• Member Since 27th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen Monday

Andrew Joshua Talon


A fellow traveler...

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Feb
7th
2020

The Stars Revolt! Archives 2 · 10:46pm Feb 7th, 2020

In the Ancient Human Archives...

Twilight: "You know, you really overreacted. It's just a sword. It doesn't carry any more meaning than you assign it."

Shepherd: "This from the alicorn princess! You have no idea what that stupid thing could do! It'll make me grow a beard!"

Twilight: "What's wrong with a beard? I think you'd look good with it."

Shepherd: *sighs* "Look, magic and humans almost never ends well. I'm just saying, if all the crazy magic stuff from Earth ended up here, there's probably a good reason for it."

Twilight: "You're so paranoid! Please, just try to have some perspective?"

Shepherd: *sighs* "Okay, fine... You're probably right."

Twilight: "Maybe I'm right more often than you give me credit for."

Shepherd: "Probably."

Twilight: *shaking her head* "Anyway, let's check this room."

Inside this room... Is a hammer, decorated in runes.

Twilight: "Huh. Metal alloy hammer, covered in ancient runes..."

Shepherd: *Sighs, looks through the apps on his tablet* "They're Norse... Let's see... 'Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall wield the power of Thor.'"

Twilight: "So... Is this a powerful magical artifact?"

Shepherd: *rolls his eyes, though he looks relieved* "No. It's just a prop from a movie. I mean, the actual Thor's hammer would never look like this, come on!"

Twilight: "Oh, you mean those Marvel movies? I suppose... Though it looks very detailed."

Shepherd: "Please." *He reached over and picked it up* "If it was actually Thor's Hammer, there is no way I could lift it. I'm not worthy. And I definitely wouldn't-!"

KRACKA-THOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!

And now, standing before Twilight is Shepherd... As the God of Thunder. Complete with beard.

Shepherd: "..."

Twilight: "... Oh wow you're hot."

Shepherd: "... Seriously?"

Comments ( 18 )

First Excalibur, now Mjölnir...does this have anything to do with Shepherd being the only human on that planet?

5199070
Pretty much.

Shepherd: "Wow, I earned the participation trophy."

Dan
Dan #3 · Feb 7th, 2020 · · ·

Maybe next the Dragon Lord will gift him the Jingu Bang and he'll grow a really hairy face.

vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/p__/images/1/1d/Son_Wukong.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20181007154956&path-prefix=protagonist

Shepherd: Yet another day of cataloging human artefacts.

Twilight: this one should be easy. It’s listed as a 1974 Dodge Monaco. A former Mount Prospect patrol car. Licence plate is BDR 529.

Shepherd: it’s weird. I’ve just come over with this urge to sing Sweet Home Chicago, while wearing a black suit and tie. Has anyone seen my sunglasses?

5199072
more like he wins by default the sweetest victory possible

James would definitely want to test that hammer. Then would become increasingly frustrated at his inability to lift Mjolnir.
And Excalibur, assuming it doesn't sing and dance.
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141205042152/souleater/images/3/39/Excalibur_Render.png

Oh, great, now he's gonna want to eat lutefisk and unleash the horrors of that food upon Equestria.

5199070
I imagine these choosing artefacts have to be sentient to a degree. They would normally be locked into "refuse unless" mode, but given a few eons gathering dust in a forgotten cave or something, they would accept a nice kid rather than demand a paragon.

You can hand that one off to Big Mac, Shepard. He'll be delighted to be able to fly.

5199084
It leads to Shepard and Spike on a road trip "We're on a mission from the princess."

KATHOOOM!!!

He stands beard and lighting.

“Oh...bugger...”

:twilightoops:..”soooo cooool.”

“This only cool if...” He swings it and somewhere music can be heard, Come from the land of the ice and snow “...yes, this is cool.”

Is it...
Is the reason Andrew can Lift Mjolnir or Excalibur due to the fact that he is the only human available thus making him worthy?
Or if it is not due to that, it is due to the fact that he does NOT want the powers that come with the objects

5199309
That’s kind of hilarious.

“You chose me because I am worthy.”

“Nope.”

“Nope?”

“You were the only one with hands, dumbass.”

“....Spike has-“

“-Claws.”

“....-m-Minotaurs they-“

“Your default, plain and simple.”

“Awwwww.

5199309
Pretty much both. But yes, he had hands. So he was "worthy."

At this rate he should avoid saying anything that sounds like 'Shazam', and keep an eye open for little green rings that might try to recruit him as a space cop.

5199314
First of HAH doesn't that smart when you figure that
5199313
Second HEehhehe
'it is your DESTINY!'
'Really?' all starry eyed and in wonder
'Pbt! Nah, but we had you going huh.'

5199070
Well, when you're literally the last human on Earth then by definition you're the 'worthiest' one.

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