(Rant) Abusing Pathos and emotional elements · 4:52am May 23rd, 2020
So, there are a lot of elements of story writing that most MLP writers use. Based on the writer’s style and skill, there are two possible outcomes for the stories they write: they either distribute the elements extremely well or they absolutely suck at it.
One thing I see a lot of storywriters get wrong is the “pathos.”
Now, if you guys didn’t take ELA before quarantine struck, lemme explain: “pathos” is one of the three communication techniques of rhetoric. It’s distributed alongside “logos,” the display of facts and logic, and “ethos,” the ability to gain trust from the audiences.
So pathos is what the writer uses to get the reader to feel a certain emotion, and it can apply to a variety of emotions. Happiness, sympathy, disgust, paranoia, etc.
But most of the time, it’s the second one of those aforementioned emotions; sympathy.
Again, the writers either gain sympathy from the audience very well, or their attempts end up falling flat on their faces.
Believe me, I see the latter happen multiple times.
To start off, I once read this one story where the main earth pony protagonist is abused by her unicorn parents. Why was she born an earth pony in a family of unicorns? It’s never explained, and that’s only our first red flag here. 🚩
The story in it? I uh... I’m not sure if I should even call it a story. It was just a bunch of events of the character getting abused by her family members up until she ends up murdering them. No joke.. It came off less like “This is a story about how a pony deals with an abusive family” and more like, “FEEL SORRY FOR HER.”
Heck, they even threw scat into the mix! Freaking scat! That and it’s T-rated!
They used abuse, they used blood, they used. Freaking. Scat. Why? Becauuuuse...
“FEEL SORRY FOR HER.”
Yeah, expect me to be doing that a lot.
Moving on...
I find that these types of problems occur with a few MLP episodes. Let’s see here... Anyone remember “Crusaders of the Lost Mark”? That episode where the CMC earn their cutie marks?
The episode where we learn how Diamond Tiara’s mother treats her? Yeah, that’s my personal problem with the episode.
When did we ever see these implications before the episode aired? Never, actually.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get why people still liked this episode, and I get that they still managed to get sympathy from Diamond Tiara. But to me... the whole “Diamond Tiara is the way she is only because of her mother” situation felt thrown in without any buildup from earlier episodes.
I mean, I once read a comment that said that “Showstoppers” could’ve foreshadowed this by having Diamond Tiara be all like, “I have to win this! My mother’s watching!” That would’ve made sense.
Instead, it just feels like the writers noticed how much hate DT was getting in the fandom and they instead wanted the audience to... you know...
“FEEL SORRY FOR HER.”
Heck, not even the best MLP fanworks are safe from this. Case in point?
Yeah, you heard me right...
Okay, now before you shoot me in the face for doing this—
*gunshot*
...too late.
But anyway, I actually have nothing against the Snowdrop animation or the titular character, nor do I have anything against its creators. In fact, it’s a really nice animation in general.
The reason why I’m mentioning it here is because of TheMysteriousMrEnter’s review of it. Basically, he says that the animation wants us to show sympathy for Snowdrop, not for what she does, but for what she is; a blind pegasus filly who has to deal with bullying and having to fly home alone.
And I have to say he has a point. The first half of the animation just seems to shove it in our faces that she’s blind and she doesn’t have any friends. In other words...
“FEEL SORRY FOR HER.”
If you want to make a character with a disability, that’s fine, but don’t do it solely to get sympathy from the audience. Disabilities don’t define characters who have them. Heck, they don’t always have to gain sympathy. You know Toph Beifong from Legend of Korra? She’s one of those characters with a disability done right. Sure, she’s blind, but she can still kick ass if she needs to.
Also...
Remember my rant about “changeling outcast” OCs?
They have the same problem as Snowdrop here.
The stories about them I’ve seen usually show the changeling protagonist being either:
A. Banished from the hive for going against the Queen Chrysalis’ standards.
B. Bullied by their peers for being “too different and not wanting to steal love.”
C. Ostracized by ponykind once their “pony disguise” gets dropped.
OR
D. All of the above.
I tell ya, if it’s D of all choices, then the story’s got some serious issues.
Again, the story outright begs for us to feel sad for the main character for what they ARE.
“Oh nu, They’re a poor misunderstood changeling who just wants to be friends.”
“Oh nuuu, they’re getting bullied by other changelings because they don’t wanna feed on love!”
“Oh NUUUUU, their cover is blown and their relationships with ponykind are destroyed!”
“FEEL SORRY FOR THEM!”
...Okay. I think that’s all I needed to cover.
