noise."State of the Author: March, I guess · 3:19am Mar 5th, 2020
State of the Author: January February March
Last time I wrote one of these I was all braggy about managing to do a SotA two months in a row. And I was going to do a post for New Year, and . . . aw, what the heck, it’s not too late yet.
Contractual obligation ☑
Today was a memorable day for me.
(You’ll have to turn your phone or monitor 90 degrees to properly view the image; I don’t know why this happens or how to fix it--it shows in the correct orientation on Discord.)
The last time I got a Matco Tools receipt with a current balance of 0.00 was . . . honestly, likely never. Tool trucks offer the mechanic the advantage of low low payments (for a long long time) and I just made my last today. I now own every single tool in my toolbox (and the toolbox) free and clear. Needless to say, the Matco guy is quite sad at this development.
In case you’re curious, this is I think the last tool I bought:
You’ll notice by the grime and chipped paint on the logo, it’s not exactly new anymore.
Speaking of work, I worked 75 hours last week between my two jobs! Yay!
I will remind people (if they need reminding) that the not-a-contest is still ongoing.
The not-a-contest will always be ongoing.
Now it’s time for some teasers! In no particular order!
Sky Sweeper kept out of the way as the gurney was whisked into the hospital. She wasn’t alone in there; while Dr. Sayad and Jane accompanied the hospital workers, Brian kept guard on his helicopter.
She normally didn’t get to sit in the front, but the seat was currently vacated, so she took it. As usual, her eyes were drawn to the gauges on the dashboard.
“If you could have any one of these, which would it be?”
“GPS is nice, I’ve got a watch that has that.” She pointed a hoof towards the screen. “Always knows where I am, and if I push the right buttons, it tells me where the closest airport is.”
“Not the altimeter?”
“If I hit a tree, I’m flying too low.”
“Attitude indicator?”
Sky Sweeper shrugged. “I don't need an instrument to tell me how I'm feeling.”
“That’s not—it’s not a helicopter mood ring.”
She smacked me with her hoof. “You’re not being serious.”
“Sometimes humans say things that they don’t mean.”
“Are you turning my own words against me?”
“I might be.”
The mare made her decision, and with a flick of her tail, she clacked over to the desk.
When she'd arrived, she hooked her forehooves on the desk and pulled herself up, just enough that her head stuck over the top. “Hi! I'm Bottlecap.”
“I'm Kaia.” She hesitated for a moment; normally her script would have her asking if the pony—if Bottlecap—had a reservation, but she probably did. “Is your room reserved under 'Bottlecap?'
“I hope so.”
Kaia's fingers danced on the keyboard, and found no reservation. Frowning, she tried again, this time just entering 'Cap' in the field for the last name. Still no result. Comma 'Bottle' did provide a result: Pony, Bottlecap. Gender tagged 'prefer not to say.' Already, she had an inkling how the day might wind up going.
”You have catch of the day, what’s that?”
She shrugged. “Whatever we catch. Mostly its fish but sometimes if it’s a bad day for sailing it’s sand crabs.” She leaned a bit closer. “Once it was catfish. That was a real bad day.”
Gordon nodded, even though mentally he was watching a tennis match and not quite sure where the ball was, or even if there was one. “What is it today?”
“Mostly redfish so far--they’re really going for the bait.”
“What are the chances we’d find it?”
“With no grad students to send on a hopeless task? Practically nil. Not unless it sparkles or something. Assuming that it still has viable bacteria in it, well, it might be worth taking soil samples.”
Their next task was to erect the frame. Dale held it in place for her as she checked it for plumb with a spirit level, and wedged shims in to hold it.
She'd brought two hammers, expecting that he'd want to help, and he did.
The hammer felt strange in his grasp; it was made for a pony, not a person, and wasn't balanced or weighted like he was used to, so he worked slowly, not wanting to mar the wood with a missed hit or bend the nail.
Ambrosia wanted to fit the casing boards next, before installing the door. After inspecting the side of the frame he'd nailed in and finding it worthy, she cut the casing boards and then gave them to him to install.
“If we just wanted a repeatable pattern, even if it's not the correct pattern, we could take one of the calenders off my candy roller,” Bon Bon said.
“You have a candy roller?” Starlight asked. “I only ever see you selling chocolates.”
“I can make drop candy, too. There just isn't as much of a market for it in Ponyville, so I only do it for special orders.”
