Been Thinking. · 2:44am Jun 3rd, 2020
I tend to do that alot nowadays.
I get up at four in the morning and start my day, I go to work and find myself back at home.
I wait for the weekend and visit my sister with her family.
This is my pattern and I feel...
Idk, I feel stuck on repeat.
That this is my lot in life, I find myself thinking back to my ex.
We clicked together perfectly, but I tossed it away due to fear.
I didn't want to just settle down, but now that I'm free i feel stuck in a box.
I wonder if I missed my soulmate?
If I'll ever find someone, who would want to get close again.
I'm confused, but I suppose just lonely.
My parents have eachother.
My sister has her family.
Brother roommates and a girlfriend.
Me?
I have a empty apartment.
A cat to keep me company.
Friends I rarely see.
Are they friends if you don't talk or hang out?
Right now I'm in bed, the whole apartment is dark.
I feel alone.
I feel people at work don't really enjoy my presence.
I'm just sort of socially awkward and all over the place.
My thoughts drift to the passed, haunted by my own thoughts in the dark.
She must've felt the same way...
Am I on the same path?
Will one day just say enough?
Or will I ever get things together?
Hours pass by like minutes, my life is on fast forward.
I'm scared but also saddened.
I think I really might have put myself into rut, one which I won't escape.
I guess it's true huh?
Be careful what you wish for...
You just might get it.
Surrounded by trinkets and knickknacks, but nothing with a pulse.
I look to fill that hole by giving from the heart, but still I feel the void there.
In my heart, in my soul.
It's quiet here, I'm used to it.
But a voice would sure be nice.
I'm sorry for another vent, but these thoughts hang on my mind.
I feel here is the only place where I can socialize.
I feel I might annoy my sister, hanging around like a pest.
Who knows?
Maybe I do the same here?
I hope not, I really like people here.
Though I fear, I'm just borrowing time.
Sooner or later, I'll overstay my welcome.
I always do.
Again I needed to vent, to say what's on my mind.
An empty place will do that.
Bring out your thoughts.
Bring out the truth.
Aww, come here you
~ Major Huggage ~
❤❤❤
5274640
~ Hugs~
I'm sorry, just weird thoughts creep into my mind out of the blue.
I was feeling good, then just numb.
Idk, idk.
5274642
It's alright. I get those feelings sometimes too, kinda sorta recently actually. Just know I'll never abandon a good friend like you 🐶❤
5274646
Thank you KM.
I'm just a lonely person, i have that feeling I'm just intruding on others.
A burden I guess.
5274649
If you were a burden, I wouldn't see chatting with you as one of the best parts of my day...
Which it IS one of the highlights of my day
5274651
Hmm, I'm relieved I'm not annoying people... At least you.
I'm afraid each blog I post I might be plain annoying.
But I enjoy chatting, talking helps me feel not so empty.
5274651
I think I'm going to log off.
I need to sleep I guess, idk.
I have a feeling of tiredness but not the sleepy kind.
Is that weird?
Stay safe KM, you're a ray of light.
Never stop making people smile.
5274653
Well keep in mind you have goofy ol' me around as your comfort buddy 🤗
Plus, nothing annoys me more than my sister's kids, lol
5274657
🌞
Ok, nighty night
*hugs firmly* I've been there a few times at best, especially not having friends around, sure, I have my family, but it would be nice to see a new face for once
If you really feel like this than take a risk and make a change. Go find some friends because life is to short to think about the what if's. It's also to short to not have as much fun as you can.
"Fimfic, I'm afraid I've been thinking..."
"A dangerous pasttime-" "-I know,
But my sanity's only so-so~"
If you ever need more help, I can give it. I mean, I can't hug you through my screen or anything, but I can make you smile. Don't worry. These troubles you're in will be but a moment in your life. And I know if you endure it well, you can triumph over everything.
5274689
Thank you, Brady.
Oi, I'm just really out of it now.
Idk, it'll pass hopefully.
I tossed and turned all night, so bare with me.
If I'm maybe bleh today.
5274681
Maybe it is time?
Find something to change my current position in life, ty.
5274678
I know that all too well.
5274659
Hmm, stay safe.
5274722
Hmmm, ty.
5274806 Yeah
5274805
But you can't let the fear of the unknown hold you back from what you deserve
5274939
I know, but sometimes the plunge is intimidating.
5276378
If it wasn't then it wouldn't be worth it. The thing that makes the journey for more worth it is that you realized that fear is something you need to face. It'll always be there but what defines who you are is if you let it stop you in your search for something better.
5276442
So very true.
5276472
I hope I've helped
5276582
Absolutely you have, need a friend who can just sit some facts on the table.
Ty.
Oi, I need to find my meaning somewhere.
Instead of trapping myself in this little box I have built up.
5276616
It's good to admit that you built that box. Because admitting you have one is the first step to knocking it down
5276698
I really hope so, I want to break it away more than anything.
5276710
If you keep moving forward and excepting the help of others then you're on the right path
5276808
Ty!
That sounds like a path I can hopefully follow.
5276814
I belive in you
5276892
Ty, so much.
5276937
Everyone deserves a chance
5276968
I agree.
Sometimes that one chance can be enough.
5276973
And I'm glad I can give it to you
5276976
You're a good friend, I'm thankful for that.
5276980
Yeah I'm always here for you if you need to talk to someone
5276982
I will keep you in mind, you're an honest heart just like AJ.
I needed a truthful answer to my feelings, oi I need to break free.
Hopefully to something better.
5276985
The best thing about hitting rock bottom you can only go up