Friendship is Card Games: Feats of Friendship #1 & #2 · 11:50am Apr 19th, 2020
We return to the side stories for the penultimate time before fully catching up. The theme for the recent ones appears to be non-ponies (and Sandbar.) After this is the first EqG comic since Anon-a-Miss and an upcoming crossover with Transformers. But for now, we look at the Student Six.
Feats of Friendship #1
Remember, fighters can take bonus friendship feats every even level. (Or whenever they would get an ability score improvement if you’re playing 5e.)
Ah, a series of team-based practical applications of the lessons the students have learned. A sort of “Friendship Games,” if you will. I’m sure nothing bad will come of it. Certainly no hazards to the continued integrity of time and space.
Also, Twilight’s putting those experienced Ponyville construction crews to work. After all the rebuilding they’ve done, knocking together a coliseum should be foal’s play… though things like the RV and crane with treads raise the usual questions about just what Equestria’s tech level is supposed to be.
There’s also the question of what some of the things on Twilight’s chalkboard are meant to represent. Coordination is presumably tied to barn-raising, though I’m not sure how that’s going to work in the stadium. Cooperation seems to be… Tartarus? I mean, the Mane Six breaking out of the prison definitely qualifies as an object lesson, but again, not an easily portable one. Generosity I flat out don’t get, never mind why it’s the only actual Element of Harmony on display. And even the symbol for Comradery (sic) doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing.
Seven team members? A curious number to use… unless Twilight’s counting Spike (or possibly Starlight) in her own adventures, in which case, good on her.
Hello, Swift Foot. I’m sure you’re not the villain of the piece. Never mind the question of why your name isn’t Swift Hoof. (I know, ponies do have feet, but it’s weird to see it used over hooves.)
Wow. That’s the most reaction I’ve seen out of Sandbar when the apocalypse wasn’t nigh. Depending on when this is in the timeline, Swift Foot may need to defend herself for a vengeful yak.
Ah. Yona’s going for friendly smashing. That works too. And I have questions about the Yakademy.
Yup. Definitely not the villain of the piece. Just another typical happy pony from House Greyjoy.
Ah, yes. The unfortunate implications of Celestia’s foreign policy coming back to bite. It does make sense that Silverstream’s never asked why it took the ponies so long to do something about the Storm King. She’s been trying to put it all behind her until now.
“I’m not sure how they missed it. A whole kingdom—a whole race—just vanishing like that…”
Now this is a bit sketchier. This is, after all, Ponyville, where the residents hadn’t even heard of zebras until Twilight explained that the spooky forest witch didn’t have a skin condition. Silverstream’s beef is with Celestia here. She’s the one who let Queen Novo fall off the map… and indeed, Novo not calling for aid raises questions of its own.
Of course, given Silverstream’s nonexistent emotional distance from the event in question, she’s hardly in the most analytical state of mind here. Though part of me still wants her to dismiss Swift as another Cozy Glow.
Swift's father wanted her to become an influencer. Certainly true from a certain point of view.
“Especially since there’s not much precedent for griffons having friendly relations with ponies.”
Um… what?
And that’s just the official functions. Gabby must be worth a few centuries of official diplomatic courtesy. This one just flat-out doesn’t work. Though the appeal to Gallus’s ego does. Given his history, he’s not used to someone buttering him up. It makes sense he’d be highly susceptible to it.
“Stable Rapids” feels like an oxymoron. An especially cruel one for any creature that ends up in them.
“And you’re so articulate!” Wow, Swift. Not her exact words, but still, wow. Though mentioning a language barrier does raise some question about any other native tongues involved. At least Yona's still a mammal.
Okay, the Smolder scene raises some troubling questions. Did Twilight seriously invite a dragon without considering her nutritional requirements? Of course, that leads to the question of whether dragons need gems to survive or if they can handle a pony diet just fine. Though even if they can, there’s still the matter of Gallus and Silverstream…
Yeah, this unearths a number of issues.