Lyra nodded. “You should try her horehounds; they're delicious.”
And, since I’m feeling magnanimous, how about a preview for the Dakota blog?
I think I’ve mentioned before that some Chrysler computers show a topographical picture of the vehicle’s network. They show happy modules in blue, sad modules that have codes in yellow, and optional modules that aren’t equipped in grey. As I recall, they have a fourth color for very sad modules that should be online but aren’t, but I can’t remember what that color is.
On this particular Dakota, every equipped module was yellow, except for the WIN--it hadn’t been programmed to the Dakota yet, so it wasn’t sad.
It would be, though.
I pulled all the codes on it. There were a lot, so I’m just going to give you some highlights:
ABS:
C2202 VIN Mismatch
C2206 Vehicle Configuration Mismatch
U0100 Lost Communication with PCMSRS:
U1405 Implausible Vehicle Configuration Data
U1414 Implausible ECU Network Configuration
B1BB8 SRS Warning Indicator MismatchOCM:
B1BA8 OCM Not CalibratedTPM/WCM:
B1A35 Unidentified Key Communication Error
B1A25 Invalid Key
I think I'm showing that error code myself every morning, but it normally clears up by the second can of Coke.
Congratulations on getting your tool bill paid off! Just wait, something will break, just out of warranty.
5214546
I've had that one coming home at night.
Gratz! I felt that way when I cleared my credit card debt.
Teasing car blog updates. I like it. Well, I hate it in the sense that I'm not reading it right now, but like it in the sense that it's a Admiral Biscuit Promoissory Note for "I'm glad I'm not dealing with that" stories.
Someone has been watching the Lofty Pursuits YouTube channel.
And Yay! For more OTPP goodness.
All those poor professors they have they find of the century and no grad students to do all the leg work on. I hope we can see how they and Dale are getting along, I miss them.
5214546
I’m still running all factory parts.
5214548
Thanks!
My one 1/2” impact is showing its age, but it’s about $400 to replace. Luckily, I’ve got a backup for when it hasn’t got the oomph to get the job done.
5214551
Heh, me too.
5214558
It’s a good feel. Dunno how long it will last, because there are always more tools to buy, but for now, I’m free!
5214568
This one will be epic when it drops; the short, unedited version is over 4,000 words.
5214570
Someone has.
How do you think Sweetie Drops got her name?
SoonTM
5214572
I know, right? That’s the worst part; as long as they’re on the island, they can’t foist the grunt work on their grad students.
Oh, you will. Not gonna promise a publish date, not yet, but we’re getting closer to it happening.
How much do mechanics need to spend in tools each year? How did this system come about, as opposed to the shop buying whatever tools are necessary?
Gasp!
Is that a OTPP update ya teasing? 'Soon™' isn't soon enough. 
Hah, happy new year! :D
And congratulations on paying that off!
Implausible Vehicle Configuration Data?
Sounds like every PC installation Iv ever made.
So much for standards. One system shows just how good a cooperative design can be, then everyone else spends the next centuary building every other possible variation, and denying it ever existed.
I get this feeling your manager is going to be involved with the application of a 15/16th socket on a 25mm suspension nut or equivalent, and with the leaning and distraction or such, something is going to end up Bent.
Not sure what you're writing, but it sounds promising!
"Discord"
I didn't know you used discord.
Grats on getting all the tools paid off.... for now, until you see that next tool you need/want.
I see, I see. Applejack is the last tool you bought?
5214594
For me, usually 3-4k/year. For my sake, don’t do the math on that.
Sometimes, the shop will buy certain specialty tools, and often a few very basic tools for tire changers/oil changers, and the rest are the mechanic’s responsibility. I don’t know how it came about, but I’d theorize that it was as a result of the first mechanics being blacksmiths or carpenters.
5214604
It is!
Draft is nearing completion--I was hoping it would be done this week but it’s another week where I’m on overtime before Friday, so it won’t be this week. If things don’t go too screwy on the weekend, I might have it done on Sunday and ready for the first of several editing passes.
5214605
Thanks!
5214614
You say that, but if you’d did what this customer did, your PC wouldn’t have worked.
Daimler would very much have liked for this Dakota to have never existed, and that’s a fact.
For better or worse, his only real involvement on this one was actually suggesting to the customer that we might be able to fix it. The customer would have done better to call a priest.
5214633
I’m not always, either.
