Chronica Dolori · 6:30am May 11th, 2020
A lot of things have happened since this year began.
A lot of it has just been the same general nonsense that everyone else has been handling. A lot of it's been nonsense particular to me. I've spent much of 2020 rambling about said nonsense to people close to me, often (though not always) whilst drunk, and while I don't want to go into much detail about all of it... it's enough to say that I've had a bit more time on my hands than I'm used to since wrapping up 2019.
Things have been a little bit better lately, though. I've been doing well enough that I feel comfortable reacquainting myself with writing, a hobby that I frequently become disillusioned with, and from which I'm known to take long, extended leaves of absence. And while I wouldn't exactly consider myself dead on this site over the past year, I've... certainly been gathering a few flies, I'll admit.
Pic unrelated
I have a few projects in the pipeline, including two commissioned stories that I've been chipping at for a little while now. One of these is the previously canceled One Good Turn..., a story which I gave up on after realizing that nobody really seemed to care at all about it. R5h prevailed upon me to complete it, so I'll be working on updating and finishing that sometime before it's seasonally relevant again.
Besides that, I want to wrap up that one crossover that I've been writing for almost nine years, write the final entry in the Often Rhymes trilogy, and I have at least two other projects that've been on my to-do list for a while.
But, while I plan to at least do my commissions and PGS, those other stories may have to wait a little longer for their turn. Because during this wonderfully nightmarish year of poverty and plague, I've discovered this weird, wild shit called... anime.
"Let me show you my fanfiction."
...More specifically, a little show called Puella Magi Madoka Magica.
This was series I'd been aware of, in passing, and entirely through osmosis, but it was never a piece of media that I found myself interested in consuming. It wasn't until the last few months that it drew my attention, in large part because YouTube's recommendations algorithm operates in baffling, inexplicable ways.
This was my first exposure to Madoka Magica. I am a big, big fan of weird, impressionistic, abstract shit, and the eerie, ambiguous, vaguely menacing vibe of this scene was enough to get me curious about the rest of the show. I pulled it up, watched the whole thing in the span of a couple weeks (dubbed, if you're curious; judge me all you want, but if Cassandra Lee Morris is playing an ambiguously evil talking cat, there's no way I'm not getting it in English), and found myself... genuinely hooked. I moved from episode to episode with an intense desire to find out what happened next, and as each layer of the mystery was pulled away, I was drawn deeper and deeper into the setting, and into the lives of these characters.
I'm not sure I have the time, energy, or attention span to delve into what about Meduka Meguka makes it such a significant and captivating piece of media, at least, not right now. I'm also not sure who would want to read it. It's enough to say that I fell in love with this show about ambiguously gay teenagers raging against the dying of the light, quite against my expectations.
Wonder why.
And when I finished the series. something happened. Something I wasn't entirely expecting. I was inspired to write about this show.
And, since it seems I'm incapable of writing anything unless it's through the lens of ponyfiction... I was inspired to write a crossover.
An idea started forming in the deepest part of that one brain-wrinkle from whence spring my dumbest writing ideas. Before long, I'd sketched out a rough premise and an idea for a character, which led to an outline drafted over a week or two, which finally led to the chapter posted to Fimfiction this past weekend. About a month's work of planning, drafting, editing, and revision, a lot of which was accomplished with the help and support of my friends and editors (singling out Scampy, Danny, and Dubs, who each brought something unique to the table), resulted in my first new story posted in six months, and the first new thing I've written that wasn't for a writeoff or a contest since... wow, One Good Turn.
All this is to say... again, I don't know how, or why, this series caught my heart the way that it did. I'm not sure why it inspired me enough to write something based on it. Maybe it's quarantine madness, or my neurotransmitters finally functioning, but for the first time in a long time, I have a story that I want to tell, and am motivated to tell.
I once again look forward to writing.
And that makes this story special to me.
Like I do with Pony Gear Solid's Document blogs, I'll periodically write reflective pieces about published chapters, detailing my creative process, any whimsical stories about drafting, or talking about the events and characters. This one's just for me to reflect on the story's origin; there'll be a forthcoming blog for the first chapter.
For now, I'd just like to thank you guys for your interest in my humble story about magic, lesbians, suffering, lesbians, and other lesbians.
"Susnit... rabu."
I'm so ready to suffer through more Rhyme-verse in the best possible ways.
posh pls stop hurting me :C
Your experience with meguka was pretty similar to mine, except that I can directly blame you for telling me about it a while back. Thanks, ya big stinker.
