More Blog Posts222

180 weeks
I didn't disappear again, I promise

This year sucked.
I've just been trying to cope. I'm in and out of various kinds of episodes. Quarantine has me fucked up. The last week has me in some fucked up relapse and I've been forgetting the days. I keep have fits of rage because I can't remember what year it is. I hate this.
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3 comments · 191 views
223 weeks
Things slowly get easier

My birthday is in a few weeks, and it's surreal. I'm going to be 20, but I still feel like a child. I guess that comes with the territory of lost time
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3 comments · 228 views
224 weeks
It's been hard

I've been in and out of consciousness the past week. Everything's been rather hard, my schizophrenia has had a flareup and it's hard to get out of bed when I'm having delusions and hallucinations again. I haven't been in control very often the past few days, it's mostly been the adults in control, I guess
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3 comments · 186 views
225 weeks
Oh...

It's 30 minutes to midnight.
Our fiance fell asleep, so I'm totally alone.
I've been crying nonstop, and having urges to self-harm again honestly
This is horrible. I feel horrible
I just want to fall asleep for a few days until I feel better...
4 comments · 216 views
225 weeks
In case I don't make it to midnight

I was really excited for the new year. Especially for the new decade, and I didn't think I would be
....then everyone I know had a bad new year. And people started telling me they felt awful that it was a new decade, and they missed the past, etc
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4 comments · 211 views

Jan

14th

2020

Things slowly get easier · 3:27am Jan 14th, 2020

My birthday is in a few weeks, and it's surreal. I'm going to be 20, but I still feel like a child. I guess that comes with the territory of lost time

I've been recollecting the Build-a-Bear ponies recently. They made me really happy when I was an actual teenager, so I'm happy to be able to reclaim things I lost when I was gone for those four years (my BAB collection was sold, or given away, or something...)

Right now, I found a Rarity at a thrift store and I bought Dashie and Pinkie from someone in a group chat. I'm really sad my motor skills have dropped so badly, because I really want a plushie of Henry to be honest o3o maybe I'll save up and commission one? Do you think anyone would make a faux BAB >.<