PONID-21 Day 12 · 1:36am Jun 3rd, 2020
*Video of reporter sitting in a chair flanked by her camera operator and pilot.*
"You'll have to forgive my appearance, but it seems we were involved in an accident. Firstly, I've been asked to make clear that we were flying in a restricted area and that the individual who—who grabbed our helicopter wasn't to blame."
The woman, Celeste Cunningham, put on her best smile (under the circumstances).
"Thanks to our mishap, and due to myself and James, my pilot, both lacking immunity to SARS-CoV-2, we will be in quarantine for up to four weeks. Harvey, my cameraman, will be documenting life within this strange facility.
"Our hosts have been obliging, but they have denied us our freedom for obvious and understandable reasons. They're dealing with live viruses here, and the world doesn't need another wave of COVID-19.
"Back to you, Becky."
*Cross back to the newsroom with Celeste's image up in one corner.*
"If you don't mind, before we leave you Celeste, could you tell our viewers what happened to cause the crash? Were you shot down?"
Celeste's image was static now. "No. I'll make it clear, we were in the wrong here. I will only say that what happened has left our helicopter ruined but we were absolutely safe. I'm not sure how much I can say at this point without breaking more laws than I have already. I'll keep you all posted."
"Thank you, Celeste Cunningham, for that unusual report. Tom, what do you think..."
#general
Mike 1/17/2021 9:03 AM
Okay, so why is this place so dang quiet? We had a helicopter crash into the place yesterday and they're holding news reports from here now. Where is everypony?
Devon 1/17/2021 9:04 AM
We're at the caf. The reporter and her pilot are here chatting with everypony. Turns out they already had signs of active virus in their systems. Their camera guy tested negative. Leave your books behind and come say hi.
Mike 1/17/2021 9:04 AM
Ha! I can do one better. I'll bring a book with me!
Penny 1/17/2021 9:05 AM
You're such a cute nerd, Mike. Get your fuzzy butt down here.
Interview with Celeste Cunningham
female
age 29Transcript of conversation with notes added from my clipboard.
CC (Celeste Cunningham): You're the boss here?
Notes: Celeste and her crew (Harvey Curtis and James Poe) made the unwise decision to fly their helicopter over our facility late yesterday afternoon. Robert Cowell, thinking it was bad that they got pictures of him, reacted without thinking and flew up to deal with them. His anger got the better of him and not only did he double in size but he ripped the blades and tail off the helicopter. Lisa Trent and Penny DeSanto talked him down from his anger and the latter managed to set what was left of the aircraft on the ground without harming the crew. Dr. Howards has asked me to interview them each and assess if they are a flight risk and may break quarantine.
KS (Dr. Karen Simpson): Far from it. Dr. Howards is in charge of the facility and is working with our test subjects today. First of all, on behalf of all said patients and staff, thank you for not holding a grudge.
CC: I admit it would have been easy to wall up and demand our lawyers be contacted, but the truth is we were in the wrong and Robert, Bob, didn't act out of malice. Is this a briefing, debriefing, or a little of both?
KS: A little of both. You want to know about what happened, and I guess this is as good a time as any to be honest. This wasn't a trial of a benign vaccine. Dr. Howards and his team were trialing a radical new anti-viral agent that attacked the SARS-CoV-2 virus directly. Forgive me for not being a specialist in such things, but from what I understand it attacked the virus in much the same way as a virus attacks us.
CC: That's so far above my pay level I can't even fathom it. What's that mean in lay-terms?
KS: They forcefully mutated the virus into something that wouldn't kill.
CC: Hold up. Mutated? From what I remember it's bad when a virus mutates.
KS: Yes. Very. That's why, when everything hit the proverbial fan, I had a very frank discussion with Dr. Howards. All attempts to continue development and testing of the active virus have been canceled while the best of care is given to his patients.
Notes: It was good to get this off my chest. I'd wanted to spill this can of beans for some time, and a member of the press felt like the best recipient right now. Celeste Cunningham might be ethical or not, but now it was her hot potato to serve.
