Rewrite the Paths · 5:47pm May 7th, 2020
The creative process is always fun to witness, my own or others. Especially when I can look back and marvel at my own derpery.
In my case, I often start with a dialogue skeleton, then flesh out the scene from there. But sometimes it can be weeks between bone and other tissue, and how I imagine things going can shift in the interim. Especially when I bulk it out one way, forget about that one, and use the same bones to build a completely different beast like I'm a 19th century paleontologist. On that note, here's a might-have-been preview of an upcoming story:
The discontented murmuring filling the annual Canterlot Garden Party fell silent as one stallion stepped forward, teeth gleaming almost of their own accord. "Lady Ponyville, always a pleasure."
Applejack allowed Blueblood to kiss her hoof, then gave his a hearty shake. "Yer lookin' well, Larry."
Rarity had to fumble for her wineglass. The shock had made her release her magical grip. "Pray excuse us for a moment, Your Highness," she said as she led Applejack a few steps away. Blueblood rolled his eyes at her.
"Applejack," Rarity hissed once they were far enough away, "did you really just call Prince Blueblood 'Larry' to his face!?"
Applejack's look of confusion gave way to an eager grin. "Sure! Polaris Vladimir Blueblood, sixth o' his name, Heir to th' Royal House o' Platinum, Duke o' Canterlot, Scion o' th' House o' Mercury, Cupbearer o' Princess Celestia, five-time winner of th' Annual Canterlot Competitive Wine Tastin', an..." Her face fell after she trailed off. "Aw, shoot, I always forget that last one. Hey, Larry!" she shouted back at the prince. "What comes after th' wine tastin'?"
He gave a warmer, more indulgent smile than anything Rarity had ever seen from him at the Gala. "Ambassadorial duties."
"That's it! An' Ambassador to Dimondia." After a moment, Applejack turned to the prince—the prince!—and said, "It is still Dimondia, right?"
"For now. I do have designs on Yakyakistan, but the yaks have long memories and my predecessors did not comport themselves as well as they could."
Applejack shook her head. The head that was still wearing the hat she'd worn while mucking out a literal pigsty the day before. "Ain't that always th' way? They make a mess an' now you gotta clean up after 'em."
"Just so," said Blueblood. "Deplorable."
Rarity blinked as her mind tried to stay on track. "Wait, I thought titles were arranged in descending order of importance."
Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. "You got foalnapped by Diamond Dogs, Rares, and you ain't even th' only unicorn I know who can say that. How good d' you think our relations with Dimondia are right now?"
"Ah. I see." Rarity staggered away. "If anypony needs me, I'll be on the balcony, reevaluating my life."
can't wait for more
...
I wonder who's the ambassador to Yakyakistan...
And ohh... Mercury! Nice!
I can so relate to that
Positive spins on Blueblood are always welcome. Giving him and Applejack a history sounds even better.
I like this. A lot.
You write out dialogue skeletons? Interesting. I tend to act out the dialogue in my head. Sometimes frequently. For my longer stories, I may have a single scene I know I intend to get to, and I'll act it out dozens of times in my head long before I ever get around to the chapter in question.
And then I still end up writing the dialogue differently from all the prior iterations.
"foams at the mouth"
I need more
Write the story. Do it now.
Fun fact: mercury poisoning is where the phrase "mad as a hatter" comes from. The connection between haberdashers and adventurers is less of a leap than you might think.
I personally love the idea introduced by the comics that when Blueblood is actually carrying out his formal duties he's a consummate professional who is utterly loyal to Equestria. Ever since season 9 ended I've been toying with the idea of commissioning a story where the Mane 5 and Blueblood have to work together and that professionalism is the source of conflict. Blueblood would feel that part-timers who have other unpredictable commitments across Equestria can't possibly be a good idea to be the chief advisors of the Ruling Princess. No snobbery involved.
I am intrigued. I always like the idea that some of Applejack's high society training and connections stuck,
And this Blueblood reminds me of the one from The Quiet Equestrian, who I also liked. A bit of an upper class jerk, BUT.
amazing
Oh jeez.
"Can you believe it?" hissed Rarity once she got Twilight out of immediate sight of the rest of the party, which involved a bush and some hissing at the young couple who likewise had been looking for a little privacy. "She called Prince Blueblood, Larry! Right there!"
"I know," said Twilight with a heaving sigh. "It's as undignified as calling Princess Celestia, Marlene, or Princess Luna... Well, let's just go back out there and support our friend. We can discuss tact lessons later, when we have more time. Besides, Larry didn't seem to mind. Come on."
