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PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords, and reviews both independently and for Seattle's Angels. New reviews posted every Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

More Blog Posts435

Jan
12th
2020

Concepts and Creations — Agent Fleur · 5:42pm January 12th

As promised in my last blog, it's time I started telling of some more stories that will likely never see the light of day, mostly involving my Trixie vs. Equestria, No Heroes, and Fleur-Verse timelines. I felt there was no better place to start than the originally intended origin story, i.e. the place that started the timeline break in the overarching AU. I had no name for the story, so we'll settle for calling it "Agent Fleur" and be done with it. Fair warning now: I won't hold back from spoiling events in already released stories in this and future blogs involving these three franchises.

A little background. As I've already stated, the Trixie vs. Equestria, No Heroes, and Fleur-Verse series of stories are all alternate timelines of one another. To aid myself in keeping things straight, I used a timeline program (Aeon Timeline 2, in case anyone's interested) to track the timing of events in all stories. One of the ground rules of the timelines is that all characters will retain their birthdays regardless of timeline. This was perfectly fine for me and works wonders on keeping things even. Then I made a mistake...

Fleur de Lis' birthday was different between two of the timelines. The moment I saw this, ideas went wild. I have kept the error and used it to further my brainstorming.

In the stories, Fleur indeed was born on different days, singling her out as unique among all the ponies in Equestria. This grants her a special, if entirely unrealized, connection to the timestream. At times, unwittingly and with no awareness of the consequences, she can create branches in probability and create whole new timelines. Queue this story.

For those of you who haven't read the series, the main No Heroes stories center around my OC Fine Crime, head of Equestria's elite spy agency the Archons, putting together and leading a team of ponies serving under Princess Luna as a backup for the Mane Six. Heard that plot before? Of course you have, tons of authors have given it a go. What's important here is that Fleur de Lis is Fine's apprentice and second-in-command, slated to be his replacement when he dies or retires.

This story begins just before the events of No Heroes Part III - For Dreams. In that story, a joint team consisting of Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Upper Crust, Octavia, and OC Jimmy Stone go to Nildia (my ponified India) to look into a collection of tsunamis that are suspected to be unnatural in nature, maybe even intentional. Agent Fleur starts out with Fine, Fleur, and Luna discussing the mission and deciding who will go to Nildia. Fleur, always looking for ways to prove herself, wants to be the one to take it on, but Fine and Luna both have different ideas.

Unwittingly, Fleur's desire to go creates a split in the timestream, one path leading to the story as we know it and the other where Fleur convinces Luna and Fine to let her investigate the tsunamis.

This leads to a James Bond-style story in which Fleur de Lis journeys to Nildia and infiltrates an underground criminal organization led by none other than Mane Archon, a villain from the main series with his own... colorful background I may go into at a later time. At his side is Tazel Wyrm, an artificial draconequus stuck sharing brains with her long-dead creator Silma Ril. For those of you wondering, I conceived of her long before the Tatzlwurm appeared in Three's a Crowd. Strangely, the canon one bears no resemblance physically or in background to the origin it is named after. Also at his side, and conceived entirely for this story, is Steel Pollen, a Breezie who uses a mechanical minotaur suit to disguise his true identity.

The details of the story aren't all clear, except that Discord and possibly a few other third parties (Daring Do?) would have had major roles. What is known is the intended end-game of the villains. Using a blend of technology and centaurian magic, they developed a device that could drain all the magic from one individual and give it to another. The plan was to use this magic on a being like Discord, transferring said magic into Mane Archon so he could conquer Equestria.

Also well known is the conclusion. While Mane Archon would have been portrayed as the primary villain of the story, the true final battle would be against Steel Pollen. The Breezie would use trickery to betray Tazel Wyrm, using the device on her to get her powers and killing her in the process, then do the same to Mane Archon. Fleur would then interrupt the machine just as it is about to be used on Discord, promptly gaining some of his abilities herself, and the two would work together to fight against and defeat Steel Pollen before she returned to Discord his full powers.

I know, there are two things that come up. First, what does any of this have to do with tsunamis in ponified India? Simply put, Tazel was the cause, and she was doing it to stir up a religious cult believing in an ancient Nildian water god, both for recruitment purposes and to prepare everyone for the very real World Serpent living under the ocean. This is all in relation to what really happened in Book IV, wherein said World Serpent made a rather dramatic and devastating appearance... events that never occur in this timeline.