CC: Patients. Some would call them mythological creatures. You have griffons, dragons, unicorns, pegasi, and others I'm not familiar enough with ancient civilizations to recognize. Bob, for example, seems like a rather classical dragon out of legend, but Penny…
KS: She calls herself a supreme noodle, and no one has thought it worth their time to correct that term.
CC: I'd like to interview more of them. I take it you'd like to be present?
KS: I'll leave that up to them. Nopony's a prisoner here, we just all agree not to leave.
CC: Especially Bob. Also, what do you mean by "nopony"?
Notes: I hadn't realized I'd used the term. How long have I been saying those phrases? I'll have to check over my notes.
Notes: Crap, I used it yesterday.
KS: Well, since you're infected, I might as well describe it. Part of the changes, if you're going to end up as one of the pony-types, is that you will start mentally replacing certain words. It's a little surprising when you start doing it. I think today was my first.
CC: Huh. You're infected?
KS: I wasn't meant to interact with anyone but doctors. I was here as the mandatory ethics control and to oversee psychological data gathering. When things started going pear-shaped, I stepped in and started direct counseling. That's when I became infected.
CC: So, what do I have to look forward to?
KS: You're taking this well.
CC: Do you have any idea what it takes to get a Pulitzer prize?
KS: Ah. This, I take it?
CC: Call me an insatiable news-hound all you want, but I'm here now and I'm going to use it. If I spend all my time bitching and moaning about what's happening to me, no one will talk.
KS: I'd ask if news is really that predatory, but I don't think I need to. Okay. If you wind up going into one of the standard variants, you have about a thirty percent chance of becoming male, your hands and feet will get stiff and merge together into hooves, you'll grow a coat of hair all over your body, get a tail, maybe wings, maybe horn… You've seen everypony, so you know how it works.
Notes: I used "everypony" again. It only seems to happen when I'm talking about pony patients as a whole.
CC: Okay. That's a lot to take in. Gimme a second or two.
Notes: Okay, now I'm getting a more healthy response. She shouldn't be getting affected by pony positivity yet (I'm coining that one right here and now), and it was strange how well she was accepting being involved in this. I wonder if her assistant has this level of focus (reality blindness) too?
CC: Okay, so this is probably going to make typing a bunch harder, but I think I'm okay with it. I still can't fully believe it's happening to me.
KS: That will change as you do. For me it was when my fingers started to tense up so much I can't type.
CC: That'll be annoying. Typing's about three quarters of my job.
Notes: Some real uncertainty. I hate having to push a patient to realize these things, but it's for the best if they can't face reality themselves. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't do this, but she has at most two days before this will be happening to her anyway.
KS: Just annoying?
CC: What's your deal? You're being all doom and gloom here, Karen.
KS: I'll be honest and frank. You're not fully aware of what's happening. Part of you is, but you're not accepting that you're about to lose your humanity.
CC: Harsh, but true. You're right, I'm holding back how I feel about it, but I don't think I can do my job and feel at the same time, and right now I need to do my job more than I need to panic and cry.
KS: That's not a healthy way of dealing with it. It's not dealing with it at all. My door is always open, Celeste.
Post session notes: Celeste didn't cry in the end, but she did leave with at least a better understanding that she would eventually overflow with all these feelings. With luck the pony positivity will hit her before the shock does. I can't help someone who doesn't want help.
—Doctor Simpson
Interview with James Poe
male
age 38Transcript of conversation with notes added from my clipboard.
JP (James Poe): Celeste looked pissed. You gave her a dose of reality, right?
Notes: Celeste and her crew (Harvey Curtis and James Poe) made the unwise decision to fly their helicopter over our facility late yesterday afternoon. Robert Cowell, thinking it was bad that they got pictures of him, reacted without thinking and flew up to deal with them. His anger got the better of him and not only did he double in size but he ripped the blades and tail off the helicopter. Lisa Trent and Penny DeSanto talked him down from his anger and the latter managed to set what was left of the aircraft on the ground without harming the crew. Dr. Howards has asked me to interview them each and assess if they are a flight risk and may break quarantine.