With that, Princess Twilight Sparkle trotted back out into the party, leaving Rarity to stare rather absently at nothing at all, with a tiny twitch beginning to show at the corner of her eyelid. "Princess Celestia's real name is Marlene? And Princess Luna... Um... Twilight? Oh, bother."
Oh Gaia, that's delightful. Of course, this gave me flashbacks to Pinky and the Brain and Larry (yes, this was a thing for one episode):
5257854
What’s the connection with mercury? Is that more than just I’ll randomly assigned Pony name?
Cook would face-hoof.
But he would not be surprised.
Huh. Interesting. I tend to visualize scenes more or less in the opposite order—“what happens” comes first, with “what do people say”, or at least “how do they say it”, filling in afterward.
I honestly love this, Rarity's confusion, Blueblood's common decency, and Applejack knowing far more about Canterlot nobility than anyone would expect her to. Reading between the lines it seems that the Apple family was ennobled when they founded the town, and Applejack has been representing the town and family without ever bothering to tell Rarity.
Which is a special kind of amusing really, when you get down to it.
"Well shucks sugar cube, you just never asked!"
5257896
Nope, it's less than random. it's Elementals of Harmony Related. See this post:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/321619/they-live-on-in-these-parts#comment/7609222
5257862
Or should that be "Fomes at the mouth"?
I can't think about a "secret nobility" Applejack anymore without getting a bit of an Estee vibe. Your version seems to have a lot fewer issues tho!
5257996
ARGH! I can't believe I missed that golden opportunity
Interesting. I personally follow something closer to 5257861's described process, but I'm curious how you usually approach non-dialogue-heavy scenes - action scenes, for example.
Oh, poor Rarity. It's not every day you get your world turned on its ear, even in Ponyville.
Hah! :D
I look forward to seeing the full story this could have been from. :)
5257854
Well, whoever the last Yakyakistani ambassador was, they bungled the diplomatic situation to the point we saw in "Party Pooped," so they must have done something to offend the yaks.
5257858
Blueblood's a lot more fun when he's both foppish and competent. His Friends Forever comic with Shining did an incredible amount for his character.
5257861 5258008
The skeletons are a part of the process. There's also refining the idea from an "It'd be cool if" to a progressively less vague outline, and even acting out scenes to make sure the dialogue or exposition flow naturally. Depending on how inspiration strikes, these steps may occur any number of times and in any order. It doesn't help that I'm bouncing between what feels like half a dozen different ideas right now.
5257862 5257996
No, silly, FoME's at a keyboard.
5257865
Ooh, that is a good idea. Especially since Blueblood would have a point. They're about as qualified to run the country as they are to run a school... though now I'm imagining Twilight's answer to the Civilization II High Council. (Dash as Military, Rarity as Economic, and Pinkie as Attitude work, though Spike seems to have Foreign covered and someone like Moondancer would be preferable for Science.)
5257866
I also love the idea of Applejack never quite shaking that Manehattan charm schooling... though I can't guarantee she'll actually use any of it in the story.
5257870
The real reason Sunset Shimmer was banished was because she called Celestia Marlene in the middle of an extremely crowded court session.
5257910
As noted in my previous reply post, the two have a somewhat more nebulous relationship with my writing. Idea, outline, dialogue, details is the typical order, but hardly the only one.
And yes, I'm sure Applejack's usual approach to these affairs would take years off of Cook's life if he didn't know her (well, a her) so well.
5257919 5258000
Hey, when the crown personally gives your family land, you're nobles by definition. The Apples just chose to be their own serfs. (Heck, it's possible that Granny Smith thought Pear Butter was a shameless social climber on top of being a Pear.)
5258087
The actual story will be set at that first Gala. The poor thing won't even have a chance to get used to regular world-shaking revelations.
5258233
You know, I've always had the thought in the back of my mind that Applejack can put on a wonderfully smooth Boston Brahmin accent when she wishes to. She very rarely does, mind you, but she can do it. Likewise, Rarity has spent most of her life very carefully loosing a thick Long Island accent inherited from her parents.
As to the Gala, well that promises to be all kinds of entertaining.
"Oi Larry! She's a friend of mine, you can stop with the posh ceiling-licker act!"
5258232
If you like the idea enough you can have it. I can hardly object to the story existing for free
As for the girls positions I think of them in Crusader Kings 2 Council terms. Rarity is Chancellor, Rainbow Dash is Marshall, Applejack is Steward, Pinkie Pie is Court Chaplain (Of the church of parties) and Fluttershy is Spymaster (her animals see everything ).
