questions of them, understand their view, this will help to advise on how your view might be beneficial to them. Finally, accept that they may not get your point straight away or may have to experience for themselves what your message was before they can understand it. This has certainly happened to me more than once, to the point that I loathed saying “oh no, mum was right again.”
My time here is up for another night, so I will finish with this question. What was the coolest thing you can remember from your past and what was the biggest bummer? When we take steps ahead into the bright or mysterious unknown, we shouldn’t forget to check where we’ve come from. It’s just important to recall not to look so far back that we start to return and ruin all the hard work we’ve done.
All good things,
Love, Scaramouche.
x
Well said my good pony, well said.
It is funny you mentioned some of those things you did. I remember seeing the last regularly scheduled steam freight train in Michigan as I was growing up. many of the things you remember as a child I remember with my children. I have experienced much over my years, but one thing I always have tried to do was listen to others. Both my elders as well as those younger. Both can give us different perspectives. When we fail to listen we not only stop communicating, but we make others feel we do not think that what they have to say is important. Sadly, at times I have been remiss in this myself. Thank you for the reminder as well as the tips.
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Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment too :)
Awesome to hear that you got to experience a bit of steam history in Michigan too. My Dad, who had his sixtieth birthday in March, used to go to the coast for holidays as a kid on steam trains and regales me and my brother with stories of how they'd send the luggage away first and then join it a week later. Different times but always awesome to hear. I have found I've had more patience to sit and listen to these stories, as I regret not knowing more about my Grampa and Grandad's lives, their motivations, and experiences. It's always good to hear things you can pass on and I hope to do so in some stories in the future.
Glad you've been able to listen and experience life through your elders and children too. Are there any times when you've listened to advice and been relieved to have done, or wish you had, or even wish you hadn't? You're welcome for the tips and if you have any you think I'd benefit from please feel free to share too!
Thank you again for your great comments,
All good things,
Scara x