Notes: James was the pilot.
KS (Dr. Karen Simpson): I tried to.
JP: Yeah, she hates that. Your best bet is to let her do everything she thinks is right and then wait for her to collapse and pick up the pieces.
KS: I'll keep that in mind, but we're not here to talk about her, James.
JP: Yeah, yeah, doc. It's my head you're here to shrink. I get it. So lay it out and I'll try to keep my sobbing and screaming to a minimum.
KS: Not my style. If you want to scream and sob, go ahead. Hell, I'll call somepony in who will literally be able to hug you to feeling better.
JP: Did you just say somepony?
KS: Yes I did. Part of this process is mental changes.
JP: Gets in your head too? Fuck.
KS: Quite. You've had a chance to see everyone here, we're pretty sure we've seen all the major strains of this. What are your thoughts?
JP: I don't really know what to think. Some of you lot seem not a lot different to humans, like that smaller dragon guy, but others are just… That guy that grabbed our helicopter, the other one who got him to put us down, all the uh… ponies.
Notes: He looks concerned or even afraid. Good. It's nice to finally have someone acting normal.
KS: Even the most extreme of changes, like what Bob the dragon is going through, can be survivable. He still uses a touch-screen to chat with us. We had to get one of the hardened laptops from stores to do it, but we rigged it up for him. The other most extreme change is what we're calling a baseline pony. Just hooves and mouth for manipulating things.
JP: And how are they doing? How do they even…?
KS: Two of them are our chefs. You want to see how they're doing, head down to the cafeteria and offer to help out.
JP: Huh. That might be interesting. Guess if I'm infected already, like the docs said, I can't get any more infected.
Notes: Confronting someone with stark reality is normally not the greatest idea unless that reality is better than they imagine. Maybe I could convince Celeste to do the same. Maybe I could convince the Middle East that peace would be a good idea.
KS: Also, if you happen to see a pegasus with one odd eye, give her a hug.
JP: Are you trying to hook me up with your patients?
KS: No. Why don't you come back and talk to me tomorrow and tell me how the hug went.
JP: You really think I can just go up to this girl and hug her? There's laws against that…
KS: Trust me.
JP: I'm going to ask first, but I'll give it a try. What have I got to lose, right? Not like the police can come in and arrest me.
KS: So, tomorrow?
JP: Yeah. Yeah I think I'd like that.
Post session notes: Sending him Lisa's way is probably the best thing I can do. He's no idiot, and I think he's talked to professionals before. The last comments were like handing a drowning man a life preserver.
—Doctor Simpson
Interview with Harvey Curtis
male
age 33Transcript of conversation with notes added from my clipboard.
HC (Harvey Curtis): So, why am I in here?
Notes: Celeste and her crew (Harvey Curtis and James Poe) made the unwise decision to fly their helicopter over our facility late yesterday afternoon. Robert Cowell, thinking it was bad that they got pictures of him, reacted without thinking and flew up to deal with them. His anger got the better of him and not only did he double in size but he ripped the blades and tail off the helicopter. Lisa Trent and Penny DeSanto talked him down from his anger and the latter managed to set what was left of the aircraft on the ground without harming the crew. Dr. Howards has asked me to interview them each and assess if they are a flight risk and may break quarantine.
Notes: Harvey was the cameraman.
KS (Dr. Karen Simpson): Because you're the only one in your group not infected and because the guy in charge here asked me to talk to you. But mostly I want to talk to you because you're probably going to be Celeste's lifeline.
HC: Huh?
KS: How would you describe her?
HC: Focused. All about her… Okay, now I'm starting to see why. She's going to walk into this ignorant as fuck, isn't she?
Notes: I won't remove any of their swearing. I feel getting a feel for how much someone employs expletives is another way to judge their mental status.
KS: You tell me. Have you been in other risky situations together?