There’s also the question of why Smolder’s claws left carat shapes in that apple. I’d expect something circular.
Huh. Unless there’s a marked lack of sexual dimorphism at work, Ocellus turned into a male minotaur. I mean, it seemed safe to assume changelings aren’t bound by physical gender, but it’s still an interesting tidbit
“At least your friends aren’t nervous when you change, right?”
… Um, no. No, they’re not. They haven't been since they day they all met. And Ocellus doesn’t exactly hold back with the shapechanging that often. Honestly, I’d expect her to recognize the manipulation more than anyone else, though I suppose she was a bit young for infiltrator training.
Meanwhile, Sandbar is too lovestruck to actually listen to a word coming out of Swift Foot’s mouth.
“Yak yakkity yak-yak.”
Really. Really. 
Equestrian yaks are apparently a species of Pokémon.
Interesting touch to toss the hotel room’s picture of Celestia in the garbage. For one, apparently every hotel room in Ponyville comes with a picture of Celestia, possibly as some photographic equivalent of the Gideon Bible. For another, isn’t Swift worried this will blow her cover when housekeeping comes in? (Assuming she's at all familiar with the conventions of the hospitality business.)
I’m very surprised Starlight never caught on to the fake cutie mark. Assuming Swift Foot ever met her. Really, I’d have the former villain counselor meet with every transfer student, see if she approves of their deviousness. Of course, this whole sort of plot requires the heroes to miss their Sense Motive checks for a bit, but compressing it into three issues means the obliviousness on display is greatly magnified.
Feats of Friendship #2
So in the last issue, it was the Coliseum of Feats, but now it’s the Hippodrome. Make up your mind, Purplesmart.
Interesting to see General Seaspray still officially represents Mount Aris even when they don’t have to worry about paying voice actors.
Ah yes. Without the disruptive element, everyone had a chance to talk it out and resolve their differences. And, of course, pass it off as something unrelated to the disruptive element, because otherwise we wouldn’t have a plot.
Very interesting to get some direct depictions of Clover, Pansy, and Smart Cookie, to say nothing of the additional history provided by Swift Foot. Though it does raise the question of why the founders shunned King Thrace immediately after looking past their own differences. From the look of it, he didn’t even ask to join them. He just kind of glowered in the background and waited for them to notice how cool he was, then sulked away while they were still getting over the whole “We’re still alive” thing.
There’s also the question of this “fourth tribe” business. The Thracians don’t appear to be too different from earth ponies. Swift’s messaging spell is curious, but we don’t have any further data on how it works. This separation may be more cultural than biological.
The Thracians of Earth, for reference, were a collection of tribes north of Greece. There was a specific region they inhabited, but the Greeks used “Thrace” as a term that essentially meant “All lands north of Greece,” akin to Hyperborea.
So the plan is to expose friendship as a lie by… doing everything in Swift Foot’s power to dismantle a friendship. That’s not so much exposing a lie as it is proving the concept has some vulnerabilities. Discord did the same thing, but he didn’t claim that harmony and friendship didn’t exist as concepts. Just because your ancestor got left out in the cold doesn’t mean goodwill isn’t a thing, Swift. (And oh goodness, if she ever got Discord’s attention…)
Also, I do appreciate a good “character is so busy expositing they don’t notice the scene transition” gag.
And here’s where the chalkboard from the first issue starts to become clear. Those weren’t symbols of the various virtues being tested, but the locations for and/or nature of their respective competitions. Communication is at Sweet Apple Acres, which certainly works.
Okay, but why is there an orthros here? It doesn't seem like the teachers planned for it. Did it jump in from the Everfree?
“Bridges are like friendships—you won’t get far without being generous with one another!”
Yeaaah, that doesn’t quite work.
Guys. Seriously. You can hear her sabotaging the others. At least Gallus notices. Though this really does raise the question of when this is meant to be. One mention of Cozy Glow could dismantle the entire operation… and vice versa if this predates her.
… They got a loaner from Tartarus. I have a number of questions. Not least of which is who went into the fire swamp to capture the chimera, assuming it’s the same one.
