Random Thoughts #1 · 5:13am Apr 5th, 2020
Sup, peeps. It’s DatZigga.
To be honest, I’m hoping this goes unseen. Why write it? Well, humans are complicated. Despite not wanting to share their inner thoughts, they place them in innocuous places on the internet in the hope of some catharsis from posting into the well of the unknown. That’s my excuse.
In any case, as I write, I’ve just been thinking about “Anon” (aka a flanderized caricature of myself). If it wasn’t clear, the name Anon in this story is less of a method of self-insertion for anyone reading and more of a in-universe way for the protagonist to emotionally distance himself from others.
In any case, when I write, I often use music as a way to quickly define a character. As such, I’ve been listening to a lot of K.A.A.N. lately. K.A.A.N. is a Maryland rapper (funnily enough around where I live), who is notable for his incredibly fast flow and intricate rhythm and vocabulary. I’ve been really getting into some of his music as of late, more so after taking up this dumb project. I don’t know if there is any appreciation of hip-hop or rap in the Ponedom, so I’m not gonna geek on it too much.
K.A.A.N.’s music is heavily focused on his anxieties and depression, while also still enraptured in the often exotic world of the more famous hip-hop artists. I don’t know much about his upbringing, but I know for me, his music gives off this feeling of that good ol W.E.B Dubois Double Consciousness vibes. He struggles with the cultural expectation that black men are meant to be these cold-blooded, don’t-give-a-fuck-or-shit persona and the internal struggles of confronting his sensitivity and emotional awareness. He’s kinda become my new favorite, giving me a musician I can kinda relate to.
Tying this back to ponies, I’m trying my hardest to portray this with Anonymous. Anon is, as stated in “The Storm of Ponyville”, lost. Lost, in this case, is the idea that he doesn’t know whether to keep his guard up and steel himself from the weird and wholesomeness Equestria in order to protect himself, or giving in and be vulnerable and emotional, allowing himself to connect with others at the risk of potentially losing them in the future. He was raised in a culture of egoism and greed, of which he despised, but now that he is free from it, he doesn’t know what to make of a world in which that is not the norm.
That’s another thing, Equestria. I’m trying to keep to a show accurate version of Equestria as possible with very little head canons. Its an interesting exercise. For one, what does a pony know about death? We know they experience it as a result of a dangerous world and go through things such as grief, but are there murders? If they are, are they commonplace? What about other more heinous crimes such as rape, child trafficking, and other very human horrors and adult fears? I personally believe that if those things did exist, they would be exceptionally rare and unknown by the general populace of the entire planet, let alone the land.
I like to think that instead of ponies themselves having a “Heart of Darkness”, the world itself commits atrocities and merely influence creatures through magic. Ponies are completely Rousseau, in that they are born either a blank slate or good. Meanwhile, humans were likely Hobbesian in nature, whether at the very beginning or as a result of evolutionary development. This is just one of the things my dumbass thought about for a while.
This blog is going longer than I expected. I originally just wanted to talk about K.A.A.N and give praise since I have no one really to share him with. Then, I went off on a pseudo-intellectual tangent. Whoops. I’m sorry.
To leave you off, here’s a track from him I’ve been listening to on repeat a lot - Lonely. I’ve been thinking of it as kind of an ED of sorts for the story that sums up his character. And myself, though that goes without saying.
Lastly, sorry if you decide to comment and I don’t respond. It has nothing to do with you nor your opinion. It has everything to do with me being uncomfortable talking with others, even on a forum. I try to consider criticism but I have a weak heart. Still, I try.
So, later.
Thank you for sharing something that's important to you. As I don't have any background in rap, this is something I would never have heard unless you mentioned it. I find it interesting to listen to the music that inspires other writers -- there's an amazing variety.
There's a lot to dig into in the lyrics, though they go by so fast I'm curious how many listeners actually dig into the details. Maybe it's an acquired skill? Or maybe it doesn't really matter as the main "thesis" is stated pretty clearly!
It's also interesting that you chose Lonely as a theme song for Anon, as K.A.A.N seems to be trying to reach out in his song, while Anon is trying to guard himself. Neverthless, they both seem to be significantly driven by their isolation.