HC: Enough to know she'll stick at her job up to and including when the shooting starts. I'd offer to pull the mic out of her hand and run, but she's fast in her heels, doc.
KS: Well, you might have some help. This thing changes people inside and out. You've seen what some of our other guests are like? Imagine her going through that over the next week.
Notes: I showed him my hands here. The joints are starting to fuse together and my nails are turning a shade of deep orange.
HC: Shit. Okay, and that could happen to James, too?
KS: It's highly likely to happen to both.
HC: Dammit. So I have to be the voice of reason. That's why you wanted to talk to me?
KS: Actually, it's only Celeste I'm worried about right now.
HC: Which means James has his head on right. Okay, I'll see about talking to her. Anything else?
KS: You tell me. You just had your ride grabbed out of the air by a dragon who didn't want you filming him. How do you feel?
HC: Freaking out a bit, honestly. Trying to go with it, but I think I have a bit of what Celeste has. It makes you better at this job.
Notes: … At times I forget that some jobs require you to be a little crazy.
KS: Well, let's talk about that. What do you think about these changes?
HC: That I'm glad I don't have to go through them. I know it's terrible, but…
KS: It's normal. You clearly want to help them, which shows you aren't any of the negative things that are running though your head. If Celeste's fate is this…
Notes: I held up my hands again.
KS: She's going to need a friend with steady hands.
HC: Shit. Okay. I can do that for her. I guess you want me to talk her into coming back?
KS: That would be appreciated.
Post session notes: An ally for both Celeste and myself. Harvey seems a capable accomplice in keeping her mental health somewhat normal. I'll have to put in some time to research these people. I hope I don't find wartime correspondent in their dossiers.
—Doctor Simpson
#general
Lisa 1/17/2021 1:51 PM
Feels weird to not be talking to the docs today. What about the rest of you?
Suzy 1/17/2021 1:55 PM
Same old same old.
Some of the docs asked to help in the kitchen for lunch. I think they do it to watch us work. Joke's on them, they end up working too!
#welcome
Emergency Medical Hologram Mk. 2 1/17/2021 2:01 PM
Welcome to COVID-19 Treatment Chat, @James! Please @ me and give your patient ID number.
James 1/17/2021 2:02 PM
Uh, I don't have one of those.
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:03 PM
This is a private server. How'd you get the invite?
James 1/17/2021 2:05 PM
Doctor Karen gave it to me. Said I should come in here to chill.
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:05 PM
Huh?
James 1/17/2021 2:06 PM
Yeah. I was the pilot of that helicopter yesterday.
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:06 PM
OH!
Ignore the bot, setting you up to have access. Head into #general to chat with people.
#general
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:08 PM
In here, @James!
James 1/17/2021 2:10 PM
Thanks. Anyway, yeah. They tested me, I got what you've got now. What's it like?
Suzy 1/17/2021 2:14 PM
Kinda freaky. I'm getting better with my hooves. I can hold stuff with them now. I'm one of the chefs in the caf, by the way.
James 1/17/2021 2:15 PM
Which one?
Suzy 1/17/2021 2:17 PM
The tall and sexy one.
Penny 1/17/2021 2:18 PM
Down, girl! Let him settle in before you pounce. Hi, James, I hope I didn't jostle your ride too much when I took it from the big guy?
Suzy 1/17/2021 2:18 PM
😛 @Penny
James 1/17/2021 2:19 PM
That was you? Wait, who was it doing that? Are you the long and thin one or…
Penny 1/17/2021 2:20 PM
I prefer the term noodly, but yeah. I kinda worked out how to do some neat stuff from that. Wanna see?
James 1/17/2021 2:22 PM
Maybe a bit later. Right now I just want to…
Actually, yeah. Why not. I just realized I have nothing to do but worry about all this.
Penny 1/17/2021 2:25 PM
Excellent! One noodlestravaganza coming up. Why don't you meet me at the cafeteria, then we can head to the gym. The doctors want me to record whatever stuff I do, and I know there's some cameras there I can show off for.
