The Reason · 6:47am Apr 17th, 2020
Well, this story was certainly an experience. It's always interesting when one of the voices in my head decides to speak up and make me pen their word fountain for them, and then insists that I post it or they will not shut up. Last time that happened actually it was with my voice named Mia and the story she prompted me to write was "Into The Mirror" which, Ironically, made it to the top of the featured page.
I'm going to address the elephant in the room here: Obviously The Reason is not for everybody. I knew it was probably going to be one of those divider stories even when I just started writing it because everything about it was done so passionately, and passion tends to lead to sparks which can light a fire. I was very hesitant to dive into such a controversial subject, but if I hadn't penned it and posted it I likely would have never heard the end of it in my head, and god do I want some peace in there for once.
Extended breastfeeding is a topic that I in particular am passionate about because I firmly believe in a woman's right to choose how she nourishes her child and for how long. I also believe in the multiple studies that have backed it's health benefits. However, I know not everybody thinks the way I do, and that's okay too. It's not my job to say what anybody should like or do. My job is to speak on things that are important to me and hope that it touches somebody somewhere, and that's what I try to do with every fic.
Stephen King said: "If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered.”. The man speaks the truth. I've posted plenty of things that people deem controversial but that I write anyways because it's my truth, and what I have experienced. Am I sorry for posting them? Hell no. But it doesn't get any easier when I post them either, because there are plenty of little voices in the back of my head that like to tell me that everybody will hate it. I post them anyways to prove that my voices cannot control my writing. They've taken control of a lot of my life but I will never let them stop me from doing what I love. And sometimes they have been proven right, which always sucks because I can't stand when they're right, but more often than not they're wrong, and I am always grateful for that.
I've experienced a myriad of ways that my voice has tried to be silenced. By my family, my voices, my ex-husband, and so I've turned to the medium of words instead. Obviously the whole internet won't like everything I do, but if I can find a few people who think like I do, it does make me feel less alone in the world, considering that I'm the only person I know whose life was literally unaffected by the Coronavirus with the exception of my mom teaching from home now. Everybody else's quarantine has basically been my every day. Except now that Mom's home I actually can go to the bathroom in the hallway without getting yelled at. Thank God.
Anyways, the bottom line is that obviously this story isn't for everybody, nor was it intended to be. My hope with posting this story (aside from what I have previously discussed) was to hopefully make any women on this site who are breastfeeding or thinking of doing extended breastfeeding (or even already doing extended breastfeeding) feel a little less alone. Even though I'm not a biological mom and just have my adoptive daughter, I definitely identified with Velvet's frustration at having nobody to talk to about mom struggles. Most of the people I know who are pregnant or have kids aren't close friends of mine, and even then I can't really identify with them because they went through things I've never been through, and the same is true vice versa.
I didn't get to hold my daughter as a baby or nurse her or go through the struggles of pregnancy. I didn't even meet her until I was twenty-three. But at the same time, they don't know yet the amazing friendships they'll have with their kids when they're older, or that feeling I had the first time I saw her in person and we ran to hug each other. We're each on our own journey.
That's really the hardest part, I think. The comments Velvet got are in some ways similar to ones I've gotten about my daughter. I've had people tell me that she's not my daughter because I didn't give birth to her, or that because she lives so far away we can't possibly be that close. You'll note that in the Author's Note of The Reason I wrote that "Twilight Velvet came into my head today and rattled off most of what you'll read below.". Most is the keyword there. But those parts about people not seeing when they've crossed a line and wanting to rip your ears off so that you don't have to hear the comments anymore? That was all me and my frustration pouring onto the page. It feels like every decision you make will always be scrutinized by somebody, whether it's for yourself or your child, and I really felt her anger, because I have it too. It's the same kind every mom has for all the unwanted or unwarranted advice that they're given regarding their children. In a way, that was universal.
For me, I think the whole point of The Reason wasn't even about Extended Breastfeeding. I think the underlying moral I wanted to bring with it was that we seriously have to stop being so judgmental about each other's choices. My way may not be your way, but it doesn't mean it's not the right way for me. I feel like with COVID-19 going on, we're all kind of slowly learning how to be more supportive of one another because we don't really have a way to connect otherwise if we don't strengthen our emotional intelligence. We have to learn that not everybody thinks the same way we do, and make peace with that instead of being belligerent about it (like my Dad and Uncle would be, for example).
I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick and tired of being judged for things that I do that can be as small as using the bathroom or as big as writing a controversial story. I'm tired of being judged, so I refuse to do any judging. I hope to God that someday I can find peace with that.
Thanks for letting me share.
Cloe
A good idea of you for why making this story
I'm not gonna lie: I was a detractor when I read this story, but I understood what was behind it.
My second story was divisive as well. (Different standing, but written for similar reasons to yours: catharsis.)
As for the story, here's the problem: nobody lives forever in the flesh. Even though we're gone, our children are left behind: they have to fend for themselves. The next generation (and each afterward) has an easier time of functioning when they are taught how to fend for themselves. Not saying to dump it on them right away, but they become more resilient in the face of adversity when taught how to be self-reliant. Thus, when they come back, it's all the more touching to the heart when they know what the next individual needs on a personal level without being told: and it's because we taught them how. To love each other, to cherish life, and to nurture those in need.