Jake The Army Guy's Horse Word Extravaganza WINNERS!!! · 7:40pm Mar 20th, 2020
Howdy, folks! First and foremost, as always, Adorable Applejack:
Appul Weeb
Now then...
Well, after way too many damn delays, it's finally time to announce the winners of the second installment of Jake's Horse Word Extravaganza! We had some amazing entries this time. Not as many as the last time, seventeen compared to forty, but what we got was really special. We had a tough time whittling it down to the finalists, but we eventually sussed it out.
I want to start by once again thanking our judges, FanOfMostEverything, Categorical Grant, and totallynotabrony. You guys too the time out of your busy schedules to read each of the entries, and I can't thank you enough. Secondly, thank you so much to everyone who participated. Since I can't write anymore, it warms my little heart to know I can at least inspire others to do so. Now, let's get to it! First off, in addition to choosing the winners, each of our judges picked an Honorable Mention.
Our first honorable mention comes from FanOfMostEverything, and he picked Dance of the Sirens; An Adventure of Plainity and Eyepatch by Tigerhorse. He says, "This contest produced a lot of quality siren stories, ones that look at the species as a whole and try to make them fit into the larger world of FiM. Sirens aren't just monsters, they're sapient beings, and that can come with culture, society, and all manner of other world building questions. This one stands out for two reasons: Fitting sirens into Equestria's manual-override ecology, and the titular Plainity and Eyepatch. Yeah, turns out the disguises from "Friendship University" are actual ponies who exist, serving as a Greek chorus/audience surrogate/plot catalyst/what-have-you that takes a fairly standard conflict and makes it into something much more memorable."
Categorical Grant picked The Ballad of Maelewano by Rambling Writer, saying, “The Ballad of Maelewano is a perfect example of why form often matters more than substance. The sheer amount of effort placed into rhyming the stanzas, and the clarity and simplicity of its diction, makes it a pleasure to read. It feels almost like an actual oral tradition from a primitive tribe- which, I’m sure, was the author’s intent. A hidden gem!”
Finally, totallynotabrony went with The Vigil by Visiden Visidane. TNAB writes, "We've seen thestral backstory before. This story offered few deviations from most people's headcanon, but it's a mark of good writing when an author can take a familiar story but still make it gripping. Simply impactful."
Okay, it's time to list off the finalists! Our third place winner is...
All Quiet on the Changeling Front by Rune Soldier DanThe hive is in celebration. The invasion goes well, and soon all Equestria will surely fall. The victorious changeling soldiers will be covered in wealth and glory, and poor young Thorax fears the war will end before he can enlist.
It does not.
The one non-siren story I'll be discussing, and my personal top pick. This was an unflinching look at the tragedy and senselessness of a war powered by propaganda... up until reality broke through the hype, and then broke everything else. It's brutal and pitiless, made all the more so by the faint glimpses of what could have been in a happier timeline and watching the last dregs of idealism and hope get crushed out of Thorax's heart. If you're familiar with my work, you know this is the polar opposite of what I usually write and read. That I made it my number one should tell you something. - FanOfMostEverything
“All Quiet on The Changeling Front is technically sound and provides a plausible and interesting little AU.” - Categorical Grant
"What can I say, it's a war story. While definitely alt-universe, it explored that version of Changelings well, and gave personality that was otherwise missing to a couple of characters that I enjoyed reading about. Sometimes there are no storybook endings, and the author simply showed us the world, without trying to seek a lesson, or meaning, because sometimes life is like that." - totallynotabrony
Congratulations, Rune Soldier Dan! I'll be sending a Private Message to PresentPerfect so he knows to include you in his next batch of reviews!
Next up, our Second Place winner is...
The Music of The Reef by The 24th PegasusBeneath the clear blue waters of the Celestial Sea lies a great city known as The Reef. A metropolis without compare, The Reef is home to dozens of species, each one as colorful as the city's namesake. Together, the citizens of this underwater utopia create some of the greatest artistic accomplishments the world has ever seen, from incredible gravity-defying architecture to breathtaking stage performances. Seaponies, hippocampi, kelpies, and more live in harmony in The Reef, just like they have for centuries.
Toccata works the spotlight at The Reef's most famous musical theatre, Conch Hall. Ever since she moved to the city, she has dreamed of performing on stage, singing hit musical numbers before hundreds of sea creatures gathered in the auditorium. Music is her passion, her greatest pleasure, and her voice could put even the guild's top vocalist to shame.
Her only problem? Toccata is a siren, and The Reef has not allowed sirens to sing in public for centuries.