I love any story that shows tgat
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Addendum: Just rewatched "Best Night Ever" to make sure I have the Gala timeline straight and wow, it is disconcerting to see Season 1 again, especially since it's been about five and a half years since the last time I saw the episode. Also, it turns out Applejack and Blueblood are literally never onscreen at the same time. This will make the cover interesting...
5258347
What about when he and Rarity get fritters at AJ’s stand?
5258347
Here's why:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/18/8353.jpg
5258347
But also leaves more room for the premise of the fic, if not the RariJack that 5258357 is pushing. (It's admittedly all but canon for the humans, but Appledash is for the ponies)
5258358
While RariJack is certainly the OTP and any denial of such is tantamount to heresy, in this case I only added the image because it felt pertinent and amusing to the ongoing topic of discussion.
Huh, I don't outline my scenes at all; I write a very stream-of- conscious draft in one if my notebooks and then re-write the scene in Gdocs. Unless that counts as an outline?
5258363
Head canon accepted, sir.
5258008
I do write an outline for most of my fight scenes, because pacing and flow is more easier to screw up than in a conversation.
This sent me into a hard laughing fit and my chest still hurts.
Thanks, I needed a good laugh. ^_^
As for the main topic of the blog, it looks interesting.
I love the idea of "real names" or whatever you might call them. It's an idea I've kicked around in my head for a bit but, well, I'm not writing as much as I should be... .
5258380
Interesting - I myself don't tend to write it down unless there are lots of little details i might otherwise forget (like if I wanted x, y and z characters to each contribute something minor), but I do always try to sort of storyboard the action scene out in my head before writing it. That said, I may start writing it down when fights get really complicated just to try and keep it coherent. I doubt I'll manage it, but hope springs eternal.
5258347
Wait, so does that mean that Applejack and Blueblood are actually the same person? Like Applejack is the Supermare to his Clark Kent?
5258357
I think that's the first pony image I faved on DA.
5258233
Turns out the feud between Apples and Pears was literally the local nobility squabbling.
5258232
I really liked that one. Sooo much better than the Deviations thing.
What I always found immensely interesting, something I have never seen picked up in any story as of yet ever, is that when Blueblood spat out Applejack's apple fritters, calling it "common carnival fare", she didn't actually disagree with him. She didn't go "no u!" she went "Ah hay, they eat their fill on the fancy stuff, they're full when they get here! Well, then I'll show them I can cook fancy too!" And then she did.
Plus Applejack can be at least as ignorantly insensitive herself, just in the opposite direction. Gardening during a garden party, anyone? So maybe Larry and Jack could become friends of a sort, if they manage to meet on neutral ground at some point, where neither is likely to trample on the others' lifestyle choices. Like... a diplomatic trip to some place both feel out of place. Have the map send Applejack along. Applejack and Fluttershy.
They and Blueblood are sent to a town at the border of Equestria to help deal with a band of raiding perytons. The trip leads through catoblepas territory, very dangerous critters. Obviously Fluttershy is meant to calm any critters they come across while Applejack will provide muscle... but they arrive without meeting a single catoblepas and ponies and perytons negotiating a hostage release: the son of the peryton warlord is held captive in town.
While Blueblood tries to maintain the peace, Applejack finds out a) the perytons are harassing the ponies because they accidentally angried a group of local catoblepas and now those creatures drove them from their homes and b) the son's in love with the pony mayor's daughter—but he can't admit it to her, and the perytons as a whole won't admit what they did with the catoblepas for fear of looking weak and foolish before their long-time enemies. So Applejack must teach him to be honest about his feelings, and his people to be honest about their predicament. Fluttershy, meanwhile, wandered off, found the catoblepas, who had their nest caved in when the perytons built on top of it, and convinces them to forgive. And Blueblood has to keep ponies and perytons at the negotiating table so they can hammer out a more cooperative future.
Some trimming and I think that would've made for a nice episode.
5257861 Generally, I'll have a mental 'thumbtack' for the dialogue that may as vague as "Pinkie meets Twilight, confounds her, bounces on down the road." Then I sit down and write out the dialogue without editing from beginning to end so there's no 'Twilight's eye began to twitch' or anything in it. Then a week or so later, I get back to polishing it up, and normally I'll hit a point where a section breaks from common sense. I hit return about twenty times, giving me some space to re-blurt more dialogue, toss out some of the previously written, move some around, then go away for another week. Repeat that until there are only occasional words being moved around, extra commas nuked, etc... It gives me the advantage of natural dialogue flow while still keeping the advantages of outlines, it's just that my outlines are really detailed, and you need the willpower to nuke cute turns of phrase that don't really fit.
Pants forever!