Why do We/You/I write? · 8:31am Feb 22nd, 2020
I often tought about this, though mostly I'd say it's me trying to justify to myself why I have been writing Crossing the Trixie Bridge. Even why I've encouraged a few others, and even helped them get started or co-wrote with their stories. Though, it seems all of them have gone on hiatus or put their stories on the shelf and may not pick them up again.
But why even get started? What were any of us trying to say or express? One I feel wanted to tell a story of someone who lost a lot in their life and felt as if life left them with no escape from misery, but were offered a way out and a chance to save others. Another wanted pure escapism while finding a way to show someone escaping their isolation. Another wanted a story where a character could live the fantasy of being the hero who was wanted and loved for but struggled with their own self-worth and ability to trust others enough to be close to them. Though my worst experience was with a writer who would write maybe a page worth of material and then ask for help in terms of me writing all the characters, dialog, plot points.... virtually everything past the first page. Only to turn around two days later and say "So, I decided to start over with a new idea. I need to-" and that's as far as that went.
Each of the first three had some rather specific reasons for writing their stories. Each has varying degrees of success ranging from getting the foundation down but stuck on the shelf, another with a rocky start but commendable support, and at least one that had viewership in the thousands.
Then there's me... As I've stated before in different areas "I don't know how to write a simple story." Part of that reason is because life, or at least mine, hasn't had a simple narrative. It's been full of characters, both major and minor, that all played vital roles in my progression and contributed in their own ways to an amazing story I'm still living today. Outside of that, my life can't be simply a slice of life, romance, horror, drama, tragedy, comedy, or an erotic telling of my experiences. It's been all of them and more. I say that, because to me, Crossing the Trixie Bridge is my attempt to different parts of my life and some of the major influences that I've encountered.
Each human character is a representation of myself, with some being heavily influenced by those I've been close to or bonded with and took in part of what they've been through and entrusted to me. For anyone who's commented or appreciated how some of the interactions between characters "feels natural" or "sounds like something that would really happen/be said" is because in most cases, they have for me. If you've found yourself at a part of the story where you read how a character reacts to something and say, "Wow, I can relate to that," then perhaps that's an experience we've both shared in some different form at different times.
For the pony characters, I've done my best to keep them as canon as possible, but at the same time, forced them to change after they are hit with the harsh realities and new ideas and sensations they've been exposed to with the humans. In some ways, for the pony characters, it's a coming of age story. Granted, they're almost all in their 20's, but being stuck in a childlike mindset with only portions of adult experiences and responsibilities being granted to them has left them mentally and emotionally stunted. Now they're facing nearly all of the harsh realities they had been sheltered from, but are given limited information or support in most cases.
One of the big themes in this story deals with sexual discovery, identity, self-control, and acceptance. Depending on who you're with, these issues can be embarrassing to admit you have. Other times you're okay with it and it's a joy to share them with others or just a running gag you can all make lite of. For others, it's a struggle not to give in to the temptation and chase after it or the shame that you can't give it up.
And for me, that's been one of the hardest things to approach with this story.
Love, lust, fear, regret, morality, free will, obligation, fate, mortality, trust, cooping, and inappropriate jokes are just some of the things to expect, as everyone involved has to decide if what they feel is real, fake, natural, or the work of some external influence.
Great concepts and story elements to work with... but I chose MLP FIM as the medium to explore it in. SUPER CRINGE! But my thought process behind it I think works better in this context. Why? Mostly because we're past the day and age of struggling to accept interracial couples, same-sex partners, promiscuity, and following traditional social norms. Of the list above, the biggest ones to emphasize are love, lust, fear, regret, morality, free will, obligation, trust, and cooping for this aspect of my story. These are all HUGE components to relationships, and not everyone is going to view them the same way.
