Four Hundred · 8:40pm Apr 24th, 2020
IN WHICH I LET THE FREAK FLAG FLY
Okay, so I’m not that freaky, but have some funky music anyway.
Now that that’s over, let’s get to the good stuff.
As the two of you who regularly read my blog know, every fifty or one hundred blogs, I write a stream-of-consciousness lemony fic that is usually too short to be a real story and probably violates other rules. I also often use these shipfics to sneak in spoilers for the future.
In fact, because almost no one reads my blog, and those who do may not read it closely enough, my plot twists (such as they are) still come out of left field for many readers. Sometimes I’ve been accused of what TV Tropes calls “ass-pull”.
Thing is, while I’m FAR from the best writer on this site, I know how to plot shit. The whole point of THE GUIDE is not only to have all of my stories of various universes listed chronologically in a single place as a favour to readers, but also to show that if you DO read these stories in order, I leave little plot bread-crumbs that may not pay off for some time, and then you read a later story and be like, “Wait a minute; he mentioned this in an earlier story.” Foreshadowing, baby!
With my EQG timelines in particular, I’ve dropped hints to almost everything that will happen in future stories. Even in Pony-Land, things have been in motion for a long time. As you read this, I have just edited, added five words (or 105), and posted the 4th chapter of Mayor Mare’s annual story. Chapter Five will probably be the last because it’s turned in a dark direction. I’m not happy about that since Mayor stories are supposed to be comedic, like I said before, but these are dark times, especially here in the USofA, and particularly for me, but that’s for Blog 401. Today is sexy-time.
Let’s see where this goes because I sure as hell don’t know.
“Trixie, I told you seventeen times in the last two weeks to quick groping my boobs!” Sunset snapped.
“But it’s just so fun,” Trixie replied, her arms wrapped around Sunset in a manner that in most jurisdictions would be illegal.
“Do you just not care if the cops come and arrest my ass for unlawful dalliances with a minor?”
“Sunset, Sunset, Sunset,” Trixie cooed as she slipped her left hand under Sunset’s shirt, “Sixteen is legal in Alabama.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know you’re seventeen now. But you know sending me those photos is technically distribution of child pornography even though you’ve clearly gone through puberty. While I’ll admit those laws are poorly written, it doesn’t excuse your libido. I’m nine years older than you!”
Trixie licked Sunset’s cheek. “And you’re twice Apple Bloom’s age but she wants a piece of your glorious ass for herself.”
“Wait, what?” Sunset asked in disbelief.
Trixie stared at Sunset like the latter had suddenly turned into a horse. Despite Sunset’s origins as an equine, she hadn’t. Nevertheless, Trixie felt compelled to drop the bombshell even though it might hurt her own nonexistent chances with her longtime crush.
“Oh yes. You know the Creator Above The Sky—“
“The Great One?” Sunset interrupted.
“No,” said Trixie. “Greater than The Great One. And a hell of a lot whiter. He’s allowing me to break the fourth wall to tell you the truth even though you won’t remember it tomorrow and neither will I.”
“Then what’s the point?” Sunset asked as Trixie’s continued groping entered her erogenous zone and she began to involuntarily blush and get, as rural folk like me would say, ‘hett up’.
“Because there are those on the outside who have been waiting five years to know what the Great Creator Above The Sky plans for you.” Trixie shifted herself so she was facing Sunset, gently guiding her to a sitting position.
Did I mention they’re in Sunset’s apartment rather than at school this time? I don’t think so. Well, now I have. Anyway, Sunset began to give into the temptation and sat down, her back against the wall, legs spread apart as Trixie crawled in between them until their faces were less than six inches apart.
“Fuck social distancing, right?” Trixie asked, her arousal to the point that her voice involuntarily pitched higher, which is a thing that happens with many girls when they’re turned on, at least according to Science and this writer’s own personal experience.
“Fuck everything,” replied Sunset in a just-as-involuntary whisper, her face inching ever closer to Trixie’s. “Didn’t I kill the writer a couple years ago?”
“He got better, you sexy thing,” Trixie said simply. “Now he’s bored and is shipping us. Guess he’s saving Apple Bloom for a later time.”
Sunset’s eyes half-closed as she and Trixie locked lips for like a minute or so. Sunset gave into temptation and copped a quick feel of Trixie’s own modest chest. Very perky, which was no shock considering she was still a teenager.
“I hate the writer,” Sunset said although her emotions were obviously more focused on the underage (by less than a year) girl who’d successfully propositioned her.
“So do I,” agreed Trixie. “Does he see no other role for me than to want to fuck you? Well, Trixie is fine with that.”
“You just started speaking in the third-person again,” said Sunset, pointing out the glaring flaw in the writing.
“Yes, well, the writer forgot Trixie’s characterization until literally just now,” said Trixie as both of us remembered the lesson MythrilMoth taught me a few years ago. “Maybe for the best Moth isn’t alive to read this tripe.” Trixie gave Sunset another kiss and grope, with which Sunset countered by rubbing Trixie’s ass. Again, not as substantial as Sunset’s own, but better than a thirteen-year-old late-blooming child.