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:28 PM
Mind if I tag along?
James 1/17/2021 2:28 PM
Cool, I'll see you there.
Oh. The doc said I should try to hug you or something.
Penny 1/17/2021 2:29 PM
Heck yeah! If you need a good hug, just find Lisa.
Lisa 1/17/2021 2:31 PM
Hugging's what I do. I'll catch you both at the caf.
Subject: Day 12 Observations
1/17/21
3:11 P.M.
Subject: Penny DeSantoI am thankful Penny DeSanto (113823902021) contacted me in advance of her little show. I have the first footage of things I cannot, in any way shape or form, come up with the wildest of hypotheses for.
She teleported. There's no other way to explain it. One moment, one frame of the video, she was standing on one side of the room, the next she was on the other. All she appeared to do was snap her fingers.
I'm including the video in this report.
—Doctor Howards
*Video shows Penny, a self-titled supreme noodle that resembles a long and thin chimera of creatures, standing on miss-matched legs on one side of a gymnasium that was empty of people.*
There is no sound, but the supreme noodle holds up her feline forearm and moves her fingers slightly apart in a classic about-to-snap position. Her mouth moves and she grins a little wider.
As her fingers strike, she disappears from where she'd been standing and appears on a mat nearly forty feet away. Striking a pose like a stage magician, she reaches up and doffs a top hat that hadn't been on her head before the snap.
Peter Howards' Journal
Lisa saved me. I'd gone catatonic after the magic Penny had done. This wasn't a game anymore. There is no amount of dark energy bullshit I could spin to explain what she'd done. The hat was real, her teleportation was real.
If Lisa hadn't broken me out of my daze with a hug, I think I'd be sitting in Karen's office gibbering like a fool.
I have a teleconference with the government later today. I can't let these people down. I can't let Lisa down.
#general
Lisa 1/17/2021 4:09 PM
Okay, @everyone go easy on doctor Howards. He's had a bad day. If you see him, give him your best smile and offer him a hug. Don't force it.
Bob 1/17/2021 4:13 PM
What happened?
Lisa 1/17/2021 4:15 PM
Penny was showing off her new trick. She can teleport, apparently. She also made a hat appear out of nowhere. I guess the doc wasn't ready to have physics proven wrong today.
Penny 1/17/2021 4:16 PM
All supreme noodles now come with a warning: do not allow your noodle to come within ten feet of science.
Feeding us after midnight is still totes cool.
Devon 1/17/2021 4:17 PM
Feeding you after midnight?
Lisa 1/17/2021 4:17 PM
It's an old movie. Hey, we haven't done a movie night for a bit. How about one outside by the fire?
Bob 1/17/2021 4:18 PM
There's a fire?
Lisa 1/17/2021 4:19 PM
Not yet, big guy. I think I know somedragon who can make one, though.
Bob 1/17/2021 4:21 PM
Oh! Yeah. I can do that.
James 1/17/2021 4:23 PM
Wait, Bob? The dragon? Holy shit dude! That was awesome!
Bob 1/17/2021 4:25 PM
Who are you?
James 1/17/2021 4:26 PM
The pilot of that chopper who filled his pants when he realized what he'd pissed off. Thanks for not crushing us.
Bob 1/17/2021 4:29 PM
Why'd you fly over here?
James 1/17/2021 4:31 PM
Blame my boss, Celeste. I'm surprised she isn't on here yet. She kept telling me to get closer so Harvey could get his shot. So I get closer and he sees you on the ground, then next thing I know you were gone. Celeste was talking about the building or something, and then…
What's it like to fly?
Bob 1/17/2021 4:38 PM
Words can't describe it. Pumping your wings and sending the world away is the second-best feeling I've ever had. Maybe you'll get lucky and get wings.
James 1/17/2021 4:40 PM
Luck? Me?! Nah. I'll probably end up as some kind of worm if Murphy has his way.
So what's the first-best thing?
Bob 1/17/2021 4:40 PM
Friends.
