• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Andrew Joshua Talon


A fellow traveler...

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May
1st
2020

Plot Bunny Theater: Cutie Mark Crusader Necromancers YAYYYYY · 5:42am May 1st, 2020

The Cutie Mark Crusaders got their hooves on a book of necromancy, and try to use it to raise Applebloom's pet mouse from the dead.
Applebloom: "Aw shucks... This stupid spell ain't workin' at all!"
As the rest of the Ponyville Graveyard rises from the grave
Applebloom: "Mister Squeakers ain't ever comin' back!"
Bright Mac: "Howdy Applebloom!"
Pear Butter: "Howdy little one!"
Applebloom: "... Who are you? Why do you smell so bad?"
"Ya don recognize your own parents?"
Applebloom: "... MAMA?! PAPA?! YAYYYYY! IT WORKED!"
Bright Mac: "We're so proud of you, our little necromancer!"
Pear Butter: "Now come here! You look good enough to eat!"
Bright Mac: "Your brains!"
Applebloom: "Mah brains? Ew!"
Pear Butter: "Well we don't have to get right to the brain eating, I suppose..."

But! This is not your usual zombie uprising. Because Twilight makes an important discovery.

Twilight: "As it turns out, zombies have incredible short attention spans because... They're zombies. So! We need to keep distracting them from eating brains."

Everypony stares at Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: "My time has come! HEY EVERYPONY! Who wants to have a 'I've Been Raised from the Dead by Dark Forces' Party?!"
Zombie: "But I really want to eat some brains."
Pinkie: "But you just got here! You can't jump right to eating brains! I mean, I made all these brain flavored cupcakes just for you guys!"
Zombie Pony: "Awww... Really?"
Pinkie: "Really and truly!"
Zombie Pony: "Well, I'll have a few."
Rarity: "A few?! It would be the height of rudeness to just have a few! And of course, you all need party threads! You're all dressed in your best but they could use some hemming..." A zombie's leg falls off "Among other things that need hemming too, ahem..."
Pinkie Pie: "I knew this brain shaped jello mold would come in handy!"
Twilight: "I'm not even going to ask why you bought that."
Pinkie Pie: "Hee!"

Eventually the dead are distracted long enough to be sent back to their graves... Though some take longer than others.

Pear Butter: "I'm just saying Applejack, too much work is bad for you! You need to find a good stallion, have a family! Have a co-wife! Let me eat your brains!"
Applejack: "MOM! Stop pesterin' me about havin' foals! And eatin' mah brains!"

Comments ( 5 )

Stupid zombies. Always after brains. So rude!

Twilight: "Zecora, you wouldn't happen to know anything about putting zombies back to rest, would you?"
Zecora: "Oh? Just because my stripes are dark, you think I know the blackest arts?"
Twilight: "I didn't mean to imply anything. We're having a bit of a... not exactly zombie apocalypse, but we can only keep them off the subject of brain-eating for so long."
Zecora: "Once a pony's in the ground, my expertise won't be found. I heal the sick, that is for sure, but death is not a thing to cure."
Twilight: "Got it. Sorry to bother you; just covering my bases while I wait for Celestia to get back to me."
Zecora: "One thing, if I too may assume: The culprit here?"
Twilight: "Was Apple Bloom."

Of course we all know that some ponies would get munched and join the unwashed flesh-eaters. Which should lead to a scene like thus:

Rainbow Dash: "Yeesh, run already, ya dummies? Ain't ya never watched 'Night of the Trotting Dead"? I --"

Zombie!Zephyr Breeze: "Hey, Dash, baby. I just got a whole new outlook on things. Mind if we chew the fat -- and your brains?"

Rainbow Dash: [Kicks Zephyr's zombie head in.]

Fluttershy: "Oh, dear! Dash, you just got rid of my deadbeat -- I mean, liberated poor zombie Zephyr from his accursed existence."

Rainbow Dash: "Wait, it's okay ta kill zombies?" [Furrows brow in concentration.] "Uh, did the zombies bite anypony else like Spoiled Rich? I hope."

5253962
What does a vegetarian Zombie eat?

...

Moans: Grains.... Grains... Let me eat your Grains...

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