The second thing: "A Breezie as a villain? Really?" It's exactly because of that reaction that I wanted to do it. I for one would love to see a story in which a Breezie gets to be the bad guy and does a legit good job of it.

The third question, which would make sense only to those who know the original series, would be: "What about the Stones?" The Stones were three ancient magical items, literally magic-infused gemstones, which were at the center of all the villains' machinations in the original series. By the time of Book III, the villains already had two of the set. It makes sense that people would wonder what became of them in this alternate timeline when the villains are all dead and the good guys had no idea they were after the stones.

And honestly? I have no answer. It absolutely would have to have been addressed in this story, but it's not something I ever took into serious consideration seeing as I never got started on the story proper. I guess it'll just remain a mystery.

So why address this story first? Well, even though it's not a primary point of the story itself, it's important to recognize that this is the moment that all other timelines are born from. And as I go into other stories in the coming weeks, the awareness that these are alternate timelines and that Fleur is the cause will become important, especially in relation to the Trixie vs. Equestria material. Saying all this now saves me having to say it all later.

This would have been a tricky story to write. It would have needed to incorporate some important elements of previous stories in the No Heroes universe while going in a new direction, even as I intended it to pay homage to spy movies in general. It would also have to keep in mind that there are already published stories set after these events. Indeed, practically all my published Fleur-verse stories are set after it. There's also the problem of the theme of the majority of Fleur-verse stories, which involves the paranormal – not something readily associated with spy stories. Still, it could have been a fun romp and a true test of my literary chops, and that makes the fact I'll probably never write it all the sadder.

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Comments ( 10 )

I’m stunned. Lots of world building there.

That's quite the au. Seriously deep lore, which is always gois. At this point, were it me planning it, I'd have been tempted to set it up as an ofic and see if it would still play out well.

I saw this and thought that was a blaster and this was Fleur as Leia... :D

5184898
IKR? And it's not even over; I had big plans for these timelines, as we'll see in time.

5184912
I have considered it. But the one thing I've come to grasp over the years is that my ambition is my weakness. This isn't the only universe I've created with significant background, inside or outside of the fandom. I can, on the spot, think of at least three original fictions and two MLP fanfiction universes of similar scope that I've had building up in my head. Whoop, make that four originals. And of course, those take time to write.

I only have so much time on this mortal coil. Got to be choosy. Heck, that's the entire reason I'm posting these blogs.

5185062
Fleur de Leia, eh? I bet someone can pull that off. I don't think it would even be that hard.

What sort of spy is she going to be? The fantasy Bond spy, or the soul-ripping false comrade sort? I think it'd be great to have two parallel in the story between a Nigirian who joins with a friend into the cult to spy on the inside and look at the rational and reasonability of the populace who get swept into the paranoia while maintaining how scared they are, and Fleur on the outside trying to investigate and infiltrate, niether side knowing the other, since the Nigirian spy is using mail drop off and a codename to give information and Fleur is the boss of an cloak and dagger operation, so only few would actually know her by sight. Ending off with Nigirian Spy finally succumbing to madness and Fleur starting to take a cold-professional approach to the job, where they fight at the end, it ends quickly with Fleur killing the other spy and niether knowing about the other for the rest of their lives

5185659
First off: it's Nildia, so you probably mean "Nildian" spy, not "Nigirian", which isn't even on the same continent as India anyway.

Second, while your idea might work on its own, it wouldn't in Agent Fleur. There are already a dozen things that need to come together properly for it to even have a hope of a good plot within the bounds of the pre-existing AU. There's no way throwing in some mysterious extra spy with zero relation to the pre-existing characters into the mix with their own separate story intertwined with the one that actually matters would work. There is such a thing as too ambitious.

As for what Fleur herself would be, she'd be her own type of spy that best fits into the narrative as it goes along. While I'd have loved her to be a Bond-esque superspy – and she certainly is a superspy – getting that particular style to fit into the pre-existing puzzle would require a lot of careful consideration.

5185587
Oh god, I can empathise with that so much. And I'll be the first to say I'm glad you're at least showing us these ideas. It's lovely.

5185662
Sorry, low key dyslexic

I thought the extra spy would be good just to show the inside looking out in contrast to Fleur's outside looking in. It seems cheap to have a whole line-up of shmucks because Nildian are superstitious and will start deathcults on whim, without a bit of context of how Nildian think.

Well, I have no idea what sort of operator sort of conduct that Fleur will undergo, but if you know what you're doing, I guess that's enough to get going

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