"Be good to yourself, because nobody else has the power to make you happy."
...None other than ZanyZapper ! I'm sure they'll be deliriously happy... when they finally come back online. 
I'm pretty bored right so I've come up with an idea. The next 10 people who already follow me can come up with an idea for a one-shot, and I'll choose the one which I think is the most interesting and write it. I won't tell the winner who it is... they'll only know when their story is published! 
…You can longer see how many people are viewing your story at a time, unless I’m missing something? It’s a shame, it was quite a useful tool to have… 
…What do you like most about writing?
All you non-authors can just butt out; this question is just for the budding scribes out there to comment under.
(nah, just kidding, you can hang around and read if you like, after all you’re so good at it 
As a environmental message, it's fair-to-middling at best.
As a story which depicts how they might've handled Diamond Tiara AFTER her redemption, it's positively flawless.
I finally have a new 'thing' out. Go read it.
Or ya know, don't. It's a free country. (Last time I checked, that is) 
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Wait, how long have you been following me?
Since the injunction ran out. Better double bolt your door at night now. Bwhahaha...
Welcome back!
5265161
Cheers. I tell, you I’ve overwhelmed by the response so far. Two (count ‘em) comments so far. You love me. You really love me!!
This joke aged poorly.
5277947
True, but I’ll keep it around for posterity’s sake.