So how do you want to avoid these issues when trying to write a sympathetic story for a character and/or using pathos correctly? Simple.
- Don’t just shove it in the audience’s faces the moment they meet your character. Give them time to adjust to their personality and traits. That way they can slowly grow attached to them and they can actually sympathize with them at the right time.
- Don’t start piling traumatic events onto the character all at once. Give the audience time to breathe.
- It needs logic and buildup. There’s a difference between planning/revealing a character’s “sad, tragic backstory” and pulling it straight from your ass.
If you follow any of those things, I’m sure you’ll be fine.
See ya later, guys.
Well, I agree with this logic. But I'm wondering if I've done it with my stories...I don't know if I have...but I digress, another successful Ted Talk, Bezier!
5267622
Eh, I just call them rants or vents.
5267624
I know. But it was still good. As someone who has taken many writing classes I very much agree with your logic, is all I'm saying.
5267627
Thanks.
Yeah, I agree here. I’m no professional author be any means, but I do believe it’s better to grow a character so the reader/view‘s can feel sympathetic for them rather then just ramming a sad story down the reader/viewer’s throats all at once.
5267629
Well said, fellow brony
5267628
No prob.
5267630
Thanks
5267636
Anytime.
5267644
I know! It sucks that many writers don’t get that
5267647
“Not feeling sad enough? Get this: I’M A FREAKING CHANGELING!”
Well... this seems rather appropriate, considering the scene I'm writing right now. I hope it doesn't come across as a FEEL SORRY FOR HER bit...
5267651
Well, just as long as you gave them enough screentime to form some connection. And as long as it makes sense.
5267652
Gotta admit, I'm banking on people here liking Starlight Glimmer, which may not work out for me...
5267653
I feel like I could’ve mentioned her backstory on here. Idk how tho.
5267654
As much as I go to bat for Glimmy, the show didn't really spell out why her backstory should have been seen as tragic. Most people heard FEEL BAD FOR HER, but the show didn't adequately spell out how devastating some childhood psychoses can be. Starlight clearly internalized a traumatic moment in a bad way, and nopony realized at the time that it might have caused a cascade of poor personality quirks until it was far too late to correct by preventative measures, and required Twilight's personal intervention.
5267656
Having your friend get a cutie mark before you and going off to a school without you results in you becoming a cult leader and later nearly destroying Equestria?
Yeah, I don’t really see it.
5267657
It's a process. Not one the show elaborated on, but I work with kids. I see that kind of thing develop from little troubles to full-blown emotional trauma.
Starlight's case: She was clearly a shy pony, whose one friend got whisked away the moment he got his Cutie Mark, the sign for growing up. He didn't even look back, from what we can see in the show. It doesn't take much to see the process in her head. She gets abandoned. That makes her feel awful, and probably puts her through some rough emotional patches. Seeing her dad from later on... yeah, she's not gonna get good support from him. Either he's busy working, or he doesn't take her concerns seriously. Either way, she develops self-worth issues. These only get nastier when she does get her Cutie Mark and... oh my! It's in magic too?
Why did my Cutie Mark wait until now? I could have gone with Sunburst if it had happened earlier. I wouldn't have gone through months or more of thinking I was worthless because the instant he got his, he left without saying goodbye.
Her initial questioning turns from merely being confused and self-deprecating to full blown resentment over the course of her teenage years. And like most teenagers, she thinks she knows the world so well, that she's got it all figured out, that she's got an open mind, that she's not the blind one here! YOU'RE ALL SHEEPLE!!!
Damn. Didn't mean to rant under your rant. Sorry. Point is, what she became is very realistic. It just looks ridiculous from the outside when so little context is given (probably due to runtime).
5267662
No kidding. I guess I kinda understand what they were trying to go for, but it came off as unintentionally melodramatic.
5267663
Which is exactly what you're ranting about. It's perfect!
5267668
Hey, you’re right!
I think I'm going to save this blog, I can use it as reference to check myself for if I build a character meant to be sympathized with
5267871
Really?
5267872
Yeah it's good to make sure I don't overdue anything
The MLP show had a bad habit of just throwing in stuff as it went along.
Good Points.
5268261
Thanks.
5267662
Starlight is by far best pony (for me), but I have a LOT of issues with her backstory--or at least what we see of it. Everything you said makes so much sense and I love it.
Reading this over makes me worried about my own writing, but I can see where you are coming from. I can see why that is frustrating, feeling a character has a sucky backstory or situation just because you “need to feel sad” for them. There are other ways to feel sad for a character without making everything in their life a dumpster fire.
5472634
Yeah, basically.