Yay!
5214689
I do! Sometimes. . . . send me a PM with your username link, and I’ll friend you when I next log in.
Believe me, there were more than a few where I had to remind myself of the end goal of a $0.00 balance and not a new shiny for my toolbox. And of course there’s more stuff I do actually need or at least could use now and again, but for now I’m free and clear from the
company storetool truck.5214880
If you were going to buy a pony to help you around the shop, who would you choose?
5215047
Oh, absolutely.
*after some explanation*
"Wait, you really think I wouldn't notice if I'm sliding sideways?"
Current attitude of the pegasus pony: snarky
Missing a ".
5215036
I'm just glad to know it's coming. Don't work yourself too hard.
Those ponies see almost as heavy use as your tools, don't they?
Out of curiosity, how do you guys keep your hands clean around the shop?
Is it difficult to find lye soap or boraxo or lava bar or hand sanitizer or whatever these days? I was at the hardware store the other day and they were completely out except for original boraxo. I really would have preferred unscented.
5215035
3-4k/year? Is that kind of expense built in to your wages?
5215118
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/6/15/1462363.jpeg
I’d bet that as long as they kept the window open, pegasi would make the best IFR pilots.
5215129
That’s what I get for teasing from working drafts :P
Correction made in both the blog post and the draft, thanks!
5215559
Well, they’ve been living in a shop environment for the last eight or nine years, so a little bit of grime is to be expected.
5215502
Thanks!
5215588
We were getting some kind of pumice + hand cleaner from one of our normal suppliers for years (I called it ‘puma soap’) . . . I don’t know the brand on that. My manager is a big believer in Snap-On’s soap, so that’s what we’re getting now. Nitro Gold or something like that.
I’ve used Fast Orange before and that’s okay but dries out my skin in the winter, and Palmolive is really good at degreasing, too. Also for personal use, I use either Irish Spring bar soap or Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 hemp peppermint pure castile soap.
5215946
It’s complicated (how mechanics get paid is complicated), but arguably yes.
Also, that expense is why your casual friend who’s a mechanic won’t just lend you some tools for whatever. Those are how he (or she) makes a living, and they aren’t cheap. The air tool drawer of my service cart, for example, likely has five grand in air tools in it . . . and that’s just one drawer.
5216483
Wow. What's the resale value like on those? Could a retiring mechanic raise another $15-20k by selling off their tools?
5216523
Ballpark, probably 1/3 the current price of the tool. So yeah, certainly a few tens of thousands of dollars could be raised. But that, too, is complicated. I have a rather expensive scan tool which isn’t worth anything any more since it’s too old to be updated. I might get a thousand for it, tops, if I traded it in on a new unit. Hand tools tend to keep a higher value, since most of them have lifetime warranties, power tools are hit and miss (old pneumatic tools are worth more than old electric tools). Plus, an advantage of increasing tool prices means that the used tool market stays robust.
Even if I were to quit my job, I’d hang on to the tools. They’re useful for all sorts of things outside of work, after all.
Ah, tools. Can ponies truly grasp the vast importance/relationship they have with humans?
"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe. "
-Lincoln
That's one thing I inherited from my grandfather. I have as much fun doing system maintenance and tweaking and ricing as I do serious work or gaming. Or going to the trouble of sharpening saws and blades in the garage or kitchen when it might be more optimal to replace.
this is probably super late, but about your 90 degrees image -- it actually displays with the correct orientation in Chrome version 80, but it loads in from right to left. I suspect what happened is that your camera sensor itself has a fixed orientation, but your camera's software can't actually run the math needed to properly rotate the image, so instead it embeds a flag that tells compatible viewers "please show this image sideways so it appears right side up".
Most modern viewers and web browsers will understand the flag for what it is, but some older browsers and primitive viewers may ignore it.
5248534
That’s very possible. It’s a Samsung Galaxy S8 (I think that’s what I have). It would seem like that’s an advanced enough camera to process that, but you might be right about it putting in a flag rather than saving the image rotated.
I think it only happens with pictures I bounce through Discord, so how Discord processes them could also be an issue. They’ll display the correct way on Discord, but not in the blog post.
I could probably fix them by editing them on my computer, then uploading them to Discord, but sometimes I’m too lazy to do that.
I don’t know what version of Chrome I have . . . there is apparently an update that I haven’t installed yet, though. (same for my phone)