• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Andrew Joshua Talon

Just a fellow traveler...

More Blog Posts291

  • Saturday
    Happy Independence Day

    Now I will say this: Yes, these are hard times. But hard times have always existed. Yes, our country has failed to live up to its ideals at times... Which is why we need to work all the harder for them to be reality.

    But today? We celebrate freedom. We celebrate the city on the hill. We celebrate the courage to tell a bunch of greedy overbearing government officials to shove it.

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    2 comments · 73 views
  • Wednesday
    Hands: Canceled

    I gave it my all and for years I have tried to get Hands properly concluded. But the simple truth is, I am a different person than the one who started a crazy Human in Equestria parody that became indistinguishable from the real thing.

    So in light of this, I have decided that Hands will never be continued as is.

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    21 comments · 707 views
  • Wednesday
    The Stars Revolt: Trap

    Dash: "I bet you that you can't catch Twilight with a book."

    Shepherd: "I... Why?"

    Dash: "Because it would be funny."

    Shepherd: "And the stakes?"

    Dash: "... Twenty bits."

    Shepherd: "You're on."

    And so...

    Shepherd: "Hmmm... I need to be really diabolical about this..."

    He puts a book entitled "DON'T READ THIS BOOK" under a box held up by a stick

    And hides

    And waits

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    7 comments · 386 views
  • Tuesday
    Plot Bunny Theater: Simulations of Evil

    Thanks to Big Mac, Spike and Discord's O&O sessions, Twilight gets the idea to try training and simulating different scenarios for the Elements of Harmony and their allies to Live Action Role Play. And of course, one of those is What If Twilight Turned Evil?


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    8 comments · 150 views
  • Tuesday
    Plot Bunny Theater: Lucky and Twilight's Hangover


    Lucky Clover: The pony whose cutie mark is based on luck. On some days, his luck is the best in the universe! Everything comes up Lucky Clover!

    On other days, his luck is the kind that drives a pony to drink.

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    3 comments · 115 views

Plot Bunny Theater: Cutie Mark Crusader Necromancers YAYYYYY · 5:42am May 1st

The Cutie Mark Crusaders got their hooves on a book of necromancy, and try to use it to raise Applebloom's pet mouse from the dead.
Applebloom: "Aw shucks... This stupid spell ain't workin' at all!"
As the rest of the Ponyville Graveyard rises from the grave
Applebloom: "Mister Squeakers ain't ever comin' back!"
Bright Mac: "Howdy Applebloom!"
Pear Butter: "Howdy little one!"
Applebloom: "... Who are you? Why do you smell so bad?"
"Ya don recognize your own parents?"
Applebloom: "... MAMA?! PAPA?! YAYYYYY! IT WORKED!"
Bright Mac: "We're so proud of you, our little necromancer!"
Pear Butter: "Now come here! You look good enough to eat!"
Bright Mac: "Your brains!"
Applebloom: "Mah brains? Ew!"
Pear Butter: "Well we don't have to get right to the brain eating, I suppose..."

But! This is not your usual zombie uprising. Because Twilight makes an important discovery.

Twilight: "As it turns out, zombies have incredible short attention spans because... They're zombies. So! We need to keep distracting them from eating brains."

Everypony stares at Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: "My time has come! HEY EVERYPONY! Who wants to have a 'I've Been Raised from the Dead by Dark Forces' Party?!"
Zombie: "But I really want to eat some brains."
Pinkie: "But you just got here! You can't jump right to eating brains! I mean, I made all these brain flavored cupcakes just for you guys!"
Zombie Pony: "Awww... Really?"
Pinkie: "Really and truly!"
Zombie Pony: "Well, I'll have a few."
Rarity: "A few?! It would be the height of rudeness to just have a few! And of course, you all need party threads! You're all dressed in your best but they could use some hemming..." A zombie's leg falls off "Among other things that need hemming too, ahem..."
Pinkie Pie: "I knew this brain shaped jello mold would come in handy!"
Twilight: "I'm not even going to ask why you bought that."
Pinkie Pie: "Hee!"

Eventually the dead are distracted long enough to be sent back to their graves... Though some take longer than others.

Pear Butter: "I'm just saying Applejack, too much work is bad for you! You need to find a good stallion, have a family! Have a co-wife! Let me eat your brains!"
Applejack: "MOM! Stop pesterin' me about havin' foals! And eatin' mah brains!"

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Comments ( 5 )

Stupid zombies. Always after brains. So rude!

Twilight: "Zecora, you wouldn't happen to know anything about putting zombies back to rest, would you?"
Zecora: "Oh? Just because my stripes are dark, you think I know the blackest arts?"
Twilight: "I didn't mean to imply anything. We're having a bit of a... not exactly zombie apocalypse, but we can only keep them off the subject of brain-eating for so long."
Zecora: "Once a pony's in the ground, my expertise won't be found. I heal the sick, that is for sure, but death is not a thing to cure."
Twilight: "Got it. Sorry to bother you; just covering my bases while I wait for Celestia to get back to me."
Zecora: "One thing, if I too may assume: The culprit here?"
Twilight: "Was Apple Bloom."

Of course we all know that some ponies would get munched and join the unwashed flesh-eaters. Which should lead to a scene like thus:

Rainbow Dash: "Yeesh, run already, ya dummies? Ain't ya never watched 'Night of the Trotting Dead"? I --"

Zombie!Zephyr Breeze: "Hey, Dash, baby. I just got a whole new outlook on things. Mind if we chew the fat -- and your brains?"

Rainbow Dash: [Kicks Zephyr's zombie head in.]

Fluttershy: "Oh, dear! Dash, you just got rid of my deadbeat -- I mean, liberated poor zombie Zephyr from his accursed existence."

Rainbow Dash: "Wait, it's okay ta kill zombies?" [Furrows brow in concentration.] "Uh, did the zombies bite anypony else like Spoiled Rich? I hope."

What does a vegetarian Zombie eat?


Moans: Grains.... Grains... Let me eat your Grains...

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