Some people collect coins. Others collect stamps... · 2:53pm Apr 17th, 2020
Lately, I seem to be collecting reviews. The latest is review #5 for Before the Storm: The Rise of Firefly:
Rise of Firefly will gift you hours of entertaining readings, especially if you are a sucker for military stories, like me...
My dear Firesight, I love your style of writing, it gives the right amount of weight to the story without being obnoxious. You wrote this book with your soul and it shows I can feel it and I could feel it while reading, you created a world that felt alive in its own intricacies and facets with many, many wonderful moments that are usually difficult to write and yet you did them masterfully...
The scores!
Core idea: 9.5/10 The story of Firefly is a very interesting one although the war against gryphons is one that I saw a lot, but I won’t penalize you that much for it.
Pacing: 9.4/10 The pacing is almost perfect, although what I would say is too sudden is Firefly promotions through the ranks, a bit too many in my honest opinion.
Grammar: 10/10 flawless and correct all the way to the end.
Final score:9.6/10 A wonderful incredible adventure and an honor to review it, keep it going my friend you have talent and a lot of it. Thou are a talented and ingenius writer methink you will go far in thou life with tis ability, good luck for all your endeavours.
Needless to say, check out the whole thing, and my response is in the comments. My thanks go to Firefoxino of the My Little Reviews & Feedback Group, the latter being one of the few still-active review groups on site.
Well maybe if it got more comments and views we'd stop trying to signal boost the damn thing!
Seriously, it's criminal that it's getting so little love.
5244210
I agree. But there's nothing that can be done.
Too many potential readers just don't have the patience for a story that long, particularly if it's not adult or doesn't involve familiar characters. That's two strikes against it right there.
One bit of feedback is that in the earlier chapters, before there was commentary from a modern prospective, it is sometimes hard to tell when a POV shift has occurred and who's POV it is.
I found this story via Paul Asaran`s reviews. Firefly has earned my respect. As a veteran that has been involved in combat operations, the scope of what you have written so far has the true feel of a war worn campaigner recounting desperate times. Some may disagree with what I have to say next....Many readers of this site do not like seeing Little Ponies in conflict. Fallout equestria has just as many haters as it has fans. Chengar Qordath gave us "The Lunar Rebellion " and that has only received 987 up votes and yet is a wrenching story of conflict. Anzel has given us Silent Knights Royal Guard Trilogy, 1967 up votes for the first story, 947 for the last. These stories have been finished and on this site for several years. What I have shown here is the discrepancy of a finished story line on this site for years versus your ongoing work. In my opinion the reviews for your work have been quite good. Though I disagree with the one poking at swift rank progression (dead man's shoes...an old Guard saying..) When a story makes me feel like I'm standing beside the individual viewing the same thing they are, feeling the same way they do, it's not just a story, it's a work of art. I could never write how it looked and felt to be laying in the bottom of a smoke pit while taking mortars, though I could try and mess it up royally! If you do or do not have real military combat experience, your portrayed environment, situations, and feelings are spot on and that is hard to do, even for those of us that have been there and done that....burned the T shirt types. Keep doing what you are doing and how you're doing it. Popularity will follow in the end.
5244994
That was such a nice comment! It really my favorite series by him and compares favorably with Fallout Equestria, even if it's more like TLR.
Maybe I'm living in an echo chamber but I was unaware FoE had haters at all? Kkat is revered as a brony and her story has a great ratio.
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I should have been a little more clear , Kkat is revered and honored, yet there is a segment of our herd that dislikes the FOE genre. If I recognize your "call sign" , you help edit Firefly? Good on you too! Enjoyed your Gentleman verse works.
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Ah yes. I've helped proofread and been a general "ideas guy" for Firesight since 2014. You can thank me for almost everything to do with the bat ponies in Firefly and I'm the guest writer for Barrel Rider the Highborne in Into The Storm.
Glad you liked my G4M stories!
5244994
Why thank you! I often wonder if those reviews actually draw in new readers. I'm gratified to see they do.
Thank you for your service, sir. That you feel this way speaks volumes. I am not military (aside from a failed ROTC career in college), but I've always had an interest in it and great respect for those who are, perhaps because I know now from experience I don't have what it takes.
None of these I've read, sadly.
I need to. I do remember it was either Paul Asaran or one of the other reviews that compared this story favorably to TLR. EDIT: The comparison was in the story review by xTSGx: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/784346/fanfiction-reading-update-175
Perhaps, but I still can't reach those heights, even though I honestly think this is one of the best war stories/story series on site. Getting readers for this has been a struggle from day one, and I've had to eke out my likes and readers slowly, one or two at a time per chapter or self-promotion. It sucks, but that's the way it is. People just tend not to give stories a look when they're either a) not adult, or b) not involving familiar characters. So like I said in an earlier comment, this has two strikes against it right off the bat.
Thanks again! I think I justified each of her promotions properly. In reality, she only had two at the time of the war, given a high starting rank (Sergeant) to begin with, then jumped two ranks to SFC after she successfully defended her base from multiple raids in her CO's absence, to give her proper rank for base commander and then once more to Master Sergeant to give her the minimum starting rank for appointment to the Equestrian Officer Academy after Captain Typhoon found her worthy of it. More promotions will follow, of course, and the 'dead man's shoes' saying will certainly factor in.
I'm very glad to hear that, since it's exactly what I try to do generally--immerse the reader in the a character's universe and viewpoint.
Coming from a military veteran, that's high praise indeed!
There's no stolen valor here--I make no pretense that I'm any form of combat veteran or military expert; just a lover of war epics and an amateur student of military history who has some talent at writing.
That's what I've been doing, and I've been slowly amassing followers and readers over the years. Just hit 500 followers recently, and all without a single story that just took off. I've been patient, and I will continue to be for as long as this site is around.
Thank you very much for commenting! And thank you for your service yet again.