One Year Later · 12:40am Dec 23rd, 2019
Yesterday was the first anniversary of Hell’s completion. True to form, I sat down a couple days ago to write something deep, significant, and retrospective. And just as true to form, that effort flamed-out into a hangdog bloodletting of pain and trauma which no one frankly needs to read.
Instead of trying to finish that, I went and saw the new Star Wars movie with my wife. Then I inadvertently (and FINALLY) sparked my oldest child’s interest in Star Wars via Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast on the Switch of all things. Then we watched The Force Awakens, which—amazingly—held everyone’s rapt attention.
Then I started typing this while making dinner to the sounds of the kids running around “playing Star Wars.” The usual chaos has a strong tinge of laughter and imagination about it.
My wife sits on the couch, having a drink and (probably) reading social media, but also placing herself at the center of the ongoing adventure as imaginary Falcons need repair, or fallen enemies somehow return stronger. There have been more than a few drinks and rather a bit much social media, but a sense of being plugged-in is there. “All right,” she says, apropos of nothing, “I’ll be a Jedi. I’ll be a Jedi all day long. Are you a Jedi?”
And even as I stand alone in the kitchen, wondering how long it’ll be before someone notices the sounds of cooking have faded, I don’t feel so alone. I think sometimes that I was not cut out for fatherhood, having neither the patience nor skill for it, nor an oldest child whose temperament made it an easy transition. But more often these days, it feels like my efforts of learning and staying plugged-in has gotten us somewhere. The challenges never truly go away, but I’m at least familiar with them. I at least need less reminding. Most of the time. I hope.
This is what life looks like a year out from the ending of To Serve In Hell. Granted, one good day is representative of nothing. But I’ll tell you that it damn sure didn’t look like this a year ago, nor did the change come overnight. And yet, a year ago, a journey ended that needed to end before this newer one could begin.
I’m forever waffling about whether I could continue that original journey, or when I would, or if I should. I wish I had a better answer. I know there’s more story down in there.
But for today, it’s dinner time. The New Jedi Order is having nachos.
Happy Helliversary, Coffee. Glad to hear you and yours are having a pleasant one.
Sounds like a good start to the holiday season. Best wishes right on through to 2020 and beyond!
*Points at the nachos* How you get so big, eating food of this kind?
Good to hear from you,
nice anniversary to this story,
Happy Hearthswarming ^_^
Merry Christmas to you and yours. I hope that it was a wonderful time and that next year is a good one for you. The good days mean as much as the bad. Sometimes if you can find a day or two that you can hold onto that are good they can help when the waters of life get rocky.
As far as the story goes ... proceeding is entirely up to you and it may never be right again regardless of how much story may be there. Whether it ever is right or not again is really unimportant though really just the fact that you did what you did. Sometimes that's more than enough.
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Hey all, I realize it’s rather sorely belated, but I wanted to say thank you for your kind words.
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You’re welcome...
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NOW GET BACK TO WORK ON THE SEQUEL!
I mean... if you want to.
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I am firmly decided about definitely making a hard decision about thinking on the question of whether to consider that.
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I’m always late so no flak from me :3