Introduction to an Incompetent Captain of the Guard · 1:27am Feb 25th, 2020
When I were a colt, I served at a dock,
As a intern to the Baltimare Locks,
I swabbed the floor and I stirred the stew,
And I polished the blades on the big bronze screws!
Chorus:
He polished the blades on the big bronze screws!
I polished up the screws so carefully,
And now I am the ruler of the E.U.P!
Chorus:
He polished up the screws so carefully,
That now he is the ruler of the E.U.P!
As intern-colt I made such a mark,
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile aloof,
and I copied all the letters in a big round hoof!
Chorus:
He copied all the letters in a big round hoof!
I copied all the letters in a hoof so free,
That now I am the ruler of the E.U.P!
Chorus:
He copied all the letters in a hoof so free,
That now he is the ruler of the E.U.P!
In serving writs that I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became,
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the passed-examination at the institute.
Chorus:
For the passed-examination at the institute.
That passed-examination did so well for me
That now I am the ruler of the E.U.P!
Chorus:
That passed-examination did so well for he
That now he is the ruler of the E.U.P!
Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.
Chorus:
Was the only ship that he ever had seen.
But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the ruler of the E.U.P!
Chrous:
But that kind of ship so suited he,
That now he is the ruler of the E.U.P!
I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
Chorus:
He never thought of thinking for himself at all.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the E.U.P!
Chorus:
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him the Ruler of the E.U.P!
Now landsfoals all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.
Chorus:
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.
Stick to your desks and library,
And you all may be rulers of the E.U.P!
Chorus:
Stick to your desks and library,
And you all may be rulers of the E.U.P!
This. Is. GENIUS.
5209244
You wanna use it?
5209245
I mean, I don't know what exactly I'd use it for, but I'll DEFINITELY memorize this and sing it around the house.
5209246
Alright I wait then. I wanted to write but I couldn't think of anything for The Composer