Then, everyone involved has to decide if what they feel is real, fake, natural, or the work of some external influence... Imagine you find yourself questioning your situation with an intimate partner(s). You discover something and you have to wonder if you came upon those feelings because you might have been lied to. Maybe your partner was lead in under false pretenses or completely different expectations. Then you have to question if what you feel for each other happened naturally, if it's all been an illusion you've been diluted with, or maybe you don't know if it's real or fake but there was so much external influence in what led you there that you question if you ever even had an honest choice in the matter.
Would you stay if it was founded upon a lie or something superficial? Would your feelings change if the one ou desired or loved for a reason that was completely different than what felt for you? What if the situation changes in such a way that you still love them but feel that the relationship itself is wrong or unhealthy? These characters explore these ideas better than for us now than the idea of any modern-day racial or gender dynamics while still focusing on loving others for who they are on the inside, not the outside or other biological/racial differences.
Otherwise, something that's much easier to see is cooping and dealing with the traumatic events that unfold in our lives. Broken families, death, PTSD, failed relationships, poor life choices, unhealthy habits, alcohol abuse, isolation, depression. We've seen it all. I've seen it all. We've all experienced at least some of these and had to fight through the recovery or maybe still are. What gets us there isn't always the same. Some people seek it out openly, others have only a select few they slowly upon to for support, some will only confide to intimate loved ones, and others have to crash and burn with their problems blowing up in their face before they'll accept any help.
But why am I writing this blog? I don't have a large following or viewership given the size of my story and how long it's been out. I'm not really expanding my audience much anymore. My blogs get far less attention than any of my chapters, considering if you look at my blog few counts, about half of the views are me reopening the page to read a comment and reply. In other words... what I say has very little outreach.
However, why do We/You/I write? Because whether or not we receive praise and support, or downvotes and negative comments, or are outright ignored... We all have something to say. My story, I feel, says a lot about me and what I've struggled with. This blog is a combination of my terrible personal trait of hating and fearing of being misunderstood, as well as my hopes that someone will read this and be inspired to put their thoughts and feelings to writing and express it. Maybe some of those I've helped will read this and remember what they wanted to say and be inspired to put those thoughts into words. If not them, someone new.
To me, this is part of my therapy. Everything from the drama, terrible jokes, physical pain, mental and emotional pain, confusion, acceptance of embarrassing truths, and even the erotic sections and inappropriate jokes give me an outlet.
Your story doesn't have to be in the hundreds of thousands of words. It doesn't need to be deep, profound, or thought-provoking. Unless in the off chance your writing for a commission or a gift to fit someone else's taste, write for yourself. Even if no one likes it. Even if you end up hating it. Write it out and see why you hate it. Was it worded poorly, or did you discover that maybe what you thought changed after you had to reexamine it? Was it really a bad idea, or did you realize there was a more powerful and creative way to continue?
My story has changed in many ways from where I started it. The dynamics of different relationships changed for some. Other's were never developed. Motives and actions had to be altered when I realized that the characters I created, if human, would react far differently even despite the situations they're put in. Some parts of my story that have yet to be released hurt to write, but I feel like I'm better because I wanted to explore those events in that way. And if you write, I hope it can do the same for you.
Holy fuck, am I ever long-winded and preachy. If you read all this, thank you, and I hope it helps.
Explains the depth of your characters. To think all of them have a aspect of yourself in them... Wow
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You hit many things that make this web side so appealing to us. Also why we love the more mature side to many of the story we enjoyed past - present and hopefully in the future.
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Pretty sure the ones reading it are affected in one way or another. If it help someone even a singel person i think it worth the effort.
Your story and that of others are not pure entertainment. They can teach us to see things from different perspectives and teach empathy towards others. Very impactful things.
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Im a personal music therapy guy. Might have one day the guts to try mysrlf writing a story or two. But im often surprised how i keep making start and never go trough with it. Yet. . .
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It give me pause to think about some things.
Thanks.
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I'm always happy to get a comment from you. But like I said... I don't know how to write a simple stroy. Because... yeah... Life is messy.