• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2020
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Flotsam


Just some leftover detritus of a fandom that long ago reached its peak and burned out. Still, better late than never.

More Blog Posts7

  • 66 weeks
    About the Author / Sweeping Edits Pt.2

    With Chapter 13 of [EG:BFF I] now out, thus completing Act 2, it's once again time for another round of sweeping edits to help tighten/clean up the story so far, and to chronicle my current self's thinking so as to explain to my future self where their decisions in life may have went terribly, terribly wrong. I'll be going through both Acts this time, with Act 1 being skimmed for small

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    0 comments · 47 views
  • 80 weeks
    EG:BFF I - One Thousand(ish) Views - Whoo!

    It is a sad truth that, no matter how much MLP may preach lessons that can make us better people, reality is not quite as positive an experience.

    In reality, I am the antithesis of MLP.
    I am a bitter, cynical misanthropist who gave up on so much of what they once believed in. Passions, hopes, aspirations—all of the things that made me an aspiring artist—they all withered away long ago.

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    0 comments · 56 views
  • 83 weeks
    Revisions and Reminiscence - Chapters 6, 7, and 8

    Before my future self complains, I could make many viable excuses for why this took a while to complete. I could talk about how busy life's gotten, especially during this pandemic, or how I've been noodling with other important projects that hopefully bear fruit later on. But here's the real excuse for why this took so long:

    Screw you, I'll get to it when I get to it.

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    0 comments · 63 views
  • 87 weeks
    Revisions and Reminiscence - Chapters 4 and 5

    Almost 15,000 words in before the main characters actually speak to each other in the present. I'd call this story a slow boil, but you could probably heat up noodles with a damn flashlight faster than conflicts do with my own writing!

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    0 comments · 56 views
  • 89 weeks
    Revisions and Reminiscence - Chapter 3

    If I didn't know any better, I'd hazard that Chapter 3 of EG:BFF was written as a rebuke to how Chapter 2 was composed, as if to say "Look, fool, here's how you do flashbacks properly: you make the time periods distinct, and you make sure to clearly identify which period is taking place at the current moment!"

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    0 comments · 66 views
Mar
6th
2020

Revisions and Reminiscence - Chapters 1 and 2 · 5:59am Mar 6th, 2020

Note to my future self for when he reads this:
QUIT REFERENCING REAL WORLD THINGS IN YOUR WRITING, JACKASS! IT'S OBNOXIOUS, AND IT TAKES FOREVER TO CORRELATE APPROPRIATE HORSE-PUNS! Keep up the good work, though.

As predicted, Chapter 1 of EG:BFF didn't require too much tweaking, and I'm still rather proud of everything it accomplishes. I especially like how it avoids some of the pitfalls common to this sort of storytelling. There's no generic opening, it establishes the primary plot, it gives time to secondary characters, and it treats everyone with a certain level of consistency. Considering that the introductory chapter is not only a first impression of the overall story, but also of the writer's own style and narrative quirks, I'd say Among Orchards achieves exactly what I needed it to.

Chapter 2, on the other hand...well, I like it more now that I've finished the sweeping revisions.

The chief issue I have with Among High-Rises is how it's flashbacks are structured.
Usually, flashbacks are most effective if A) the thematic mood of each time-period is consistent and juxtaposes with each other (AKA: happy past, sad present), or B) events in one time-period directly influence what's happening in another (AKA: I shot an innocent guy in the past, I'm bitter and hesitant to fire a gun now).
Neither of these things are present enough in Chapter 2, especially since the whole thing starts off at roughly the middle of Rarity's vacation. There's nothing wrong with utilizing in medias res, but the problem with the initial version of Chapter 2 is that each of its segments feels largely disconnected from one another.

Despite the fact that it pretty much just involves 2 time-periods, the constant jumping between segments, the fact that every segment has a different mood, and the way every segment kind of stands on it own just made it really hard to follow on the whole. To put it another way, rather than have a successful flashback model that spans two periods (1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2), Among High-Rises is just a single period stretched out, chopped, and mixed up (4, 1, 5, 2, 6, 3, 7).

Sadly, there's no real way to fix this without doing a complete rewrite, and as I'm sure my future self will understand: I am beyond too lazy to invest in that kind of effort and frustration. As a compromise, the revisions I've made are more geared toward better connecting the segments, and emphasizing how certain ones are the contents of Rarity's reminiscence. Hopefully, this will at least make Chapter 2 a bit more palatable and easy to follow.

Anyway, this ought to be enough for me to reflect upon for a future psyche evaluation. Thankfully, Chapter 3 shouldn't require anywhere near as much tuning.

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