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  • Today

    “I think I can say it's early now, Amber.” Twilight said as she approached the painter. After what Applejack had told her, she needed to make sure things didn't get out of control.

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    2 comments · 14 views
  • Wednesday

    Applejack found the young painter just where Rainbow Dash had said she would be. She knew the spot well and had spent more than a few evenings sitting here, just staring out over her little piece of Equestria.

    With some measure of relief she saw that Amber no longer painted with a knife, and was carefully painting treetops. “This your homework?” Applejack asked as she approached.

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    5 comments · 34 views
  • Tuesday

    Amber threw herself on her bed as she finally stopped pacing her room. She rolled over and looked to the blank canvas on her easel, her homework that was due in in less than twelve hours now. She needed to paint a landscape with a skyline, and in her pursuit to find the one she wanted to do she had spent so much time looking that she had now lost the chance to do any. Even though it wouldn't be

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    2 comments · 31 views
  • Friday
    I Played Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade

    Back when Lucas Films was known for more than Star Wars, and now they're both owned by Disney. I'm actually not upset there hasn't been an Indy movie for a long time. Back to the game.

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    0 comments · 7 views
  • 1 week
    I Played Captain Comic

    My nostalgia is really active lately. And, full disclosure, I was terrible at this game as a kid, and more than twenty years later, I'm no better.

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    0 comments · 14 views

I played Manos: The Revenge of Torgo · 5:26am May 9th

This one is something else.

Just a bit of the back story to set up the game.

Have you seen Manos: The Hands of Fate?

It's a movie made on a dare by a manure salesman. The mindset being “It can't be that hard to make a movie.” Well, they did make the movie, so I guess he won the bet. It is a gloriously bad movie, they re-dubbed the lines and the kid sounds nothing like a kid, there isn't a single shot more than 15 seconds because their camera wasn't capable of filming that much.

I heard a rumor that after it's premier that they considered re-dubbing again as a comedy, but I think it's a better comedy as is than a re-dub could have done.

As for the story of the movie, a family is going on their first vacation (don't worry they mention it a few times.) But Micheal, being a typical guy, can't ask for directions and gets lost and they end up at a lodge where they meet Torgo. He takes care of the place while the Master is away.

Torgo is a man with large knees. He's supposed to be a satyr, but he's just got big knees.

Micheal decides they're staying there and makes Torgo bring in their luggage (after Torgo told them they can't stay. Reminds me of another Sub reddit.)

Turns out that the Master is some kind of priest for a D-list demon playing deity and has a harem that fights each other in thin robes. Torgo decides he wants Micheal's wife for himself, which the Master doesn't like as the Master wants Micheals wife for his harem. Torgo then get's gently massaged to death before the Master rips off his hand and he (as in Torgo) goes running off into the woods. (That's pretty much the order of things, not that it makes much more sense in the movie.)

The family tires to escape, fails, and Micheal takes Torgo's place as caretaker. I'd suggest you watch the MST3K or Rifftrax of Manos: The Hands of Fate. You don't need to to enjoy this game, but it is so much better when you know the background.

Okay, so this game takes place after the movie. You're Torgo, the former (by one day) caretaker of the Master's home. A skull Mask affixes itself to you and starts insulting you. You go out for revenge. The game itself is more of a reskin of a different game (Splatterhouse I think) but I also think that's selling the game short. It's a side scrolling beat-em-up, and the controls aren't great, though it's so much better to use a controller than a keyboard. It's got plenty of glitches, and things don't always seem to work right.

I spent part of my time bashing my head against a wall for one flaw or another, but far more time laughing myself sick. Sometimes for those same bugs (and funny achievements that went with them) sometimes for the humor, and a lot for the concept itself.

My favorite scene is the one with the skull headed woman. (You'll know when you get there.) I bust my gut laughing and loved the music.

It's challenging too. (At least for me.) I haven't actually beaten it yet, but I believe I'm at the last boss.

The graphics are akin to those of an early arcade machine that perfectly match the tone and style of game.

The banter between the Mask and Torgo still gets me when I play, and I've begun searching each level for the couple making out in the car. I've also spent some time achievement hunting. I love this short, free, ridiculous, game of a bad movie.

Again, it's free and you don't need too much more than a potato to run it. If you like beat-em-ups, or just like laughing at ridiculous things, I'd recommend playing this game.

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Comments ( 3 )

I...actually might play this just to see what it is like. It sounds like at the very least, it will be an experience...of some kind

Of some kind.
There's certainly some oddball humor in it.

quirky humor can be nice, or a bit...well I said it quirky

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