Sunset asked again. “Why Apple Bloom?”
“See,” Trixie began, “It’s because the two of you end up bonding due to both having fucked up your lives and pissed people off. You end up telling Apple Bloom all your secrets, most of which have been held back from the readers, and she gets a puppy-love crush on you.”
Trixie gently nibbled Sunset’s earlobe. It didn’t turn Sunset on. In fact it nearly cooled the heat. Blowing on Sunset’s ear, however, reignited the flame. Another few minutes of groping various areas and Sunset suddenly turned the tables, moving forward from the wall and pinning Trixie to the floor.
“That’s more like it,” Trixie said, licking her lips in anticipation.
“So I’m destined to be crushed on by a literal child? Even you weren’t quite that young when you started coming on to me.”
“Your glorious breasts, Sunset. They enamour not only Trixie, but everyone around you. How do you keep in such good shape for your age?”
“Twenty-six isn’t old, Trixie. I can go just as well and as hard as a teen or college girl. In fact, I have more experience,” Sunset said as she ripped Trixie’s shirt off and kissed her lips again.
Once they broke off the kiss, Trixie said. “Trixie feels sorry for Apple Bloom, really. She’ll never know the glory of turning you on, at least not in the writer’s personal canon. In fact, I don’t know if she’ll ever find love.”
Sunset began massaging Trixie’s breasts just for the hell of it. “You act like you know.”
“I do, for now. You know she’s appeared in almost all of these sexy-time stories cloaked in shadow? The battle between me, Rarity, and Sonata? Apple Bloom was the fourth girl. I also feel sorry for Rarity.”
“Why? Didn’t the writer make a shipfic with me and her before I killed him? Or after? I can’t remember the timeline.”
“There are so many even Trixie can’t keep track,” said Trixie. “Just stick your fingers in my—“
“I don’t think so,” Sunset interrupted. “I’ll do a lot, but that’s taking it a bit far.”
“Oh you fucking tease,” Trixie cooed yet again. “But yes, I feel bad for Rarity because even though she did hook up with you in a different timeline, her little sister is going to end up way bustier than her. Like, her boobs will be your size before she graduates high school. Your boobs still had a bit to go at that point, right?”
“Right. I suppose I could tell Apple Bloom about that if she gets depressed about being so scrawny.”
“You will. I think that’s Week Six or Seven. You get to tell her about me in Week Four.”
“This is hurting my brain. So much fourth-wall breaking and spoilers for stories that may never be fully written. The fact that there’s been almost no editing this whole time…” Sunset trailed off.
“Then just shut up and fuck me,” said Trixie simply.
And then they fucked.
THE END.
That’s it. Aside from fixing typos and bad grammar while typing, the “story” above is 100% stream-of-consciousness on the fly with no additional editing. You’re welcome.
Yes, I’m almost as frustrated as Trixie and basically every other girl AND boy who wants a piece of Sunset. NO ONE gets her (unless you count Rarity in that Romance addendum which y’all may count as canon to my EQG world but I don’t — I wrote those last few stories for you. Of course I enjoyed writing them and don’t regret them at all, but it’s not my vision for Sunset’s future in any of the main timelines).
My brain is like the classic comic strip Peanuts, which I’ve mentioned and praised more than once on my blog. All love must be unrequited because happiness is an illusion. Misery is the only constant. If we’re lucky, we can escape the misery just long enough to forget it before being pulled back in. But is that a good thing, to forget misery? If it’s inevitable, perhaps embrace it rather than being hurt worse once it returns. Genuine philosophical conundrum. Or maybe I’m just insane.
I’m definitely insane.
This blog, as the “Hundred” ones usually do, has gone on far too long. Just take solace in the fact that I’m still around for now and still working on stories for you. The ideas have not stopped, though the physical and mental process of writing isn’t always easy. Just like I have for over five years now, I’ll try my best.
Thank you for your support. Seriously. Without y’all, I’d just be raving in an empty field. Though actually I do that now due to my situation, but hey.
Peace out.
Hey my brain's a little out there atm so I can't really read much of anything right now. But I'm glad you're at least hanging in there and getting shit churned out. If I'm lucky I'll finally get some writing done tonight. I haven't gotten anything done in 2 months. :(
I know what you mean by not letting anyone have your character. :P Tbh I don't care what anyone does with any of my OCs so long as it's out of love and not out of malice.
Fo Hunnert!
5249691
FYI, I'm currently working on Chapter Five of the 2020 Mayor Mare story. I'm a little irritated with a certain reader who's been complaining about the story, so I'm just gonna punk everyone. It sure does look like I'm gonna kill Granny Smith off -- or rather have her fake her death -- doesn't it? Well, I need to do a little research into classic movies but I hope the result will be well worth it.
5252714
Makes me miss Tree-Fiddy though.
5253568
How likely is it Alicorn Granny Smith can be killed though? :P
Edit: Tbh Annie and the Spider story have been my favorite content of yours.
5253602
Celestia says it herself -- "literally impossible".
I have a good idea what's going to happen and it involves Trump-pony. Also the Mayor gets drunk.