“The Music of the Reef is a classic tale in the pattern of humanity’s great books. It pits the single personality against more powerful forces, emphasizes the virtue of beauty, and centers around personal sacrifice. It is beautiful and pure in its prose. I’m a sucker for stories where the protagonist is carted away in defeat whilst they smile in victory. It’s a must-read.” - Categorical Grant
"Even if you assume there are sirens beyond the Dazzlings, their impact has to be acknowledged. Not every nation is as ignorant of its history as Equestria, and so we have The Reef, a city where siren song is illegal. This is a classic tale well told, that of the member of an opera house's stage crew who dreams of singing the lead. The legal wrinkle, a rich supporting cast, and some excellent undersea world building elevate the plot to one worthy of belting out the big numbers." - FanOfMostEverything
"It was great to meet these characters. They felt real, and were distinct personalities. There were a lot of fun little touches that really built out the world, and I liked how it could easily have dovetailed with canon. There were a few tropes, and the plot itself was nothing surprising, but extremely well executed." - totallynotabrony
Thank you for writing such a fantastic tale, 24th! I've already let Flutterpriest know to expect you!
Well, it comes down to this. Seventeen fantastic entries, each a memorable read in their own right, but only one can come out on top. And that one is...
Cucumber Seed joined the Ordo Aquarius to save his life.
The Ordo Aquarius trained him to serve his homeland.
To serve his homeland, he must drown.
"While I'm not sure I agree with the teen rating, it was a very unique premise and definitely explored a non-pony culture as was the objective of the contest. However, it was difficult to see it "actually happening" in the canon of MLP." - totallynotabrony
“This story was a weird one, and there’s no getting around it. That being said, it’s a haunting tale- Aquaphilia stays with you a long time. If you’re like me, you’ll stay up a few nights afterward, meditating upon the pseudo-horror and haunting love story within. It only takes some skill to write a story that makes you feel good; it takes a lot more to write one you’ll remember.” - Categorical Grant
"So, fun fact: The anglerfish has incredible sexual dimorphism. The female is the familiar knife-toothed nightmare with the glowing lure you're probably familiar with. The male is much smaller and can barely fend for itself. On a related note, sirens are much larger than ponies.
Yeah, this one is freaking weird. But it embraces that weirdness and makes it work better than it has any right to, not just creating a truly memorable case of interspecies cooperation, but also establishing completely believable circumstances that led to the two working together in the first place. I think the best way I can describe it is "heartwarming body horror." I'd say it got the gold through sheer audacity, but that wouldn't be giving proper due to the quality or sincerity of the prose." - FanOfMostEverything
Raugos, I'm honestly not surprised you won. You're a fantastic writer, and a really nice guy, to boot! Hell, you even let the main characters from Night Guards slum it for a cameo in Under A Luminous Sky! But for serious, this was an amazing tale, and you more than earned your $40 cash prize! I'll slip into your DM's to set up the payment. 
Well, there you have it, folks! Once more, I want to thank each of the seventeen authors from the bottom of my heart for participating. You all came up with some great ideas and stories, and each one was a treat to read. I promise, I'll be doing another one of these in the future, and this time it won't take three years! Til next time stay safe, stay free, and stay metal! Jake The Army Guy out!
Congratulations to all the winners! Y’all did great! 🖤
Thanks for having me as part of this. There were some really great stories that went unmentioned. You all did an amazing job of thinking outside the corral.
This was an excellent contest and a lot of great stories came out of it. It was great to see the creativity and particularly the awesome world-building that everybody did. Excellent job, all.
Thank you for running this, and to the judges for their work. I will remain in the group in anticipation of the next contest. I've had the idea for my fic kicking around in my head for a while, and this proved the deadline I needed to get it done.
Obligatory reminder that the real winners of any writing contest are the wider audience who get to read all the cool stories that came out of them.
5224619
Can I steal that horse-ism? It’s very fine stuff.
Congrats to the winners:
And thanks to Jake for giving me a reason to write the Scorpan story I'd been thinking about for so long.
Mike
5224636
Go right ahead.
Congratulations to all the winners, and thank you Jake and other judges for making this happen
Jake is right, basically every story in this contest was good. It really was difficult to pick a winner. If any contestants would like individual notes, hit me up.
Congratulations to all three winners, you did great. As for me and the others who lost, all I can say is better luck next time. I will continue to work hard and make more stores. And, hopeful improve my skills, thanks for letting us participate.
Thanks for the honorable mention, and congratulations to the winners. And thanks again to Jake for giving me an opportunity to write some Plainity and Eyepatch and indulge in terrible doggerel.
Thanks for organising this contest, Jake. And thanks to all the judges for reading our stuff!