TTISI: Beating Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion (warning: spoilers) · 11:43pm Mar 29th, 2020
Alright, so, when I left off, I only had like, ten MemCakes left. *checks*... Scratch that, twelve.
BeeP
God daaaaaaaaammmiiiiiiiiiiit. I didn’t ask for this shit.
BeeP
Ah dammit, I’m in debt by 3000 points. Time to grind, I guess...
BeeP
Oh for fucks sake, stand still you bitch!
BeeP
For every curling bomb I miss, I will break a bone in your- oh wait, they’re octolings, they don’t have bones... SHIT.
BeeP
Why is this so hard!? *a bomb lands next to me before exploding, splatting me* DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION RANDOM ENEMY!?!?
BeeP
Ooooh shit, it’s about to get... EEL!!! *Looks at CQ Cumber, who only shakes his head and presses a button*
CQ: That joke was bad, test failed.
Worth it- *explodes*
BeeP
AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
BeeP
Okay, I got all the fucking MemCakes! Now, it’s time for... *the locker in the central hub opens* The secret boss...
BeeP
AW FUCK WHY IS SHE SO DUMMY BUFF!!!
BeeP
*finally gets through first phase after about twenty deaths* YES!!! *the random bomb that took a bit to detonate kills me* FUUUUUUUU-
BeeP
*singing*: Why the fuck you bitchin’, quit fuckin’ biiiitchin’. Three, oh my god. STOP FUCKING SPLAAAATIN’.
BeeP
Okay, I started this boss fight at like, nine in the evening, and it’s already almost one o’clock in the morning. Thank God tomorrow’s a break day.
BeeP
*fast forward, about three or four weeks later, to today* .... Oh yeah, I’ve never finished Octo Expansion, did I?
BeeP
*talking to Linkvsgaming* Now remember, I’m only doing this because I want to. When you play, I just want you to get to the end.
Link: Alright. So, how hard is the boss fight?
Me: The boss constantly gets specials with short windows to attack her, but she will also have very good aim and constant supply of auto bombs.
Link:... Damn.
BeeP
Me: I can already feel the pain.
Link: Did you die?
Me: Yep. Twice already.
BeeP
Me: Haha- HAHA!!! I got through the first- *dies from an auto bomb that just waddles up* SONOVAFUUUUuuuuuck!!!
BeeP
Me: Shut up
Link: *laughing* I just hear, ‘HELL YEAH!!! OH FUCK!!! FUUUUUUUCK!!” What happened?
Me:... My body wasn’t ready, and I lost my spaghetti.
BeeP
Me: *dodging fifty different auto bombs* No, no p, no, fuck off, fuck off, LET ME HEAL, FUCK OFF!!!
BeeP
Me: NOOOOOOOO, I WAS RIGHT THERE!!,
Link: Huh?
Me: THE MOMENT I GOT TO THE FINAL PHASE, A FUCKING AUTOBOMB WADDLES THE FUCK UP. god damn, I’m so sick of all these motherfuckin’ bombs, on this motherfuckin’ platform!
BeeP
Me: *gets to the final phase, after almost fourty or fifty deaths* Okay, this is gonna be- *The AI for Agent 3 accidentally goes up to me, and gets splatted in the fuckin’ face. It’s the equivalent of throwing a punch, aiming for the body, but you accidentally deck them in the face* HOLY SHIT!!! I DID IT!!!
Link: No way.
Me: HELL YEAH!!!
Link: So, what did you get?! What’s your reward?!
Me: A golden.... Toothpick!
Link:....
Me: I’m so happy!
Link: Hold up, I spent the last hour listening to you curse, scream, and die, wanting so badly to get to the end, and the reward for beating the hardest boss in the game, is a TOOTHPICK?
Me:... Yeah?
Link: What the fuck Yellow? Isn’t there anything else!?
Me: Nope.
BeeP
All the trails was worth it.... just for the golden toothpick I can agree