Also, the goat head can apparently breathe fire. Well then.
And the snake speaks Yak. I have yet more questions.
Ooh, cyclops. Nice. Though I have to wonder if the constant screaming comes from fear, frustration, or a blend of the two.
And we end on… something of a cliffhanger. Not like the outcome is really that in doubt. And I have to wonder Swift Foot’s endgame is. Okay, you broke up the multispecies friendship squad. Now what? Thus far, this raises some interesting questions, but there are still abundant plot contrivances needed to make Swift Foot work as a friendship saboteur.
In any case, let’s see what I can add to the festivities.
Cloudsdale Contractor 2W
Creature — Pegasus Rigger
Flying
W, Sacrifice Cloudsdale Contractor: It assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
“Sorry, no double shifts. Union rules.”
2/2
Griffin Egotist 2W
Creature — Griffin Warrior
Flying
Griffin Egotist enters the battlefield with two +1/+1 counters on it if you control the permanent with the highest converted mana cost or tied for highest converted mana cost.
“Stand back. I’ve got this.”
1/1
Embodiment of Friendship 4WW
Creature — Avatar
When Embodiment of Friendship enters the battlefield, put a flying counter on it if you control a creature with flying. Repeat this process for first strike, double strike, deathtouch, hexproof, indestructible, lifelink, menace, reach, trample, and vigilance.
5/5
Language Barrier U
Creature — Wall
Defender
Language Barrier’s toughness is equal to the number of languages among the names of permanents you control.
“Yak yakyak yik-yak yak.”
—Yona, friendship student
0/*
Disruptive Dissent 1U
Instant
Counter target spell unless any player pays 3.
“Chaos triumphs when the orderly are too distracted to speak up.”
—Discord
Ineffable Symbol 1U
Enchantment
Whenever Ineffable Symbol or another permanent you control become the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, that player puts the top three cards of their library into their graveyard.
Twilight knew what she meant. The students just stared and drooled.
Rapids Raider 2U
Creature — Hippogriff Rogue
Flying
Prowl 3UU (You may cast this spell for its prowl cost if you dealt combat damage to a player this turn with a Hippogriff or Rogue.)
When Rapids Raider enters the battlefield, if its prowl cost was paid, you may cast target instant or sorcery card from an opponent’s graveyard without paying its mana cost.
2/1
Swift Foot, Disharmonizer 1BB
Legendary Creature — Pony Rogue
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swift Foot enters the battlefield under the control of an opponent of your choice.
At the beginning of your upkeep, Swift Foot deals 1 damage to each other creature you control.
3/3
Drag Back In 5B
Sorcery
Assist (Another player may pay up to 5 of this spell’s mana cost.)
Return target creature card from one of your team’s graveyards to the battlefield. (It enters under its owner’s control.)
“We’re still in this! Act like it!”
Infatuate R
Sorcery
Gain control of target red creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
For most of her classmates, Swift Foot carefully prodded old insecurities and grudges. For Sandbar, she just had to look pretty.
Arena Crewbull 2R
Creature — Minotaur Citizen
When Arena Crewbull enters the battlefield, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card. Until the end of your next turn, you may cast that card from exile and it gains assist.
2/1
Devouring Dragon 3RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice an artifact. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on Devouring Dragon. Otherwise, Devouring Dragon deals damage equal to its power to you.
“Hey, I’m a growing whelp.”
3/3
Screaming Cyclops 5R
Creature — Cyclops
Haste, menace
He screamed for fury, for frustration, for fear. But mostly he just screamed.
4/4
Stadium Chimera 5RR
Creature — Chimera
Assist (Another player can pay up to 5 of this spell’s cost.)
Double strike
3: Stadium Chimera gets +1/+0 until end of turn. Any player may activate this ability.
Everyone loves an under-tiger-goat-snake.
3/4
Pool Resources G
Sorcery
Join forces — Starting with you, each player may pay any amount of mana. Each player creates an X/X green Elemental creature token, where X is the total amount of mana paid this way.