(also I'm so proud of you poshyyyyyyy)
media.discordapp.net/attachments/609180131008970763/707986041096765470/EXDFkbZU8AAXWX3.png?width=493&height=475
It's not just you, everybody is turning to fanfiction in this unprecedented time, either as a reader or a writer. This morning, there was literally a front-page article in the Wall Street Journal on the subject. Mainly about how people are imagining the ways their favorite characters are fighting the virus or dealing with the lockdown. (What they don't mention is how 99% of everything on Ao3 is badly written erotica, or just plain badly written, but whatever.)
EXCUSE YOU I'm pretty sure I'm not nobody! At least, I think I am a person who exists.... Really don't need to have an existential metaphysical crisis now on top of everything else, so thanks for that. For realsies tho, I look forward to seeing how Good Turn plays out, and continue to hold onto
foolishhope that we'll finally see an update to that certain crossover that's been in and out of limbo for nearly a decade.As for the current project, I'll readily admit that I just don't get anime. I've watched a few of the mega-popular ones that every filthy casual has watched, but animus like Paula Magical Madonna I see in my peripherals and my brain just doesn't know how to process what my eyes are seeing. I have Dolori filed away for later reading, and am going to give it an honest chance because I am a huge slut for Sunset Shimmer and always like seeing more of Wallflower Blush, but I have got to ask: how accessible is this story to people who know literally nothing about the anime it crosses over with?
Lastly, I want to say that I am happy/jealous that you've managed to get back your writing groove in the midst of this virus-ridden hell year, and only wish that I could say the same. Being out of work and quarantined has left me with plenty of time to write, but in exchange it's sapped all of my creativity and left me with apathy. How did you keep the "lockdown blues" from impeding your writing?
5260764
I pressure him to get back to work on it every chance I get. It's bound to produce results eventually.
I also know nothing about this weebshit, and I'm on the editing team, so don't worry. Your boy Danny got ya back.
5260764
I didn't mean to imply you were nobody!
I'm speaking out of bitterness and disappointment, to be perfectly honest. That was a story I had a lot of faith in, to the point of commissioning art for it, and which had a lot of myself in it, too. Yet it skirted very much under everyone's radar. Almost three years on, and it's among my least-read publications.
It's hard not to feel a little dejected after that. But I'm looking forward to bringing it back and finishing it for good.
I would say that the anime is not required viewing to understand the story. The story will be grounded in Sunset and Wallflower's perspectives, and since the world of Madoka Magica is unfamiliar to them, it follows that they'll have to discover the rules and the mythos for themselves. That's as much for the benefit of readers unfamiliar with the anime, who would likewise need some guidance through the story, as it is for people who do know it, and who can read into the significance behind certain characters and events.
That said, it will spoil pretty much the entire show, and every significant plot twist, for someone who's never seen it. If you never plan to watch the show, then that shouldn't be a problem, but I'd recommend sitting through it at least once. It's suggested viewing, not mandatory.
To be perfectly blunt, it's because I've had so much more time lately due to lockdown blues that I've been able to get back into writing.
A couple years ago, I blogged about being worried that starting my then-new job would sap my time and creative energy, and result in a diminished output from me as a writer. As it turned out, that's exactly what happened. It's only within the last few months that I've had the time to refocus on my writing.
I suspect the cycle will repeat when this is all over, but for now, I'm trying to make the most of it. I hope you can as well.
5260815
You sir are doing God's work
5260818
Don't worry, I was only being silly about the "nobody" thing. Trust me, I get your frustration over Magnum Opus Dissonance. I feel the same way about the most recent story I published (though that has the drawback of being a part of a very long ongoing fic series literally millions of words long). I just wanted you to know that you've got at least one reader who's invested in Sad Cheerilee; you've clearly put a lot of yourself into her and that always makes for a compelling story.
As for magical girl lesbians, I suppose I'll give the first chapter of your fic a read and if I like it enough, I'll take the deep dive into the anime. Fuck it, I'm not doing much else these days. Just know that if that happens, I blame you for turning me to the weeb side!
5260815
I fixed your post.
I'm glad you're back on the horse.
I will never not love that joke, nor tire of whipping it out when folks come back from their hiati.
5261563
“hiatus” is fourth declension
I watched the series and the movie, and remember thinking it was bizarre to have a shojo anime about cute girls attending school, making friends, and getting killed horribly by terrifying monsters. I remember spending a lot of time thinking about the movie's ending.
But now, I don't remember anything specific about the series. No names, no plot points, how it began or how it ended, or how many characters there were. My brain wiped it out entirely.
5267451 That’s because Homura reset the timeline and erased your memory.
5267485 Oh. Okay then.
Man, I even wrote a long blog post about it that I'd forgotten.
5268274 That’s very interesting. You should write a reflective blog post about your struggles with memory loss.
5268347
Probably not. I've found people just think I'm lying or making excuses if I talk about my memory problems.