—private-message—
Bob 1/17/2021 11:22 PM
Thanks.
Lisa 1/17/2021 11:24 PM
What for? Why are you typing instead of saying it?
Bob 1/17/2021 11:27 PM
Because I want to thank you, not everyone in a thirty foot radius.
You keep pushing to keep me connected and I appreciate it.
Lisa 1/17/2021 11:29 PM
Well, I won't leave anycreature behind. You're a friend, Bob, and no matter how big or how fierce you get, that won't change. I just wish I could hug you properly now.
Bob 1/17/2021 11:32 PM
What about a pinkie-hug?
Lisa 1/17/2021 11:33 PM
Bring your pinkie over here and I'll hug the heck out of it.
Bob 1/17/2021 11:39 PM
Thanks. Are you warm enough?
Lisa 1/17/2021 11:43 PM
Curled up beside a friend? Yeah I am.
Bob 1/17/2021 11:47 PM
I'm scared. When I saw that helicopter and its cameras I just got so angry I had to…
Lisa 1/17/2021 11:59 PM
Grab it out of the air with your fist?
Bob 1/17/2021 12:11 PM
Yeah. That angry.
Lisa 1/17/2021 12:14 PM
Talk to Karen tomorrow. I don't know much, but I bet she'll be able to help. You met up with James, right? What do you think of him?
Bob 1/17/2021 12:18 PM
I will.
He's pretty cool. I'd be a lot angrier if someone broke my toy like I did his. He really wants to fly.
Lisa 1/17/2021 12:21 PM
Silly dragon. You have wings. If he wants to fly, take him flying.
Bob 1/17/2021 12:33 PM
I wouldn't let anyone else call me a silly dragon. That's a great idea.
Bob 1/17/2021 12:50 PM
I am a silly dragon.
News crew: Okay, I understand that you didn't know that the "sculpture" was alive and camera-shy, but all the same, what were you thinking!?
"Ask Celeste. She calls the shots," James said.
"I didn't know it was restricted airspace!" When her protest got blank stares from her companions, Celeste let out a sigh. "Okay, I did. But there was a story here, I could smell it."
After a few moments Harvey added, "Yeah, and you were right."
So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.
Support me on Patreon or fuel my writing on Ko-Fi!
Join me on Discord. Please use your FimFic name as an alias. Warning, said chat may contain NSFW material and should be considered adult in nature.
Awesome ponies who are already helping to keep me in keyboards and rum:
A.P.O.N.I.
Canary in the Coal Mine
Daremo
Dio-Drogynous
Ender Voidwalker
KFS Crimson
Sirion123
Vi Watch
And special thanks to the following, for careful eyes and friendly words:
Lab
Hmm. Pretty sure they don't have an established Sunset yet...
Getting them wet is also permitted, but bright light is a no-no. Especially rainbows.
But yeah, this should be very interesting, and not necessarily in a good way. Seems like the whole world's going to see the day-by-day transformation. This could go very messily indeed.
thin
5274654 Dangit. Fixed, thanks!
Karen forgot to tell James and Harvey that there is 30% chance of them becoming female.
Ten feet of science is probably fine, but no amount of feet is enough for sanity.
Ask the unfortunate news crews: You might noticed that some residents here have male names despite being obvious female. What do you think about that?
5274682
Harvey has the antibodies.
Snrkt.
F'naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Bob's not supposed to have the pony positivity Derpy what did you go and doooo
This is how dialogue is written. Thank you for this.
Can Celeste be blacklisted? That was a bullshit move risking her crew in the name of glory
Sure hope James gets some wings. Poor pilot would be devastated to be stuck on the ground...Not sure if you're doing randoms on this story or not.
"Do not allow your noodle to come within ten feet of science" Hehehe, your humor continues to be punchy and entertaining. Your characters all have their own little touch.
To Lisa: Can you tell the writer behind the curtain they're awesome and give them a hug for us?
P.S. If you can't find them I'll bet Penny can. ;)