Sweet Apple Orthros 3G
Creature — Hound
3G: Monstrosity 2. (If this creature isn’t monstrous, put two +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes monstrous.)
As long as Sweet Apple Orthros is monstrous, it has vigilance and can block an additional creature each combat.
3/3
Celestial Portrait 2
Artifact
W, Sacrifice Celestial Portrait: Create a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying.
When Celestial Portrait is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
A reminder of the sun in dark times.
Ponyville Crystal 3
Artifact
T: Add G, W, or U.
Cycling 2 (2, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
The Tree of Harmony’s roots grow a little further every day, feeding and fed by the friendship above.
Autonomic Build-o-Mat
Artifact — Contraption
Whenever you crank Autonomic Build-o-Mat, you may put a land card from your hand onto the battlefield.
Bovinian Yakademic 3(rg)U
Creature — Ox Wizard
When Bovinian Yakademic enters the battlefield, if you cast it from your hand, add C for each artifact you control.
“Yaks only ever smash time once. Once enough.”
—Prince Rutherford
3/3
Friendship Stadium
Land
T: Add one mana of any color.
At the beginning of each opponent’s precombat main phase, if Friendship Stadium is tapped, that player adds one mana of any color of their choice.
Thrace, the Iron Isle
Legendary Land
T: Add C.
T: Put a +1/+1 counter on target legendary creature that entered the battlefield this turn.
The Thracians are a people as harsh as their home.
I think that might have also been meant to reference the river back in episode 2, where Rarity displayed Generosity.
To be fair, it didn't particularly help when it came to Cozy.
I feel I should point out the Mares of Thrace, also known as the Mares of Diomedes, also known as the Fleshmad Steeds. Just saying, there may have been very good reasons to shun this particular king.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: if you want to save a bit of money on importing foreign cards to use with Language Barrier, there's a pig who can act as a supplement.
Inside Baseball Alert: Screaming Cyclops' flavor text references Raging Goblin, and while I usually link to the oldest printing that wouldn't make sense to do here because its flavor text was different.
Protection From Editors Alert: Ponyville Crystal's flavor text is missing its italic tags. That is all.
Yaks smashing time... now I’m reminded of Diskworld, and the plot of Thief of Time. If we ever have the Men In Saffron here, they definitely are Yaks.
5245537
Ahhhhhh! I had forgotten about that. Going by Earths wendigos they may have summoned the windigos in the first place...
I hadn't read these issues until now, and... I'm kinda happy the author isn't anyone I know because this is just kinda bad
A lotta brand new inventions that don't really fit into the world of Equestria, from another tribe of ponies that was inexplicably excluded to a lot of student six microaggressions that definitely didn't happen in the show and that Twilight would never have tolerated in her school. And I'm usually flexible about this sort of thing but here it rankles me.
Points for depicting the founders though.
Considering their namesake they were a different tribe/shunned not for any racial or physical differences but more for cultural.
5245563
Something I independently thought of after I'd already posted. Another joke left on the cutting-room floor was "in another life, Smolder and Swift Foot might have bonded over pony drumsticks."
The lack of gems is especially sketchy given a) the gem-lined cave right outside city bounds, and b) Spike's own gem-rich diet.
That being said, I can't say I care much for the changeling angle of this. One thing I've noticed in stories in general that try to tackle racial prejudice is to give the people doing the discriminating a reason for what they're doing -- such as by having the humans not like the orcs because the orcs keep invading them, for instance. That's... not a good parallel for how these things work in real life, to say the absolute least. The ponies not being comfortable around the changelings isn't something that can be chalked up to racial prejudice and left at that when the changelings very explicitly invaded Equestria, what, two or three years back? In literally everyone's living memory? The shapeshifting isn't just an exotic thing the ponies don't trust, it was the changelings' main weapon when they decided that they wanted to conquer Equestria and use its people as a food source.
Of course there's the fact that Swift Foot is just trying to stir up trouble and doesn't genuinely believe a word of her rethoric, but I don't know that the story here did much to discredit or significantly address the issues in themselves -- and more to the point, combined with episodes like "School Raze" I very much get the impression that the show tried to spin the changelings as the hurt party when. Uh. They ain't.
Well, everything about the story of King Thrace is screaming unreliable narrator and half-truths. If this mini ever gets a sequel I wonder if they’ll just go the obvious route of asking the Pillars. Between Star Swirl being Clover’s mentor, Stygian’s scholarship, Rockhoof’s story collecting, and the other three being very well traveled one of them probably knows the part King Thrace didn’t want passed down.
5245563
I'm also reminded of The Elder Scrolls. Yaks broke the dragon by smashing it. Sounds like the sort of thing they'd do, and helps explain the temporal fustercluck that is the Ponyverse.
5245534
They didn't recognize it for the warning sign it was back then. Hopefully they've learned, if not by now, then by the time Starlight inherits the school.
5245537 5245563
Ah! I'd missed that Diomedes was king of Thrace. Good catch. and it certain;y does add some menacing properties to the Thracians. I'll have to find a way to work in "Sacrifice a creature" effects for the last issue. And it definitely paints Swift Foot talking about Smolder's diet in a new light...
Also, Inside Baseball Alert: Bovinian Yakademic is a much toned-down riff on Tolarian Academy, and implies that at some point, yaks sent a silver golem back in time with disastrous results. No one tell Star Swirl.
5245588
The comics run the same gamut of quality as any other fan fiction. Well, not quite the same. The editors provide a floor and the restrictions of the medium provide a ceiling. This is one of those "you probably should've hashed out the idea a bit more before publishing it" stories.
5245896
Yeah, definitely a delicate subject handled indelicately. Show me a fantasy series where the oppressed minority is the hobbits the humans swept in and displaced and who now work as domestic servants "for their protection."
5246281
Oh, there's one issue left that ties this all together that'll I'll review in the next card blog. Though I admit, I haven't looked too closely at it, and so I don't recall if they go for contemporary sources or not.
5246317
"Timeline not perfect! Yaks destroy!"
"The timeline's not perfect because you destroyed it!"
"Bah! This not yak paradox!" (Indescribable crunching sounds reverberating across space and time.)
5246354
It's the perfect explanation.
I imagine the mythopoeic force of YAKS SMASH is probably on par with that of a certain pair of green deities. Poor dragon
never knewTemporalParseException not know what hit him.Maybe this also why yak speak in strange tense and number?
I love that you made a bunch of Battlebond references for an issue about a colosseum. And Bovinian Yakademic reminds me of that Yaks In Space fic, which I have to feel must have been at least somewhat intentional.
Given the challenge of seeking out enough languages of cards to make Language Barrier do much, I think it could have 1 power.
Man, reading Friendship is Card Games without context sure is an experience.
5246356
"Yak grammar perfect! Not matter if in Equestria or Time Chasm, yak grammar always perfect!"
5246444
)
This may be a case of "your experiences are not universal." At my local game store, it feels like 10% of the loaner basic lands aren't in English. (On the other hand, I was deliberately intending to capture the feel of an Unhinged card that was trying way too hard to make its joke land at the expense of playability... though in hindsight, I have to ask myself why I was doing that.
5248822
I hope it was at least a good experience.
5248833
Oh, it is. I wouldn't still be reading otherwise. It's just funny to see how much further off the rails the comics have gone since last time I caught up with them. There's a secret fourth tribe now. That's hilarious.
5248846
As opposed to all the non-secret "fourth tribes" we've gotten in canon. (Thestrals, crystal ponies, kirin, possibly changelings and/or breezies)
5249140
Don't forget the umbrum!
5249165
I was only naming the ones that originated in the show, and in any case they weren't pony-shaped outside Sombra.
5249223
Interestingly, they mostly aren't (they're kinda like windigoes, only with darkness instead of ice), but they are explicitly called a type of pony. "Shadow ponies" was another name for them.